Baby left with grandparents for 4 nights. Worrying it will impact him!

[HEIHEI23]

Our 12 week old baby went for a sleepover at grandparents last night. This morning me and husband have come down with stomach bug/food poisoning and have been so ill all day. We are terrified about him catching it so my parents have agreed to keep him until Wednesday and then he will go to other grandparents until Thursday. This will then put us out of the 48 hour mark of being contagious. He has been going to their houses for sleepovers since 8 weeks old. This wasn’t through choice but because I was very very unwell with PPD. I’m so worried that I’m damaging his development by him staying out for 4 nights and he will think we have abandoned him 😞 he is our first baby and I hate the thought of him thinking we’ve just left him behind but I don’t want him to catch what we’ve had as it’s been absolutely awful and can’t imagine what it would be like for a little baby. Please reassure me he will be ok and won’t be traumatised by it all 🙈

Oh definitely! We’ve spoilt them rotten for Christmas as they’ve done so much for us since the baby was born. We’re so grateful for them and know how lucky we are!

Hi op , he will be fine lovely . I couldn't be with my 3rd really atall the first few weeks because of Postpartum Psychosis and was worried about similar
many in-laws were helping DP with baby .
My son is a little cuddle bug and real mamma's boy and still is at aged 9

its easily the worst thing I’ve ever lived through. We are definitely on the mend and can’t wait for our little one to be home. His grandparents have spoiled him whilst he’s been away so he might want to stay 😂

No, the reason for the baby being away is a vomiting bug, not PPD.

If that’s aimed at me, my DD wasn’t on a ward - we were in a private room. She didn’t catch covid and was admitted with me on the advice of medical professionals who knew a lot more than you about the situation.

Well my 12 week old baby had to go into hospital, had lumbar punctures, sedation, drips, mri's, endless prodding and poking. Now 12 years old and doing very well. Doesn't seem traumatised and has very normal levels of attachment. Your baby will be fine. Get well soon!

I know that’s the reason the baby is away. OP has ppd. She doesn’t deserve the idiots over reacting saying she’s harming her baby by leaving it with loving grandparents while she recovers.

@harrietm87 she has also had PPD which is why the baby is already comfortable staying with grandparents.

I really do think you should stop digging.

I didn’t “ship my baby out”. He was already staying out when we became unwell. My husband literally slept for the entire day yesterday and every time I stood up, the room would go black as though I was going to pass out. To me that’s not a safe situation to bring a baby back into! I really don’t need you making me feel like a bad parent because I’ve put his health first. I already feel guilty enough about him having to stay there without you piling the guilt on. I wouldn’t wish PPD on my worst enemy and I’m just grateful that grandparents have been able to support us and we’ve been able to stay at home rather than go into hospital.

OP you’ve done the right thing and I really hope that tomorrow morning after a good nights sleep and some toast that you feel much much better.

Honestly OP, you don't have to take criticism from people who prioritise their desire for baby staying close over their baby's health and safety.

You know what, I left my baby overnight at 3 months, not because of PPD or illness, but because I fancied a night out in London etc friends and my baby was perfectly safe and cared for without me.

You're doing the sensible thing and putting your baby first.

He'll be fine. In some cultures, it's normal for baby to have multiple care givers. Some babies are in NICU for weeks. Some have mothers who are ill physically or mentally and need hospital. These babies don't all grow up damaged.

Unless you're breastfeeding and worried about supply, don't worry and try not to feel guilty. Hell be okay.

Look OP, if you only wanted to hear people telling you you’d made an excellent decision you probably shouldn’t have posted on mumsnet.

Whether you extended your baby’s stay or sent them away when you got ill is irrelevant, really.

I remember trying to look after DC1 (who was about 11 months old at the time) when DH and I both had norovirus. DC1 was fine, but DH and I were so, so poorly, tag teaming using the loo and barely keeping DC1 safe and fed. It was easily one of the worst 48 hours of my life 😂 I would have jumped at the chance for grandparents to step in. You matter too OP and you will be a better mum if you allow yourself some time to get better. I feel DH and I are permanently low level sick over winter because it’s so hard to carve out time to rest with no family support!

But they are babies. They don’t automatically know what’s best for them.

I’m sure the baby doesn’t desire to become poorly. Potentially very poorly as he’s so young.

Also no idea why my post got deleted - I was repeating the advice given to me by doctors at the time that I was hospitalised, in response to a suggestion that I was somehow being selfish for following that advice.

I fail to see how that breached talk guidelines?!

I left mine overnight from 6 weeks. I fancied the break and grandparents were desperate to have him. The horror! 😂

I really think you need to leave this conversation now. Your comments are upsetting and it feels like you are set on making me feel like a bad mother for putting my child’s health first. Having been under the perinatal mental health team, two consultants both agreed him staying out with grandparents was in both mine and his best interest at the time.

The OP clearly has a much lower threshold for absolutely necessary than most people. Clearly not all people, but most

I mean, I was one of those mums who breastfed and coslept and was with their baby near continuously for the first 6 months. Despite this, I would absolutely class both parents shuttling between the bed and the toilet and very little else as an absolute necessary. In my case, we would have had to beg a grandparent to stay with us and risk norovirus, which completely sucks for them. What OP is doing is very sensible.

@HEIHEI23 you've definitely done the right thing by letting the grandparents care for the baby whilst your ill!

My youngest dd caught the bug so my other daughter went to her grandparents and I'm sooo glad she did! I caught it and so did my husband and its been awful!

Vommited every half hour for 2 days... No way would I have been upto looking after a small baby while feeling so rough!
Hope your on the mend now.

Look, I just disagree with you that you are putting your child first. I think you are putting yourself first here.

Unless the perinatal team told you what to do in the event of a vomiting bug, I’m not sure that’s particularly relevant here?

But I will leave the thread as it’s clear you intend to proceed as planned.