Family member said something I don’t like :(

[Sunflower2478]

Hi everyone,

Just looking to a bit of advice as I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not and need to check myself for being over sensitive!

My ten year old was being a bit impatient this morning about wanting to go back home from a family visit and a family member told him he was being a brat. Yes his behaviour was a bit irritating and I myself told him to settle down a bit, but overall hes a good kid and I don’t like hes been called that on Christmas Eve as well! 😭 I feel really annoyed.

what would your thoughts be?

thanks so much x

It's harder to correct behavior - and family can feel mor entitled to undermine you or just interfere - when it's their turf.

Shrug it off - and try and avoid future similar situations - neutral location or yours so he can go off and get space when needed.

Other thing is to say something at the time - excuse me I've dealt with the behavior thank you.

Brat not that bad in my world - it may be in this family members it's not as bad as you find it.

But you’re not happy to be told he’s behaving badly.
Whilst nobody likes their kids being called brats. You need to see the behaviour from other people’s perspective.
Whilst you may not feel his behaviour was poor, someone else did.
You obviously don’t like anybody expressing themselves unless it’s your son.

Maybe you should have stepped up and told him off yourself for misbehaving.

Exactly. I think we need more details rather than OP assuring us “he was not being a brat”.

If he was repeatedly saying he wanted to go home in front of the hosts, it does sound rude and the issue is you should have stepped in before your relative did.

Nope!
Not on my watch would anyone call my child a brat whether they were being one or not.
And let's face sometimes they can all behave like that at times.

I really don’t think so. When I have said it to me DS it’s more like ‘x, can you please stop behaving in this bratty way’

I don't think that's a nice thing to say to a child, who is probably excited about tomorrow.

He sounds like a brat 🤷🏻‍♀️

They are just looking for a rise out of you.
Don't react to those posters .... prob brats themselves 🤓😜

You initially asked : Just looking to a bit of advice as I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not and need to check myself for being over sensitive!

Many if not most posters are saying yes you do need to check yourself - and your child.

It sounds like you didn’t really come on here for advice but only wanted others to agree with you.

his behaviour was a bit irritating and I myself told him to settle down a bit

That’s exactly the context in which I’d use the word. As in, stop being a brat, settle down and be quiet for a minute. I don’t see brat as a harsh or derogatory term. I’m also ignoring the Charli XCX definition.

Ah come on. He's a child. Looking forward to Christmas Day!

Absolutely not in my family.

I would be annoyed too OP tbh.

I like the PPs response along the lines of "he's tired and yes it's annoying but he is not a brat." Or wtte.

So a 10 year old is supposed to know better than to say they want to go home (depends how this was said / if they were rhyming on imo) but an adult doesn't know better than to call someone's child a brat? Nah, it was unnecessary from the adult there.

At 10 he does not get to decide when or indeed if you go home. To be told no and then to go on and on - yes that is straying into brat territory. You wouldn’t call it out so relative did.

At Christmas time often families spend more time together. He can spend plenty of time at hime before school goes back. At Christmas there is a fair amount of compromise and suck it up to do I am afraid! (Wait until he has in-laws one day that he would rather not visit!)

to the ones who say “he was being a brat” well actually he wasn’t.

Clearly your family member didn't agree with you. I suspect you have rose tinted glasses and are pissed as family member called it how it is.

Sounds like the adult was being a bit of brat themselves. I know who I'd give the pass to.

Not sure the OP has given enough information to suggest he deserved to be called a brat? Replies on here are getting so so weird

Hmm, people want a village but don't want a village

It's Christmas Eve, kids are allowed to be wired and excited 🎅🏼
If anyone called mine brats they'd be regretting it really really quickly
Merry Christmas to your family and especially your excited kiddo 🎄🎄🎄

He was being very rude

But as you don't seem to think so then he'll just carry on

He's 10 not 2

Maybe the adult had had enough?

Maybe the adult had had enough?

Maybe the kid had?

I was about to say the same! Brat is fairly minor in the scheme of things. Could have been called a cunting twat!

It happened this morning. Why would you excuse a 10 year old behaving badly on the grounds that he was tired, like a toddler?
Why would he be tired?