What to do when all grandparents want to be called the same name??

[Fluffyted]

Hi,

We're due to have our first baby in January.

We had a family get together on the weekend with my family & my in-laws.
The topic came up about what all the grandparents wanted to be called - both my dad & FIL want to be called Grampy and both my mum & MIL want to be called Nanna.

So now I feel like we are in a little predicament as calling them all the same name is surely going to be confusing for a child?

My MIL & FIL already have a grandchild (our nephew) so they've been called Grampy & Nanna for years already - so want to keep that the same with their next grandchild.

Since we told everyone we were expecting, my mum originally said she wanted to be called Nanny & my dad said "he didn't care" (in a nice way, just he wasn't bothered) so I thought great, we don't have to worry!
🙈

So, anyway that conversation went down like a lead balloon with everyone just awkwardly looking at each other before the subject got changed.

I only had 1 grandparent growing up l, as all my others had passed away before I was born, so I didn't have an issue with naming grandparents.

My partner thinks we should just call my mum "Nanna X" & my Dad "Grampy X" and his parents "Nanna & Grampy" as that's what they are called by our nephew.

I suggested this to my mum - she hates the idea and just wants to be called Nanna.
My MIL is also firmly against the idea of being called Nanna X.

So, what do people normally do in this situation?
I know it's hardly a big issue or problem but I thought I'd ask and hopefully get some help!

They might not have a choice! My mum insisted on being called Nana and her first born grandchild called her Nanny from being a toddler and it just stuck!

Literally what we did when we were kids and ironically one side of the family is Jones! Only we were Nana and Grancha on both sides (with the exception of my Dad's side as his father passed away when my father was a teenager).

Call them whatever they like to their faces; by the time the baby started talking there’ll probably be something completely different. Our first couldn’t pronounce ‘Grandma’ so we ended up keeping her cuter version, then as the years went on they started calling them things based on what they associated them with - the child will probably come up with something!

I honestly think parents blow this sort of thing waaay out of proportion and get ridiculously hung up on it. Kids really don't care if they call both sets the same name - I haven't come across a child yet that has been confused by it

My DH is Welsh and his 2 sets of grandparents were Nain and Taid. To their face they were called Nain and Taid but when talking about them they were referred to as (eg) Nain a Taid Conwy and Nain a Taid Pwllheli so using location to differentiate

my mum calls herself Nannie which works fine for my kids but my sisters child has another nannie on his dads side. So they are called Nanny Jane and Nanny Claire for example. but to their face just nanny. I think you’ll just need to do something like this. And they’ll have to get over it

I’d just call them nanny and Grampy with the kids when you’re with them and but refer to them as eg nanny and Grampy Jones or grandma Jenny when you’re talking about them.

The grandparents wont be there to hear you say that anyway.

My son used to call my grandma, ‘grandma biscuits’ as she used to always get the biscuit tin out!

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We always called ours Nanny Surname - to them in person but when referring to them. I don’t think even if they are all in the same place at the same time it really matters.

I taught a child who had Grandad Shed snd Grandma Wheelbarrow. I thought it was lovely as he obviously had happy times on their allotment.

Both sets of grandparents are being very unreasonable. Nanny X and Nanny Y and Grampa X and Grampa Y is the only fair way to go. My DGC have 4 sets of grandparents because I remarried and exh has a long term partner. We are Nanny or Grampa followed by Christian name. It works fine. I think my DGC may refer to me as ice-cream Nanny sometimes too.

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I don’t think the OP was asking for your opinion or approval 🙄

We have Grandma Dorset and Grandma Essex - all fine. (Not really Dorset and Essex but similar!)

It won't be a problem for years, until they can talk. So until then you just call them the names they want to be called. If they mention it again you just say, 'yeah, that's fine you can be called Nanna'. If they asks what happens if child is confused then you just say you'll cross that bridge if you come to it.

When child asks 'which Nanna' there will be something at the time that makes sense to differentiate. We use the dogs names e.g. Rovers Nan or Rexs Nan. We didn't make it up, the kids did - whatever makes sense to them at the time. They don't call them that to their face, only if they're talking about them.

The dogs died and we still use the same names 😆😆

I also absolutely understand them not wanting to be known as 'nanna firstname'

Our family doesn’t do cutesy, chosen names. We just have Grandma X and Grandpa Y. There is no confusion.

Maybe the OP could suggest her mum is nanny new as her mil is already a nanny....lead balloons and all that 🤣

I agree with the previous posters who have said that kids often invent their own distinguishers. I had one Gran and one P*ssy Gran (because she had cats obvs!) 😂 Ah the innocence of youth!

We had Nana Jane and Nana Maggie. When we were in the room alone with them it would be just nana. If we were talking about them it would be Nana name. Same with the previous generation. Never been an issue.

Grampy Brian and Grampy Bob. Nanna Kate and Nanna Daisy. Simple

Not RTFT but from my experience, the grandchild(ren) will ultimately set the names! Mine have ‘Nanny Caravan’ and ‘Nanny Bristol’, Grumps and GG - all from nicknames / jokes / experiences they have with them over time ☺️

Kids love good grandparents. They never have any difficulty distinguishing them or learning the names if you use them all the time.

Both my parents and in-laws are Granny and Grandad. They all had grandchildren before DD was born so we just call them Granny X or Y but when she's with them, she just calls them Granny. She's 5 now and there is no issue.

We called our grandparents Nanna + surname, Grandad+ surname. My grandkids do the same but with our first names. It's really not difficult.

Append any of surname, forename or where they live.

We have a Grampy too. Don’t be snooty about it. We had the same situation and one is referred to as Grandma and the other as Granny P*. I’m not sure she is happy about it as she always signs herself grandma but she has been a lot less hands on than actual Grandma!