What to do when all grandparents want to be called the same name??

[Fluffyted]

Hi,

We're due to have our first baby in January.

We had a family get together on the weekend with my family & my in-laws.
The topic came up about what all the grandparents wanted to be called - both my dad & FIL want to be called Grampy and both my mum & MIL want to be called Nanna.

So now I feel like we are in a little predicament as calling them all the same name is surely going to be confusing for a child?

My MIL & FIL already have a grandchild (our nephew) so they've been called Grampy & Nanna for years already - so want to keep that the same with their next grandchild.

Since we told everyone we were expecting, my mum originally said she wanted to be called Nanny & my dad said "he didn't care" (in a nice way, just he wasn't bothered) so I thought great, we don't have to worry!
🙈

So, anyway that conversation went down like a lead balloon with everyone just awkwardly looking at each other before the subject got changed.

I only had 1 grandparent growing up l, as all my others had passed away before I was born, so I didn't have an issue with naming grandparents.

My partner thinks we should just call my mum "Nanna X" & my Dad "Grampy X" and his parents "Nanna & Grampy" as that's what they are called by our nephew.

I suggested this to my mum - she hates the idea and just wants to be called Nanna.
My MIL is also firmly against the idea of being called Nanna X.

So, what do people normally do in this situation?
I know it's hardly a big issue or problem but I thought I'd ask and hopefully get some help!

Use their names as part of it, we had Granny X and Granny Y, they were referred to as this, when we were physically with them we just called them granny.

Grampy Jim and Grampy Paul and Nanna Pat and Nanna Lou is the only fair way to do it.

Say do that, or pick another grandpa / grandma name.

Tough tits. If they both insist on being Nanna, then they have to be Nanna X and Nanna Y. X and Y can be first or last name. Or they can choose not to be Nanna. It's the only logical way to sort it.

We have a similar set up and it's not a problem. When they are present, use just Nanna & Grampy for both sides. When they're not they're Nanna x and Grampy X and nanna Y and Grampy Y to make it clear who were referring to

Your child will work out who is who. Or they will invent their own variations (my friend's son calls his grandfather "Grandad Beard" for example), which the grandparents will not object to if they've come from the child :) Really not worth worrying about.

This. Don't worry about this OP- you just refer to them as nanna/grampy x and y and they'll accept it in time. I've had the exact same situation and that's what we did. It's not fair for them to impose this on you and expect you to have a magical solution

Dc adapted their names so we had grandad cows and grandad fish for a while, then grandads cows got rid of the cows so became grandad chickens (he had chickens). I have no idea why my dad couldn’t be grandpa like his dad but we wanted them to be happy with their names.

I'm a paternal GM and there's a maternal one as well. We both wanted to be called Nanny, so that's what happened! We're "the nannies". The nannies are here!
Friends of mine are called "Grumps" and NannyAnnie". Maybe try to find another acceptable name for your parents?

Grampy? Are they both in their 90’s?
Sounds like something from the Beverly Hillbillies.

I had granny in York and granny in Swindon. Though I’ve changed the place names…

Use their name or their town if they live in different places - eg Grampy London and Grampy Edinburgh- and then just use Grampy when you’re with them.

If they still kick up a fuss tell them to stop being so silly.

We had this well sorted of. There were already grandchild on both sides and both mums were known as grandma.

We use grandma x and grandma y, they may not love it but both had to just get on with it and be grown up about it. That or choose a different name.

I would suggest both have there first name added to keep it 'equal' but other than that just let them fuss for now.
This is the type of thing they will fuss over while you are pregnant but a few years down the line all will be used to it.

It's useful not to be able to know which is which when toddler starts saying 'no like granny' as you can always say they mean the other one

Well you need some distinguisher if they all want the same names.
Katie Morag has Grannie Island and Grannie Mainland.

You could have Nanna Dad and Grampy Dad, Nanna Mum and Grampy Mum.
The Dad and Mum bits only need to be used in conversation if you need to be clear, and otherwise just use Nanna and Grampy.

It is your parents' issue to resolve really. Either they all need a suffix, or your parents need to choose different names.

How often will they all be in the same toom together? When talking ABOUT our grandparents they were Grandma and Grandpa X and Grandma and Grandpa Y if needed eg ‘this present is from Grandma and Grandpa X’. When talking TO them, in their presence, either set were just Grandma and Grandpa.

Mind you, DS took matters into his own hands and called his grandfathers ‘Big Grandpa’ and ‘Little Grandpa’…. which one was amused by and the other hated!

If your parents are too stubborn to change, then they get to be Grampy X, Grampy Y, Nanna A and Nanna B.

It's not exactly going to be often the grandkids will have both their Nannas in the room, so in their presence they can be just Grampy and Nanna.

It doesn't matter. If they are in the room and are the only GP there then they are just Nanna/Grampy and everyone knows who you're talking about. If they aren't there and you're talking about them in the third person you can clarify with surnames or relation (so I sometimes say to DC "it's Grandad's birthday tomorrow. Grandad my dad not Grandad Daddy's dad"). It's not a common enough event to be an issue.

If they are all in the room together then they'll just have to be alert to looking up any time a child says "Nanny" and see who the child is addressing.

It's a non-issue.

In fact, we DS has 2 grandfathers and 2 great grand fathers who all share the same title and he has always managed using just their title when they're with him and adding their name when he's not.

Weirdly, the only person that he calls their title + name all the time is his great grandmother, who has a title that isn't used for anyone else

Yup, they can be Nanna and Grampy to their faces, but when you're referring to them to differentiate add their names in - "we're going to see Nanna June and Grampy Ian today"

Of course they might not always get their choice, my dad always tells me his Grandparents wanted to be "Grandma and Grandad Surname" but ended up as "Granny Red Door" and "Granny Blue Door" because of the colour of their front doors!

One of my cousins named one "Nana New" because she was younger. That didn't go down well with her other granny!

My kids have a Grandma and a Nanny, but when I was younger I had a Grandma Firstname and a Grandma other Firstname. Would they prefer that to Grandma Surname.

Resolve this by having the children use their first name in addition to their title when they’re with you.
When they’re with the grandparents, they just call them Nanna and Grampy.

I'd just call both sets Nanna and Grampy.

Add either their surname (or first name, if that's what they prefer) on the occasions where you need to specify which one you mean

OMG, poor Nana Old! 😂

My uncles first grand child had two nanny smiths , my uncles wife and his mother. So one was nanny Smith in the town and the other was nanny Smith in the country and that stuck then for the grand kids of all my uncles.