4 year old son has asked for fairy wings and wand for Christmas

[Jenb1993]

Our 4 year old son has asked for a fairy wand and purple fairy wings for Christmas. My husband is not impressed and has said we need to stop him watching ‘Ben and Holly’s kingdom’ as this is clearly where he has got the idea from and we can not get him this for Christmas.

He has asked for three things this Christmas. A fairy wand, fairy wings and a police car. He wakes up in the morning telling me how excited he is for Santa to come and how he has been dreaming about getting a wand and fairy wings.

My husband tried to tell him that girls are only fairy’s and he should ask for dragon wings but our son doesn’t understand and desperately wants fairy wings.

I personally don’t have a problem with this, I love his imagination and I know that it’s just a phase. He really thinks this is what Santa will be getting him.

Just wanting some opinions and advice on how I should approach this with my husband.

tell you husband to get a grip and buy the fairy wings !

Get your son the wings and wand....and get your husband a matching pair so he can play fairies with his son and get over his toxic masculinity, what a knobber.

Wonder how your dh would have managed with my three sons in a shoe shop. The ‘so called girls’ shoes were always so much more enticing than the boring blue brown and black shoes on the ‘boys’ side.

It is so hard to give credence to this in 2024!

Your OH would have had a fit if he could have seen my GS at about 3, naked but for fairy wings and his sister's play high heels!

Your husband sounds like an ignorant arsehole. Is there a child-friendly version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream you could get? I bet your son would love Puck.

Rubbish . Our sons loved playing with fairy stuff. And trucks etc. Can't boys be Harry Potter then?

Gosh you must be mortified to be married to such a dinosaur. Does he think your son is going to catch gay from the glitter? If he does then you need to find out now how that's going to play out if your boy comes out in a decade.
The wings stay. The husband on the other hand...

I didn’t realise fairies were a radical lesbian collective.

My EX husband was the same when my 2 year old boy wanted a pushchair. I bought the pushchair anyway, he used to put all his cars in it. He's 24 now, with a girlfriend (not that it would matter if it was a boyfriend)

I'm most worried about the subconscious influence your husband is having on your son's sense of self worth. At that age they are just developing their sense of self - "who am I / what kind of boy am I / am I a good boy?" - and your husbands words and attitude to him could really shake him and teach him not to pursue his own likes and dislikes and ultimately not to trust his own feelings.

Please please educate your husband before the damage is irreversible.

My 3 year old boy has fairy wings and a wand. “stolen” from his older sister. He also asked for pink sandals (wanted the same as his sister) and has a pink onesie. So far I can’t say it has affected his masculinity. Your husband is an idiot.

I'd picture in my mind how happy my son would be playing with his fairy wand and then I'd buy it and tell my husband to grow up.

oh my god please do this OP

🤣🤣🤣

I'd ask why he's so keen on reinforcing gender stereotypes on your child.
If he's worried this is an early sign of potential homosexuality he's not going to stop your son growing up gay by avoiding watching kids TV programmes. He might however be driving home a message that it's only ok to be male in a certain way.
I'd be pretty unimpressed if I were you.

How to approach it with your husband?!
Simple husband stop being a sexist idiot if he wants wings he can have wings and get your mind out of the 1960s!

I have 2 DS's they dress up in whatever they like from superheros to tutus and they both put my shoes on! It's dress up doesn't mean anything.

Aw ffs. I would be very disappointed in my husband if he reacted this way. And I'd buy the biggest most glittery pair of fairy wings I could find.

I love this answer !! tongue in cheek I was going to respond with, "the fairies bring them of course!!" 😁😂

Ltb. And ask yourself why on Earth you had children with a sexist twat.

My kid was constantly dressing up in his Elsa dress when he was four. DH had no issue with this but MiL's face when she witnessed it was an absolute study.

He's now ten. He doesn't dress up in an Elsa dress anymore, and hasn't for years.

Gender stereotyping, together with the pinkification trend, has become increasingly more polarised over the last two decades. I suspect it's partly that which has contributed to the current level of teenage angst over 'gender'.

I didn't buy into it and still don't. Your DH is being very unreasonable.

sometime when my child was not in the same building, my husband and I would be having a very serious discussion about his antiquated ideas. Linking toys or clothing to sex is not healthy.

then I would buy my son giant, sparkly, purple wings.

Both my sons (3 and 6) asked for (and received) wings and wands for their recent birthdays! My 6 year old is also the proud owner and occasional wearer of a princess dress, which he loves... along with his superhero and knight costumes etc. This is the age of make believe!

My brother used to borrow "my" dressing up clothes when we were little. I used to borrow his. We're both well adjusted adults.

Your husband's a prick. Your son sounds awesome.

Also, fairies aren't all female. Anyone who has read, eg, the Court Of Thorns & Roses books will be very aware that there are some very, very, very manly winged faeries out there. Here's Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel...

i.pinimg.com/originals/fb/22/31/fb2231444d4904e495ec6535afb1ec49.jpg

Some dick in a dentist surgery said my son's would turn gay if he played with the dolls anymore. I just ignored the twat and didn't point out it was more likely to make him a decent father (gay or otherwise).

This has just reminded me of being in WH Smith years ago and seeing a small boy asking his dad to buy him a pencil with a cat on it. He said, "You can't have that, it's pink" and the boy's lower lip just trembled and the dad walked off, kid hurrying to catch up.

He didn't even know or care it was pink, he just wanted it because of the cat.

I still feel bad for him.