What to do when all grandparents want to be called the same name??

[Fluffyted]

Hi,

We're due to have our first baby in January.

We had a family get together on the weekend with my family & my in-laws.
The topic came up about what all the grandparents wanted to be called - both my dad & FIL want to be called Grampy and both my mum & MIL want to be called Nanna.

So now I feel like we are in a little predicament as calling them all the same name is surely going to be confusing for a child?

My MIL & FIL already have a grandchild (our nephew) so they've been called Grampy & Nanna for years already - so want to keep that the same with their next grandchild.

Since we told everyone we were expecting, my mum originally said she wanted to be called Nanny & my dad said "he didn't care" (in a nice way, just he wasn't bothered) so I thought great, we don't have to worry!
🙈

So, anyway that conversation went down like a lead balloon with everyone just awkwardly looking at each other before the subject got changed.

I only had 1 grandparent growing up l, as all my others had passed away before I was born, so I didn't have an issue with naming grandparents.

My partner thinks we should just call my mum "Nanna X" & my Dad "Grampy X" and his parents "Nanna & Grampy" as that's what they are called by our nephew.

I suggested this to my mum - she hates the idea and just wants to be called Nanna.
My MIL is also firmly against the idea of being called Nanna X.

So, what do people normally do in this situation?
I know it's hardly a big issue or problem but I thought I'd ask and hopefully get some help!

Ugh, I had this growing up (both sets of grandparents were called Grandma and Grandpa) and we just referred to them as Grandma Name-of-House etc when they weren’t present, and just Grandma (or Grandpa) when they were there.

I was adamant my children wouldn’t have the same but lo and behold my MIL insisted she must be Granny because that’s what her slightly older grandchild was going to call her. She was well aware that my mum was very keen to be Granny because of her own beloved Granny who she lived with when she was little. MIL’s older grandchild was only born a few months before our eldest so she could easily have asked to be called Grandma or Gran, but didn’t. So we ended up with two grannies and have to refer to them in two different ways to avoid confusion. The grandfathers sensibly picked something different each. My MIL is usually lovely and very considerate so I’ve no idea why she wouldn’t be in this instance as she had no real preference over what she was called before either of the grandchildren were born. The only thing I can think is that the other grandchild is the offspring of her ‘golden child’ and by extension they get everything they want without challenge.

in your circumstance I would explain to your parents that the other grandchild of your PIL already calls them Nanna and Grampy so they (your parents) can either pick something else or they can be Nanna X and Grampy Y when they aren’t there and just Nanna and Grampy when they are there.

We just use the same names. Our boys are the youngest of the grandchildren so we just carried on with the names the other grandchildren use. We have a Nan and Grandad and a Nanna and grandad. If we need to differentiate between the 2 grandads then we just use first names or a distinguishing feature so we have Grandad Michael and Grandad Dave or doggy grandad as they have dogs. It’s never caused any confusion with our kids. Obviously when we’re with them they just call them grandad it’s only really when we’re talking about which we’re going to visit that we use their.names.

why would it be an issue? I grew up calling my 2 nans 'nan' and my 2 grandads 'grandad' . If I wanted to differentiate i used their names after the nan or grandad.

Just it being the insisted-upon choice of a, presumably, at least middle-aged adult, when it's a child's way of saying 'grandpa'.

Both of my sets of grandparents were called Nana and Granddad, and it never caused any confusion. If we were talking about one of them, we'd add their surname - "We're going to Nana and Granddad Smith's for tea".

Follow by using first names. If you think that is a problem, you are in for a shock.

@AloneLike I've never thought of it as "child's way" of saying Grampa.
Do you think "Granny" is childlike too?
It's a perfectly normal name for grandfathers.

My daughter has 5 nans and a grandma and they are all called nanny (name),
4 nans and 1 grandma are all actively in her life who she sees weekly/bi-weekly

same here, but I always counted myself old fashioned 😆

I think you're overthinking this- my daughter has two mummies, and both of us are called Mummy. And she lives with us all the time.

My son used to calling one Nana Cat and the other Nana Chocolates buttons.

I called both sets the same and it's really not an issue. I would precede with dads or mums if any ambiguity but their really isn't. My dc call theirs the same name except their dads parents have names added

I don't see a problem. I had "Nana and Grandad Smith" and "Nana and Grandad Jones". Didn't cause any confusion or issues, let the GPs be called what they want!

I'm not saying they're unusual variations, just that they are children's versions of the names so it's odd to hear adults making big thing of being called by them, especially as the child hasn't even been born yet. You'd expect the grandparents to leave it to the children to decide what 'pet' version of the names to use, if any.

@AloneLike I seriously never thought of them as children's versions of the names though.
Whatever name is used from the beginning is pretty much what sticks.
So a Grampy is a Grampy whether the grandchild is 5 or 55.
The names don't suddenly change when the grandchild turns 18.
At least not in any families I know.

I had a ‘big’ nana (tall) and a little nana (short). Big grandad name came with the nana names as little grandad was way taller.

My dad wanted to be grandad-he gets yaya. Their other grandad is actually just Bill…

I can't see what the problem is.

I had 2 grannys and 2 grandads and called them all that.

In conversations about any of them, if context didn't make it clear who was being referred to, we'd add the first name, IE granny Mary.

Absolutely no issues.

Let people be called whatever they want.

It wasn’t confusing for me growing up. I had grandparents and great grandparents who went by the same names. They’re different people, and your child will learn that and have their own way of differentiating between them all.
I’m due in a few weeks, and mine will have three Grandmas, two Pops, and two Nannys.
i dont think it’ll be a big deal tbh.

My DS has 3x grandpa and 2 x nanny. He calls them that to their face, but when I talk to him about them, I say "nanny and grandpa with Barney (their dog). Or grandpa who lives at number 6. Or nanny and grandpa who lives at number 11. He's knows who is who.

"both my dad & FIL want to be called Grampy and both my mum & MIL want to be called Nanna."

How old are these stampy feet kidults?

Just let them all be called Nanna and Grampy. Bunch of bloody stupid muppets.

Our mums both wanted to be granny. When the oldest two came along, they called my mum gran and husbands mum granny first name. The kids may very well choose their own variation despite what everyone wants or uses

Perfect, it's not a difficult problem, and this is a simple solution..

Absolutely, my mum had a budgie, so she was nanny dickybird, and my mil was nanny paddy (an old family nickname).

I called both my grand parents nana and papie. They were never any confusion, never used their first name for distinction, all my siblings and first cousins did the same.