4 year old son has asked for fairy wings and wand for Christmas

[Jenb1993]

Our 4 year old son has asked for a fairy wand and purple fairy wings for Christmas. My husband is not impressed and has said we need to stop him watching ‘Ben and Holly’s kingdom’ as this is clearly where he has got the idea from and we can not get him this for Christmas.

He has asked for three things this Christmas. A fairy wand, fairy wings and a police car. He wakes up in the morning telling me how excited he is for Santa to come and how he has been dreaming about getting a wand and fairy wings.

My husband tried to tell him that girls are only fairy’s and he should ask for dragon wings but our son doesn’t understand and desperately wants fairy wings.

I personally don’t have a problem with this, I love his imagination and I know that it’s just a phase. He really thinks this is what Santa will be getting him.

Just wanting some opinions and advice on how I should approach this with my husband.

My dog is named after Queen of the Fairies 🧚‍♀️ and says of course you must get the wings! Edit: Google says she’s just an ordinary 🧚‍♀️, not a Queen 🫅, but the order still stands- get the sparkly wings!

dh is wrong. everyone in fairyland knows -purple winged-= boy fairy.
Tell him to shut up and let him be a child. He is not making a sexual preference,choose gender reveal statement. he is a kid,being a kid. the end.

So sorry to hear your husband has such an outlook on things, would give me the proper ick.

Sounds like he needs a pair to match your son’s. At least you now know what to get them both; Christmas is sorted!

He is 4 he wants to play dressing up. Get him the fairy wings. Sadly it will be all too soon before he will be influenced by peer pressure. Let him enjoy these years.

Ask your husband if he thinks your DS will turn into a girl if he wears pink and carries a wand, and if so, has he considered going back to school to learn some biology.

Don't listen to DH.Buy the wings and the wand.

I agree with your DH. I bought my DD spider man pyjamas and a scalextrix set .... she now has a girlfriend. I can only blame myself 😁

So your husband is ready to ruin his son's Christmas because of his own stupid prejudices on what boys and girls should have/be/like? What a dickhead.

Buy the wings and ditch the husband

Or get him a copy of the film Tooth Fairy starring big, muscly, straight actor Dwayne Johnson and tell him to grow up

My son used to dress up in a tutu, leg warmers, sweat band and a t-shirt! This was after he found my 80s fancy dress costume. He loved it!

Of course he should have them . My son loved them at that age too. Soon grew out of it. Honestly your husband is being ridiculous. It's all about imaginative play.

The My Little Ponies are. Radical feminist collective, definitely. Don't know about their sex lives but I assume they are lesbians. Friendship is Magic.

We've gone full circle, though. We're past the days of toys being for all and there being no such thing as girls'/ boys' toys. Now it's worse - boys playing with girls' things means that 'well meaning' people start talking pronouns and ' being born in the wrong body'. It's now scary.

My husband is a matcho army man type man and we got our sin age 4 a pink peppa pig kitchen and he was into frozen. Now our son completely denies this ever happened and that we ever sung along for hours to Let it go... anyway, at this age or any age then it really doesnt mean anything that theyre into toys that are not typically for their gender. But, if your husband feels strongly can you find a 'boyish' version of fairy wings, surely amazon has some that are not completely pink for example. Maybe there is a happy medium. Tell your husband they are wizard wings or something. Theres got to be a way not to turn this into a big issue where the reality is in a few months they will be gathering dust or broken anyway !!

Tell your husband he is being very unreasonable!

www.amazon.co.uk/Zacs-Alter-Fancy-Glitter-Butterfly/dp/B07Z8BS1LQ/ref=asc_df_B07Z8BS1LQ?mcid=4863b95fc2623867b73b877345908b17&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=696350735922&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4128900939939060083&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006553&hvtargid=pla-842496612206&psc=1&gad_source=1

So my parents had it all wrong buying me a range of toy cars when I was your DS's age...?

OP, buy those wings and the wand. Kids are only little for a short time, let them enjoy this freedom from convention while they are small enough to get away with it.

The boys at nursery loved fairy wings and princess dresses. I don’t suppose they are all gay now.

Gendering toys is so weird. My son is getting a dolls house for Christmas and my mil made a silly wee face when we told her. I’d be pretty disgusted if my partner was so obviously sexist, it would probably be a deal breaker for me

This. At this age, my son also wanted a pushchair, and also loved dressing up in his sister's Frozen dressing up outfits, especially the long gloves (absolutely loved those).
I never had any doubts about him, was obsessed with cars and lego alongside this. And this being 2015 (at the time), went with the flow.
Fast forward to now, he is the absolute typical teenage boy, obsessed with rugby and cricket and refuses to wear anything remotely pink (to my annoyance!).

Just give him what he wants - try and find wings that are more purple than pink if it bothers you that much... but it really shouldn't. Tell your DH to grow up. It's this that is going to be damaging to your son, if his father makes him feel he is 'weird'.

Is this your husband?

That's a bit of a reach. Maybe on Threads, but I have literally never heard a RL assertion to this effect (especially since most kids would play with a mix rather than exclusively same/ opposite sex designated)

Remember this also:
https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/adele-letting-her-son-dress-as-disney-princess-anna-is-a-triumph-for-us-believers-in-genderneutral-parenting-a6884471.html

I always thought she was brave (not sure i would have dared do this publicly), but she was bang on!

O ffs get the poor boy the wings and wand, boys can be fairy’s too. Tell your DH to grow the fuck up.

Agree with this.
Usually there is a bit more going on then just playing with the ‘wrong’ toys before pronouns are mentioned 🤨

Start calling your husband the wise old elf that he won't have any of that m word (magic) in your lives.

His out of date attitude would give me major ick.