Baby left with grandparents for 4 nights. Worrying it will impact him!

[HEIHEI23]

Our 12 week old baby went for a sleepover at grandparents last night. This morning me and husband have come down with stomach bug/food poisoning and have been so ill all day. We are terrified about him catching it so my parents have agreed to keep him until Wednesday and then he will go to other grandparents until Thursday. This will then put us out of the 48 hour mark of being contagious. He has been going to their houses for sleepovers since 8 weeks old. This wasn’t through choice but because I was very very unwell with PPD. I’m so worried that I’m damaging his development by him staying out for 4 nights and he will think we have abandoned him 😞 he is our first baby and I hate the thought of him thinking we’ve just left him behind but I don’t want him to catch what we’ve had as it’s been absolutely awful and can’t imagine what it would be like for a little baby. Please reassure me he will be ok and won’t be traumatised by it all 🙈

Ah that's rotten. Your baby will be fine. You need to rest and get better and if you have people to help, then go for it!

Anyway, I’ve thankfully only had food poisoning once and although it was very unpleasant it was also short lived. Hope you feel better soon.

Washing your hands is kind of essential, yes…
You could make someone else ill handling food with shitty hands even if you didn’t have an infection.

What a lovely thing to say to someone who has openly said they’re struggling with PPD and hasn’t been able to eat all day. 👀 I absolutely hate the fact I’m away from him and am so worried about him hence the post.

This and he's used to staying with grandparents. Just think yourself lucky both sets of grandparents want to care for him.

We really are so grateful for their support! They’ve been amazing and we know we’re incredibly lucky

Oh gosh. I'd avoid bringing such a young baby back into a house where his two caregivers have diarrhoea and vomiting. If he does catch it, he will likely be really poorly and young babies with noro (if that's what it is) often require hospital admission.
He will be fine with the grandparents! Focus on getting yourselves well.

Well clearly. But particularly if you're harbouring salmonella or campylobacter.
So you can be at risk of spreading illness then can't you, as with all sickness bugs 😊

Babies need love, warmth, food, and sleep. Your baby will be getting all of that in abundance with their grandparents and when you are better they will get it all from you.

Sending you lots of good wishes for a speedy recovery @HEIHEI23.

Your baby will be fine with grandparents and when you're better you can bring him home.

I'm sorry there are some odd responses on here tonight. Ignore them.

You're doing great and it sounds like your first few weeks have been difficult enough already without having a bug or food poisoning xx

That isn’t necessarily a great thing to be honest.

I am not trying to make the OP feel bad but surely by now we know enough that ‘he won’t remember’ isn’t really a valid argument.

There’s always one.

He’ll be fine OP.

I feel awful that he has had to stay at grandparents to be honest. I had never ever planned on leaving him that early but was put on some very strong medication by the perinatal mental health team which meant I was unable to look after him at night. Luckily I’m doing a lot better now mentally and have been able to come off most of it.

Of course you are.

@helloooooutthere 'he won't remember' is not a good enough reason for lots of things... but it is a good reason for a child to spend time with grandparents when the mother is suffering from PPD which the OP has twice said she does. Well done for making a new mother feel even more awful

OP, rest up and know your little boy is being well looked after and will enjoy cuddles when he's back home

Well, that’s good. I think - and I am only being honest here - four days is too long. I am not in the school of thought that a baby needs to be surgically attached to its mother and I’d have bitten off the arm of anyone offering to have DS overnight as a baby but equally I don’t believe the dismissive ‘oh he’ll be fine, he doesn’t know / care / remember.’

He will be fine but he will both know and care and while he won’t consciously remember, he does need a stable bond as he will subconsciously remember.

What a stupid statement.
It is not going to do him any harm at all he is safe and being looked after. Better for him as you are not able to look after him yourself as you are ill

You don’t need to ‘well done’ me @NeighbourHitMyCar

The baby isn’t staying with the grandparents for four nights because of mental health problems, but for food poisoning.

It is worth mentioning that even when mothers are very unwell they keep their babies with them in mental health mother and baby units: there’s a reason for this.

I know all about mother and baby units as there was a space reserved for me at our local one when I was unwell. One of the things that meant me and the baby got to stay home was grandparents stepping in a couple of nights per week to help. This was agreed by the mental health team. I still feel guilty that I can’t do what seemingly everyone else can and look after their baby. I just want what’s best for him and feel awful that he could have to stay away for so long.

I stayed away from my parents for 2 weeks at less than a month old as my siblings had chicken pox and my parents wanted to stop me getting it.

I didn't know this until I was in my 30's, it's had zero impact on my life that I'm aware of and I've always had a very close loving relationship with my parents

Honestly, being a parent doesn't mean being a martyr. Even if it's not contagious, you feel awful. Give yourself chance to recover. Your baby is well cared for and will be fine.

Kindly, het a grip and focus on getting better. You are in no state to care for him anyway as you are too ill.
How many 16-18 year old do you know in youth offender units or off the rails or totally traumatized because they spent a few nights away from their parents? Which may happen for a number of reasons (hospitalisation, work trip, God forbid, holiday). He will be well cared for by his grandparents.

Oh give over @helloooooutthere

Children can happily and healthily spend time with their wider family, and do in real life. Only on MN is it normal for your 12 year old never to have spent a night outside the home.

This made me laugh thank you! Happy to know he won’t grow up into a hooligan when he’s older 😂

Don’t feel guilty. Just pointing out that babies aren’t hamsters or something where all they need is food and water and shelter.