What to do when all grandparents want to be called the same name??

[Fluffyted]

Hi,

We're due to have our first baby in January.

We had a family get together on the weekend with my family & my in-laws.
The topic came up about what all the grandparents wanted to be called - both my dad & FIL want to be called Grampy and both my mum & MIL want to be called Nanna.

So now I feel like we are in a little predicament as calling them all the same name is surely going to be confusing for a child?

My MIL & FIL already have a grandchild (our nephew) so they've been called Grampy & Nanna for years already - so want to keep that the same with their next grandchild.

Since we told everyone we were expecting, my mum originally said she wanted to be called Nanny & my dad said "he didn't care" (in a nice way, just he wasn't bothered) so I thought great, we don't have to worry!
🙈

So, anyway that conversation went down like a lead balloon with everyone just awkwardly looking at each other before the subject got changed.

I only had 1 grandparent growing up l, as all my others had passed away before I was born, so I didn't have an issue with naming grandparents.

My partner thinks we should just call my mum "Nanna X" & my Dad "Grampy X" and his parents "Nanna & Grampy" as that's what they are called by our nephew.

I suggested this to my mum - she hates the idea and just wants to be called Nanna.
My MIL is also firmly against the idea of being called Nanna X.

So, what do people normally do in this situation?
I know it's hardly a big issue or problem but I thought I'd ask and hopefully get some help!

Just let them. I had 2 Nannys and 2 grandads. When we referred to them we said Nanny (Surname) but when we spoke to them we just said Nanny.

When I was a child my Nans were all Nan and we just added their initial of their surname to it to distinguish between them, but only when talking about them rather than speaking to them IYSWIM.

We had Grandad/Granny Bristol and Grandad/Granny Scotland! Do t remember quite how that started, but it lasted us a lifetime 😀

Kindly you are worrying about nothing.
Your DC will not be confused.
They will call them nanna/grampy to them and in their absence you'll say Nanna X.
Or the kids will come up with their own names.
My Mum used to say she never wanted to be a Granny as it sounded ancient yet Granny was what DD called her.

We had the same issue and then FIL changed his mind and wanted to be called “Grumpy”…

…no idea why anyone would choose that over all other lovely options.

having two grandads would have been much better!

That's just your perception. I was surprised when MIL wanted to be Granny when she became a GM at 38 because to me a Granny was old but that's because the woman I called Granny was actually my great grandmother.

But they'll have to be Nanna Clare, Nanna Sarah, Grampy Simon and Grampy Mark or whatever DC choose, which may or may not be preferable. Eg if they pick something like Fat Nanna, Short Nanna, Grampy Big Nose and Grumpy Grampy.

Indeed. Also, OP, I wouldn’t waste too much energy on it. My parents and PILs had some UN-type summit about what they were all going to be called, but DS from toddlerhood called them all by shortened forms of their first names anyway, and wouldn’t budge on it.

I now can’t remember what everyone involved wanted to be called.

For fuck sake. Childish bunch.

Let the pair who already have those names keep them.

The other two need to find different names.

This is about the kids, knowing who's who and how they fit in the family. Not about them.

We had all different names for two sets of grandparents and one great grandmother, and different ones for later generations have appeared, including Granny & Gasser (!)

Totally clear.

Is this even unusual?? I had 2 nannys and 2 grandads, and now so does my little girl. We just use their names? Nanny Jane and Nanny Alice, Grandad Pete and Grandad Simon.

Ours got something associated with them. So Nanna Puss and Grampy Puss because DCs favorite thing about their house is the Puss. Used when talking about GPs. So we are off to lunch with Nanna and Grampy Puss. But when together, just Nanna and Grampy. Other side Nanna and Grampy cakes, because they always eat home made cakes when they visit. Only time the descriptor is used is when eveyone is together at the same time at large family gatherings. Works well.

My best friends children have a big grandma and a little grandma as they are different heights!

One of my grandmas was Grandma surname, the other was Grandma village where she lived. The children will probably choose their own way of distinguishing which one they mean.

We did add the town for elder ones, too! (I'm talking six generations in my life now ...)

My partner thinks we should just call my mum "Nanna X" & my Dad "Grampy X" and his parents "Nanna & Grampy" as that's what they are called by our nephew.
I suggested this to my mum - she hates the idea and just wants to be called Nanna.
My MIL is also firmly against the idea of being called Nanna X.

But when they're actually with your DD, they'd both just be called Nanna anyway? It would only be when you speak about them when they're not present that you use their names to differentiate?

It's weird that it's even a discussion tbh, they can't ban you from using their names!?

I don’t get the big deal, when I was younger we all called both sides granny and granda. Most people didn’t have unique grandparent names just for the sake of it.

😂😂 I thought this too

Just called them their names but add the initial, we had nana beck and nanna Su Su, similar with the grandads

As others say, when with them physically there (if just one) refer to them as nanna. When you need to distinguish between them then refer to them by nanna and their name i.e. nanna Kate for example or nanna Jane. My sister does this with my nephews and is not an issue at all.

I know you have said the parents are against using names but what else are they expecting you to do? Say to them that is the option nanna X take it or leave it as you are not going to pick favourites like you are in the school playground or otherwise they choose another form of nanna/nan/grandma etc. that they want you to use.

We have a "Granny Rabbits" (my mum) and a "Granny Fish" (husbands mum) as they have those animals at their house! Children aged 3&1 know who we talking about.

As a child we had Nanny X and Grandad X and Nanny Y and Grandad Y. To their faces we just called them Nanny and Grandad in the same way that it is no big deal to have two friends with the same name. It was a total non-issue, it couldn't have been less of an issue. No wonder people find life stressful if they have to have more than one conversation about what to call grandparents or if the grandparents in question care about being referred to by the same name as the other grandparents. It really, really doesn't matter.

I’m Nana dogs name when she’s talking about me(!) 🤣🤣🤣

When we were younger we always used Granny surname for both, my granddad's had passed, & we just used grandad & granny for my kids (my parents) ,grandad on dad's side is passed, my mom is passed but my sons knew her so called her granny, & granny on dad's side lives on the other side of the world so we don't really get mixed up

My kids had a Grandajim and a Grandabob (not their real names).

We just call them grandma or grandad when we’re speaking to them, and then to distinguish between them one set we use their surname and the other are ‘grandma and grandad trains’ because they live by a train line.

Agree, to their faces they're just Nanna and Grampy.

And when you're talking about them then you just use names, or other was to differentiate - my kids have two grandfathers called Grandad and they're Grandad On The Farm and Grandad in [City] when you're needing to differentiate. No different to having two friends called Finn.

Though if yours is the first grandchild they might come up with their own names/pronunciations when they're learning to talk - my mum is known to all 7 grandkids by the name my eldest started calling her when he was 18 months or so.

I had 2 Grandmas, but on one side it was Grandma and Grandad, and the other side was Grandma and Grandpa. So as couples it was easy to distinguish, but the women needed differentiators.
We went for the very snappy 'Grandma that knits and sews' and 'Grandma with a bone in her leg'.

To this day I have no idea where the bone-in-leg thing came from, and the irony was the 'knits and sews' GM was well known in the family for being completely awful at all things crafty but once sewed a set of Christmas placemats and knitted some napkin holders. The other GM was a talented seamstress!

My husband still talks fondly about Grandad Up The Tall Steps. I have seen the steps in question, there are about six of them 😂.