What to do when all grandparents want to be called the same name??

[Fluffyted]

Hi,

We're due to have our first baby in January.

We had a family get together on the weekend with my family & my in-laws.
The topic came up about what all the grandparents wanted to be called - both my dad & FIL want to be called Grampy and both my mum & MIL want to be called Nanna.

So now I feel like we are in a little predicament as calling them all the same name is surely going to be confusing for a child?

My MIL & FIL already have a grandchild (our nephew) so they've been called Grampy & Nanna for years already - so want to keep that the same with their next grandchild.

Since we told everyone we were expecting, my mum originally said she wanted to be called Nanny & my dad said "he didn't care" (in a nice way, just he wasn't bothered) so I thought great, we don't have to worry!
🙈

So, anyway that conversation went down like a lead balloon with everyone just awkwardly looking at each other before the subject got changed.

I only had 1 grandparent growing up l, as all my others had passed away before I was born, so I didn't have an issue with naming grandparents.

My partner thinks we should just call my mum "Nanna X" & my Dad "Grampy X" and his parents "Nanna & Grampy" as that's what they are called by our nephew.

I suggested this to my mum - she hates the idea and just wants to be called Nanna.
My MIL is also firmly against the idea of being called Nanna X.

So, what do people normally do in this situation?
I know it's hardly a big issue or problem but I thought I'd ask and hopefully get some help!

Both me a husband referred to our Grans by their surnames so ‘Gran Smith and Gran Jones’

Don’t over complicate it the children work it out for themselves. My MIL wanted Nanna but my children ended up calling her Nanny regardless as that was what they called my Mum - we just add letter of the first name when not in around them.

My parents and dh dad and stepmum are Grandad and Grandma. It's literally never caused any confusion. When we're with the grandparents we say Grandma/Grandad when we're not we say "today we're visiting Grandad surname" or "Grandma surname knows a lot about baking, we should ask her" or I'll say "my mum/dad" and they know who I'm talking about.

Eh, this.

its not difficult is it?

And if they are occasionally ll together they are all just going to have to accept their name being added.

This isn’t even a first world problem. Stop pandering.

We used the location - Gran and Granda Paisley and Gran and Granda Bearsden then Gran and Granda when we were with them

I agree. Your child will figure out their own names to distinguish. My grandad became panda (a mixture of grandad paddy) and a grandmother became dotty grandma as her name was Dorothy. It's actually more fun to let their names just evolve.

My friend said that she would never be called ‘Nanny’ as nanny was the help. Made me laugh.

If your Mum doesn't want her name used as in Nana X then would she be happy with Nana cuddles, & tell her it's because she gives he best hugs? or MIL Nana huggles? My Grandson has Me & Husband, DIL Mum & Partner & DIL Dad & partner & we all get called something different. I'm Nana which I love being called. My Grandsons little cousin from DIL Side of the family calls me it too.

Not at all, just add their names? Nanna Smith, Nanna Jones. Pr nanna Bet and nanna Ivy? My grandparents were nannas and granddads.

My mum is Nanny then I became a Nanny - MIL was also Nanny it never confused my grandchildren as if my grandchildren spoke about us at home it was Nanny XY & Z but in our presence we were all just Nanny, same with all the Pappy’s. No child is going to call them nanny XYZ whilst with them it’ll be just nanny.

My DS had great grandparents too. DGP opted for;

Nanny (fruit name)
Grandma
Grandma (First name)
Grandpa my DF. FiL sadly passed.
Nanny (surname)
Grandpa (first name).

Some decided by direct convo of DGP with DS.

Good luck.

i had 2 nanny and Grandads growing up… They were Nanny and Grandad (surname) and nanny and Grandad (other surname) … I’ve also heard children call their grandparents nanny from (insert village) or nanny (insert Christian name!

If they don’t like that idea then the parents or inlaws that already have a grandchild get called the name their grandchild already calls them and you don’t give the other parents a choice… you tell them that nana and Grampy is already fake so they have to be nanny, grandma or Granny… Gramps, Grandpa or Grandad….. tell them they are making it unnecessarily stressful and they either choose a different title or you’ll be using either their first names or surnames after Nanna & Grampy …. If they don’t agree you just call them what you want the child to call them and that’s the end… they’re being ridiculous.
my parents already had 5 grandchildren when my DD was born so they took the grandma and grandpa titles and the other grandparents were just told that
that Title was taken but could be called anything else they like. My brothers in laws were in the same boat… they had to choose a different title as my DB & SIL we’re giving her parents their first DGC whereas by then it was my parents 7th…

Just message the ones without grandchildren already and say manna and Grampy is taken,
can you chose from
Nannie/Nanny
Grandma
Granny/Grannie etc
If they insist on Nanna say ok, but you will be either Nanna Margaret or Nanna Smith.. if they like neither of those options you just say … ok you’re going to be addressed as nanny .. sorry (not sorry)
my aunt insisted she was nanny despite us all referring to my nan as nanny….. they then got called (by the kids) big nanny and nanny….. my nan decided very quickly to be referred to as granny.. 😂
or if they still insist on having same titles call them nanna in new castle and Nanna in London (or whatever) or tall Nanna and short nanna….

My grandparents were both Nanny and Grandad when talking to them, but at home we’re known as Nanny and Grandad(surname) to differentiate between the two.
My ex mil insisted on being called Nanny (first name), which meant my mum needed to be called in the same way, which really grated on her , but she went along with it.

We have grandma/nanna X for great grandparents

mine have three sets of grandparents so have ended up with two grandads who have ended up as grandad with hair and grandad without hair 😂

although before this it was easier to tell them apart as it was always nanna and grandad or nan and grandad

I never understood women wanting to be called nanny - the name of a servant. There was initial confusion with DGS no 2, but name was attached, but now one is Grumpy grandad, which began as Grampa (but is quite a good fit😂). But my DD called me nanny to her two until, aged 3 my DGD told her in no uncertain terms that I was Grandma not nanny - because my DGS no 2 (her cousin) told her so. You cannot make it up! It may cause confusion with the cousin if different names are chosen

I don't think having the same name is a big deal. But I'd they're all adamantly against that, then it's the GPs who don't have grandchildren yet who will have to pick a different name.

Your precious DC may end up calling them something completely different anyway!

Let them be called what they want. Your kids will know who is who just fine and without confusion. They'll reference them otherwise if they need to.

We were lucky in that my mum was already nanny and mil was already Nana by the time our kids came along. Both dad and fil were grandad and the kids easily spoke about all of them both in and out of their presence. They reference them by things they know or do with them. Even now, with my parents both passed away, I know when they're talking about my dad or fil just from the conversational context.

When it came to writing Xmas and birthday cards/tags, my name went first on those for my dad. DH's name went first on those for his when gifting from the kids. It saved confusing gifts.

I never understood women wanting to be called nanny - the name of a servant

It's not in that sense though is it, Nanny is surely a diminutive of Nana which is well known for grandmother.

Also I think a childcare nanny these days would like to be called "employee" rather than "servant"!

My children have / had

Grandad (whose name is Steve) DH Dad
Grandad Steve (whose name is also Steve) (My step Dad but is still my childrens Grandad)
Grandad (my Dad) whose name evolved to "poorly Grandad", before he passed away 6 years later.

This has never cause any issues.

Between me and my husband we have 3 uncle David's and 3 uncle Andrew's, which also doesnt cause us any issues (who my children also refer to as uncle Andrew / uncle David)

This is not a big deal.

We named them after associations rather than names, so 'cat granny' and 'dog granny' etc

Can anyone help me with this I am Nan to 2 precious kids I adore obviously they call me Nan but my daughter in law lets my grandkids call her neighbour Nan as well which really hurts when we were kids we called neighbours or friend auntie which is fine and I being unreasonable should I say something or just ignore it