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Original poster

Baby left with grandparents for 4 nights. Worrying it will impact him!

212 replies

HEIHEI23 · 16/12/2024 20:05

Our 12 week old baby went for a sleepover at grandparents last night. This morning me and husband have come down with stomach bug/food poisoning and have been so ill all day. We are terrified about him catching it so my parents have agreed to keep him until Wednesday and then he will go to other grandparents until Thursday. This will then put us out of the 48 hour mark of being contagious. He has been going to their houses for sleepovers since 8 weeks old. This wasn’t through choice but because I was very very unwell with PPD. I’m so worried that I’m damaging his development by him staying out for 4 nights and he will think we have abandoned him 😞 he is our first baby and I hate the thought of him thinking we’ve just left him behind but I don’t want him to catch what we’ve had as it’s been absolutely awful and can’t imagine what it would be like for a little baby. Please reassure me he will be ok and won’t be traumatised by it all 🙈

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TY78910 · 16/12/2024 20:52

He will be fine, I left DS for 5 days with ILs at 3m and he was having a great time. I think I missed him more than he missed me! 🤣

Porcuporpoise · 16/12/2024 20:53

SilverChampagne · 16/12/2024 20:14

Of course you can’t catch food poisoning from someone else Hmm
You don’t need to avoid him for four days, op. Just while you’re literally too ill to care for him, which is hardly likely to be four days.

Of course you can, if it's bacterial. Person A infects the food which then infects person B. But quite a few food poisoning bacteria can skip the food stage, they don't need the food, they need a host.

MikeRafone · 16/12/2024 20:53

Babies of this age are so egocentric I’m sorry to say they will not even notice you’ve not been around.

as long as they have food, warmth, cuddles and play they really don’t give a hoot who gives them all they need

get well soon

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IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine · 16/12/2024 20:54

Threeandahalf · 16/12/2024 20:11

Why would you not be able to catch it ? While you have symptoms you are infectious.

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Food poisoning isn't infectious...

ShadowsOfTheDays · 16/12/2024 20:54

helloooooutthere · 16/12/2024 20:51

Don’t feel guilty. Just pointing out that babies aren’t hamsters or something where all they need is food and water and shelter.

You know what, at 12 weeks, they kind of are! Their needs are met and they feel safe? Job done.

It gets more complicated the older they get, I found. But a portable three month old? Sure, have fun at Granny's!

Clearinguptheclutter · 16/12/2024 20:55

I’d def shuffle him around the grandparents until you are properly better. He will be fine and will not remember.

i remember having norovirus when dc was a baby and begging my parents to pick him up and take him away. I just couldn’t look after him. He was spoilt rotten and none the worse for the whole experience.

ForGreyKoala · 16/12/2024 20:59

SchoolDilemma17 · 16/12/2024 20:25

Can’t be that bad if she can post on mumsnet

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Don't be so bloody ridiculous!!! It's quite possible to be ill and yet type a message.

CanelliniBeans · 16/12/2024 21:01

They don't have separation anxiety until age 9 months. As long as he is fed and cuddled it won't matter. Get yourself well.

tealandteal · 16/12/2024 21:02

When my youngest was a bit older he got the stomach bug first and was sick all night. The next night we got a takeaway as we were so tired from being up all night. As it was on its way my eldest started feeling poorly and was promptly sick. So we cleaned him up and put him to bed. Takeaway arrived and we ate it, chicken tasted a bit funny so I didn’t eat that dish. DH ate all that dish. You guessed it we were both horrendously poorly. The baby however woke up the next day feeling amazing and we then had to keep him bush whilst feeling like death. Morale of the story, you baby will probably bounce back quicker than you. He won’t be scarred for life but perhaps pick him up tomorrow.

Teenagerantruns · 16/12/2024 21:03

Honestly baby will be fine, I had to go back towork when mine were not much older than your baby. They are healthy normal adults, even though they sometimes stayed with my parents for a week while l was working.

Ughn0tryte · 16/12/2024 21:03

That's far too long. Babies don't actually know they're a separate being for the first 6 months and they literally think someone's died if they don't come back.
Its very distressing for your baby and you. Bring your baby home, relatives can come and help with things in your home if needs be.

Stillherestillpraying · 16/12/2024 21:04

HEIHEI23 · 16/12/2024 20:50

This made me laugh thank you! Happy to know he won’t grow up into a hooligan when he’s older 😂

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Well he might haha but it won’t be because if the next 4 days 🤣🤣🤣

get well soon

Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 16/12/2024 21:05

So long as his basic needs are met, he will be fine op - just get yourselves well xx

Cathod · 16/12/2024 21:06

IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine · 16/12/2024 20:54

Food poisoning isn't infectious...

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Molecular Biologist here specialising in Medical Microbiology - food poisoning is contagious. Vomit and diarrhoea will harbour pathogens which can infectious other people.

RafaistheKingofClay · 16/12/2024 21:08

Ughn0tryte · 16/12/2024 21:03

That's far too long. Babies don't actually know they're a separate being for the first 6 months and they literally think someone's died if they don't come back.
Its very distressing for your baby and you. Bring your baby home, relatives can come and help with things in your home if needs be.

Oh give over

ShadowsOfTheDays · 16/12/2024 21:10

Ughn0tryte · 16/12/2024 21:03

That's far too long. Babies don't actually know they're a separate being for the first 6 months and they literally think someone's died if they don't come back.
Its very distressing for your baby and you. Bring your baby home, relatives can come and help with things in your home if needs be.

Um don't be ridiculous.

Stillherestillpraying · 16/12/2024 21:11

Ughn0tryte · 16/12/2024 21:03

That's far too long. Babies don't actually know they're a separate being for the first 6 months and they literally think someone's died if they don't come back.
Its very distressing for your baby and you. Bring your baby home, relatives can come and help with things in your home if needs be.

And what if the food poisoning or norovirus was so severe OP was in hospital(that happened to me with campylobacter)? Then the baby would have to stay away and it would be FINE.

harrietm87 · 16/12/2024 21:13

OP you asked the question - personally I think it is far too long to be separated from your baby, ill or not.

Parents get sick all the time. If you go on to have another child then your DC1 will be bringing germs home to your newborn constantly.

I have never heard of anyone putting their child in someone else’s care for days at a time because they were ill (PPD is different I accept - but I think you are saying that this is due to D&V, not PPD). I have no idea how it would affect your baby but tbh no one does. Might be fine might not. He’s not able to tell you.

Tourmalines · 16/12/2024 21:13

Ughn0tryte · 16/12/2024 21:03

That's far too long. Babies don't actually know they're a separate being for the first 6 months and they literally think someone's died if they don't come back.
Its very distressing for your baby and you. Bring your baby home, relatives can come and help with things in your home if needs be.

rubbish .

ShadowsOfTheDays · 16/12/2024 21:14

Ughn0tryte · 16/12/2024 21:03

That's far too long. Babies don't actually know they're a separate being for the first 6 months and they literally think someone's died if they don't come back.
Its very distressing for your baby and you. Bring your baby home, relatives can come and help with things in your home if needs be.

<Puts a fiver on the baby in question contentedly snoozing at Grandma's right now>

ShadowsOfTheDays · 16/12/2024 21:15

harrietm87 · 16/12/2024 21:13

OP you asked the question - personally I think it is far too long to be separated from your baby, ill or not.

Parents get sick all the time. If you go on to have another child then your DC1 will be bringing germs home to your newborn constantly.

I have never heard of anyone putting their child in someone else’s care for days at a time because they were ill (PPD is different I accept - but I think you are saying that this is due to D&V, not PPD). I have no idea how it would affect your baby but tbh no one does. Might be fine might not. He’s not able to tell you.

And what would this being 'not fine' look like then? A four day separation from the primary caregivers to the secondary caregivers? What immediate, mid, long term impact will it have?

Or are you just spouting unfounded nonsense at a woman who is mentally struggling?

ProfTeeCee · 16/12/2024 21:16

Ughn0tryte · 16/12/2024 21:03

That's far too long. Babies don't actually know they're a separate being for the first 6 months and they literally think someone's died if they don't come back.
Its very distressing for your baby and you. Bring your baby home, relatives can come and help with things in your home if needs be.

'they literally think someone's died if they don't come back'

What on earth are you talking about!!!? Please point me towards the research that suggests this! 🤣🤣🤣

harrietm87 · 16/12/2024 21:18

ShadowsOfTheDays · 16/12/2024 21:15

And what would this being 'not fine' look like then? A four day separation from the primary caregivers to the secondary caregivers? What immediate, mid, long term impact will it have?

Or are you just spouting unfounded nonsense at a woman who is mentally struggling?

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My babies were visibly distressed when parted from me for more than about an hour at that age - they cried inconsolably and wouldn’t settle.

Admittedly I was exclusively breastfeeding which I assume the OP isn’t.

But I’d love to know how you can confidently say that the baby wouldn’t be distressed by it. We just don’t know.

12 week olds are not like vegetables, unaware of who is caring for them.

helloooooutthere · 16/12/2024 21:19

I think there’s a middle ground here. It’s perfectly fine to accept sometimes life happens, people get unwell and so on, obviously.

But it’s equally absurd to claim that you can give a newborn to anybody, it won’t matter, no big deal. I mean, people do know this isn’t true, surely? (Don’t they?)

Original poster
HEIHEI23 · 16/12/2024 21:20

helloooooutthere · 16/12/2024 21:19

I think there’s a middle ground here. It’s perfectly fine to accept sometimes life happens, people get unwell and so on, obviously.

But it’s equally absurd to claim that you can give a newborn to anybody, it won’t matter, no big deal. I mean, people do know this isn’t true, surely? (Don’t they?)

Oh I absolutely agree! I would never leave him with someone he doesn’t know well or that I don’t completely trust. Both sets of grandparents have been minding him once a week for the past 4 weeks due to my mental health medication so they’re very used to his routines. Ironically he tends to sleep better at their house than he does with us 😂

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