4 year old son has asked for fairy wings and wand for Christmas

[Jenb1993]

Our 4 year old son has asked for a fairy wand and purple fairy wings for Christmas. My husband is not impressed and has said we need to stop him watching ‘Ben and Holly’s kingdom’ as this is clearly where he has got the idea from and we can not get him this for Christmas.

He has asked for three things this Christmas. A fairy wand, fairy wings and a police car. He wakes up in the morning telling me how excited he is for Santa to come and how he has been dreaming about getting a wand and fairy wings.

My husband tried to tell him that girls are only fairy’s and he should ask for dragon wings but our son doesn’t understand and desperately wants fairy wings.

I personally don’t have a problem with this, I love his imagination and I know that it’s just a phase. He really thinks this is what Santa will be getting him.

Just wanting some opinions and advice on how I should approach this with my husband.

Your husband is being a jerk. My son loved to slop around in a pair of my stilettos and his sisters pink frilly tutu at that age. He loved to dress up as Elsa or Anna from Frozen.
He's turned out just fine and has absolutely no confusion about his identity.

Make your boy happy and get him his Christmas wish.

Same here. Ridiculous and depressing attitude. If you had a DD who wanted dragon wings would he be telling her no they're for boys get fairy wings? I suspect not...

Hubby is being unreasonable but let's not repeat homophobic myths . No actual physical evidenced studies have proven the cause of being gay or trans FFS! Not giving your child the toys they want is unreasonable but wouldn't cause trauma I don't think. Otherwise we would all be fucked. Most of us didn't get Mr Frosty after all!

Fairies don't reproduce asexually so clearly boy/man fairies exist.

Your DH is nuts, of course there are boy fairies!!! Please get him the wings and wand OP, bless him.

Reason 5937362548 that I'm eternally glad I don't have a husband.

My son had a favourite pair of tights aged 6-8.

He's fine.

I think you should tell your husband to stop being a sexist bastard and that you'll be buying the fairy wings and wand regardless. Ask him if he's scared your son is going to be recruited as the tooth fairy and have to leave home? Because otherwise I'm unclear what hes worried about and I think you should make him spell it out

I do like this!

I think it's fine really.

We allowed it at that age, although DH unimpressed. He'd forgotten all about it by the time he was in the rugby team 😂

I personally don’t have a problem with this, I love his imagination and I know that it’s just a phase. He really thinks this is what Santa will be getting him

Don't let him down then. You get it.

I had a colleague whose young son wanted a Barbie for Christmas. Parents never got him one so they ended up with a sobbing, upset child on Christmas day.

Get the wings and let your H have a pissy christmas, not your son.

The Angel Gabriel is actually male, despite schools generally casting pretty girls in this role.

Tell your DH you’re getting the Angel wings and wand for your son. I’d get the glitteriest, pinkest, most sparkly ones too.

To the pp who posted nob. A nob means someone who has wealth or a high social position rather than a knob aka bellend. I see this here all the time wrongly spelled.

Ugh. Your husband is awful. Of course you should get the boy his wand and wings.

Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom is awesome.

My son also had fairy wings and a wand during the Ben and Holly era.

1. Don't buy the actual B&H wand with batteries in it, it is heavy enough to hurt and says annoying things - get a more traditional stick/glittery ribbon combo wand instead.
2. Despite this phase lasting for months, my son now has no memory at all of it, or the wings, or the wand. He vaguely recognises the cartoon as something he has seen before but assumes we know it super well because we must have watched it as children!

My first nephew at 4 was into cars, dinosaurs and wwe - now an adult with pink hair and a boyfriend.
Second nephew at 4 wouldn’t leave the house unless dressed as Elsa - just joined the army and is a bit of a “bro”. They will be who they will be and who cares either way.

I have three boys and ensured they had a wide range of toys as I was concerned that they would only be given stereotypical toys. My eldest loved Upsy Daisy, my middle son's favourite colour was pink and the youngest adored Frozen. They have also loved Star Wars, Nerf Guns and last year had a boxing bag. They are all now well-balanced, caring teenagers.

I think the saying is unless you operate the toy with your genitals then it is neither a boys or girls toy (and if you do operate it with your genitals it is definitely not a children's toy)

I think the fairy wings and wand are fine.

However, I think many posters are overcooking how misplaced your DH's views are - they are not worthy of ridicule, although maybe his views are not fully formed.

Although these particular interests are of no real consequence (in my view), I can see how some parents would be nervous. Sex and gender in society is less well defined than ever before and I would have objections if there was more serious exploration of identifying with the opposite sex. That's not to say the best reaction is to suppress it, but you could make an argument for not encouraging it or being party to it.

Maybe your husband is neither misogynistic nor homophobic as some have suggested.

It would seem too aggravating to go ahead and do it despite your husband's wishes. What happened to parental co-operation? There should at least be a grown-up conversation about it.

Just buy the wings and wand. Is your husband worried that your sons sexuality is going to be majorly impacted by the magic of fairy dust? I would be more worried by the police car. Hardly useful role models.

Ignore your husband. Buy your son what he wants. Have a strong discussion with him.

When I was pregnant with our second baby I bought our son a buggy and doll. H was not impressed. 21 years later he's shown himself to be a shit father.

Get the fairy wings and the fairy books petal and nettle. It features both boys and girls as fairies!

Your husband is being ridiculous!

Get the wings , as a mum of a 18 year old and 19 year old men and auntie to 10 nephews they all go through this type of thing wether it be wanting a dolly to dressing up to wanting a pink toy or drawing all over there faces with makeup it does more damage trying to stop them or shaming them for it they are children need to let him be one it doesn't matter if he's a boy your husband needs to put the ego and toxic masculinity aside and allow him that freedom

over 20years ago my ds asked for an ironing board . (He got one )
Not sure he has used one since mind you lol
Works on large machinery and has a girlfriend and doesn’t wear make up.

Just listing above as I bet these are all the things that your dh thinks your ds won’t do if he wears fairy wings at home.
He’s a small innocent child . It’s adults that fill
kids heads with what’s right and wrong.

Your dh need to stop with the nonsense .

Tell your dh to keep his silly opinions to himself and let your child be a child.

I got my daughter this for Christmas - it is indeed the B&H influence. But I also got her a black and decker toy tool station and a hot wheels set she wants… they’re still babies and haven’t attached silly stereotypes to this stuff yet. Tell your ‘D’H to get a grip.

I had this back and forth argument with my parents growing up about the toys I wanted to play with, I didn’t understand then and I still don’t understand now, but I know one thing it all came from the adults, kids didn’t care what toys were played with, until their parents started influencing them. I was a sort of toy bisexual in the 1980s, I wanted to play with them all. But my parents fears that I would grow up gay were, well they were actually realised, because it turned out I was gay 😂, but it had NOTHING to do with inanimate objects and everything to do with nature, it’s predetermined!

Maybe a compromise would help? Perhaps a Harry Potter style wand rather than a fairy one ? Angel wings instead of fairy wings? bat wings (he could choose then to play at being Batman or a fairy?)

I love this ❤️ 😂