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My Mum sold a car that isn’t legally hers?

284 replies

Lilly1102 · 25/11/2024 09:54

Last year my Mum gave me my late grandmas car (she legally transferred ownership to myself). She inherited it but never drove it as she has her own car and it was just sitting on their driveway doing nothing. I am an only ‘child’ and my grandma really did adore me and would be so pleased I learnt to drive in her car.

i’m 25 so was a late learner. I insured the car, taxed it etc. When I passed my test my partner bought me a more ‘stylish’ car for Xmas. He pays for the tax and insurance on that one so I decided to continue paying for the car I learnt to drive on for a year just to get some no claims and also my younger cousin learnt to drive in it with my uncle so I thought I may as well insure it.

my cousin is now done with the car , my Mum has decided she wants to sell it. I asked her very politely if there was any possibility I could get a very small percentage of the car sale (ie £300) just because I’ve paid £1400 for the car over the year even though I never drove it.

I asked out of principle because legally it is actually in my name etc, it wasn’t about the money, i just asked to see if my parents actually ever considered my opinion or asking me.

my mum has never put any money into that car as my grandma bought it and my mum never drove it even when it was her name (I think she SORNed it).

It took so much courage to ask her as my parents are VERY ‘funny’ with money and I was right to be scared because she phoned me back SCREAMING down the phone telling me she needs the money for the car sale.

she screamed and cried and said ‘I don’t live in the world she’s living in’ (she assumes because I work in finance that I am some rich bitch) which is SO far from the truth.

I’d like to emphasise that my parents live in a 5 bed detached house with a large garden in the Home Counties with NO mortgage. My father is retired and although my mum doesn’t work (she’s also close to retirement age) they are hardly hard done by. Me and my partner on the other hand (although we are also not hard done by) we don’t own a house and we more a less live pay cheque to pay cheque most months.

her reaction really stunned me. It stuns me because they’re so critical of my boyfriend’s father who recently inherited a relatively large sum of ££ from a house sale. My parents think he is selfish for not giving my partner any money for a house deposit from it and they always tell me that if they had spare money they would give it to me.

me and my boyfriends view is that it’s his fathers money - he can spend it on what he likes but my parents have such a double standard because whenever I ask for any help (not on a large scale at all) they quick up a huge fuss.

was I wrong for asking? Like I say, I don’t want the money but I’m more hurt at my mums reaction given her beliefs about other people’s attitudes towards their money! They’re so judgemental about everyone else and as soon as I ask (which I never do because even growing up I was met with reactions like this) it turns out to be a huge drama.

OP posts:
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Alicecatto · 25/11/2024 12:54

Mickey79 · 25/11/2024 12:45

Well I think your parents are cheeky. Mum ‘gave’ you the car which you then insured and taxed for a year as your dad told you it would be a good idea. During that time a different family member used the car to learn in, whilst
you paid for it! You’re not unreasonable to ask for a share of the sale. Your mum sounds unhinged, screaming and carrying on because you asked for a few hundred quid. Rather than worrying they haven’t been in contact with you, be glad that you have a break from the crazy. I wouldn’t have apologised either.

Me too. Crickey, over £300? Op, you are being told NEVER to ask your parents for any money if you get a screaming match over that. Just don't ask for their financial help in future in anything and let them hoard their funds. The business about them upset your boyfriends's father won't give you money for a house deposit is because they don't want to help you out. Don't count on a penny from them, honestly.

Projectme · 25/11/2024 12:55

Good grief OP. Lesson learned; never ask your parents for any financial help/assistance in the future!

Her reaction to your request for £300 is completely OTT. ridiculous. (as was her reaction to you moving out 🙄)

Obviously a misunderstanding has occurred, you thought because the V5 was now in your name, you were the legal owner of the car, which as other PP's have said, you are not so she is free to do whatever she wants with the car. She's reacted to your request as though you've set their house on fire on purpose...you've apologised so all is square.

I wonder, if she or your dad, or your cousin ever went to use the car more recently and it didn't start or it conked out during a journey, would your Mum have come knocking on your door to ask for the money for the repairs or would she have paid herself? 🤔

Lucy377 · 25/11/2024 12:58

It sounds like Money is a bit 'thing' in your house.

Do you constantly play the 'poor mouth' with your mother and maybe she does the same.

That means, you often bring up the subject of money and how everything is so expensive. Then your Mum feels sad and guilty that you keep complaining about not having enough money, but doesn't understand if you guys are so poor why can't the rich Dad help you out?

Why would ask your Mother for money if you are a grown adult with a job?

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Lilly1102 · 25/11/2024 13:00

holrosea · 25/11/2024 12:32

Hi OP - you're taking a lot of flack here but I just wanted to say that fro my understanding of your post, it's not about the car so much as your parents' talk/actions around money, and you feeling like they have not consulted you.

Maybe your mum is the legal owner of the car, but if someone said they had "given" me a car I would also understand that to mean given. If it was a loan, they would specify that they are lending me their car. Also, if you have paid insurance/tax/repairs in that time, it sounds very much like it is your car in practice, if not legally speaking. Asking for a small proportion of the sale sounds like a practical consideration in recouping money spent, and as you stated in your OP, testing the water to see if your parents considered you in the decision to sell it.

I can understand that if you used the car, insured it, leant it to your cousin, etc., that being told unilaterally that it is being sold feels like the rug being pulled from under your feet.

FWIW your mum's reaction is completely batshit. If I asked for something my parents can't give, or find cheeky, they'd say "we can't do x because", "or we're surprised you've asked for x because". I can't imagine them shouting and screaming down the phone for me asking for something, even if they thought IABU.

Also, I hear that you're confused because publicly they say they'd love to help you financially and criticise others with more money who don't help you. Here is an opportunity for them to sub you 300 quid yet they are screaming blue murder.

If you can make your peace with it, I'd just try to filter out anything they say about money/helping. You and your partner are clearly on your own financial path and doing what you can to build a life/lifestyle, stick to this and think of it as tending your own garden. Don't go looking over the fence at what they're doing, and if they stick their noses over to say how you should water your plants, politely thank them for their opinion and continue doing the thing that suits you best.

Yes you have summed my views perfectly - better than I can explain it! Yes I think that’s what we’ll do and next time they mention anything financially I just won’t get involved and certainly won’t ever ask for anything again! Thank you! X

OP posts:
PrimoPiatti · 25/11/2024 13:01

BilboBlaggin · 25/11/2024 10:04

If your mum inherited the car then it's legally hers. Transferring the log book into your name only makes you the registered keeper, not the legal owner (there's a difference). If you purchased the car off her then it would be yours.

Correct.

Rosscameasdoody · 25/11/2024 13:03

BilboBlaggin · 25/11/2024 10:04

If your mum inherited the car then it's legally hers. Transferring the log book into your name only makes you the registered keeper, not the legal owner (there's a difference). If you purchased the car off her then it would be yours.

OP clearly says her mum gave her the car because she had no use for it. And if OP has registered the car in her own name as the owner, then it’s legally hers, not her mother’s.

Shade17 · 25/11/2024 13:09

And if OP has registered the car in her own name as the owner, then it’s legally hers, not her mother’s.

Nonsense. There is no register of ownership in the UK so not sure where you think she’s done that.

AnonymousBleep · 25/11/2024 13:12

Lucy377 · 25/11/2024 12:58

It sounds like Money is a bit 'thing' in your house.

Do you constantly play the 'poor mouth' with your mother and maybe she does the same.

That means, you often bring up the subject of money and how everything is so expensive. Then your Mum feels sad and guilty that you keep complaining about not having enough money, but doesn't understand if you guys are so poor why can't the rich Dad help you out?

Why would ask your Mother for money if you are a grown adult with a job?

She thought it was her car - being the legal owner - therefore that's her money.

And plenty of grown up children get financial help from their parents to get on the housing ladder, because most young people these days don't earn enough to be able to live independently and also save for a deposit. This is hardly breaking news.

MargaretThursday · 25/11/2024 13:15

I suspect that there's a lot of back story here which the op isn't giving.

I mean, if my parents had let me have a car to learn to drive in, I'd got another car, and a good job so no worries about finances, and they'd then said they were selling said car, even if I'd thought it was a gift, I wouldn't have considered asking them for a cut. I'd have thought how knd they were to lend me a car to learn to drive in.

But the op says that they're funny about money and she was nervous about asking. So it makes no sense that she asked.

One of my siblings can be a bit funny about money and expecting more in a situation where someone has been generous, even though they're well off. That means that they tend to get firmly told to back off much quicker than the rest of us because otherwise they're like a dog after a bone.
They're then very indignant that they "just asked" and "surely it was reasonable .." and "parent was so rude...".
I suspect there's something similar here.

Frith2013 · 25/11/2024 13:17

housethatbuiltme · 25/11/2024 12:33

No its not, as long as you say they are the main driver its perfectly legal to insure someone else on your car... you don't even need a license to own a car and take insurance.

The OP said she had insured it to keep (or grow) her no claims.

To then lend the car to someone else so they drive the majority of the time - that is fronting.

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 25/11/2024 13:18

MarvelJesus · 25/11/2024 11:41

Normally money would change hands so you would have a receipt from the seller saying it’s been sold to you on x date for x amount. That is proof of ownership. I guess for a gifted transfer you’d write an equivalent, signed document saying it was transferred from x ownership to y on x date, with signatures.

Really....because I ahve sold and part exchanged many cars and never had to show anything beyond the V5. Defo not a receipt!

Frith2013 · 25/11/2024 13:18

The OP wasn't the main driver. She has never stated in any of her posts that she was.

https://www.moneysupermarket.com/car-insurance/what-is-car-insurance-fronting/

Rosscameasdoody · 25/11/2024 13:23

Shade17 · 25/11/2024 13:09

And if OP has registered the car in her own name as the owner, then it’s legally hers, not her mother’s.

Nonsense. There is no register of ownership in the UK so not sure where you think she’s done that.

If you gift a car to someone you can have ownership transferred to them by informing the DVLA. You can then transfer ownership either online or by post by completing the DVLA form with the details of the new owner along with the 11-digit reference number from the car’s V5. After submitting the form both you and the new owner will receive an email confirming the transferring of ownership has been completed and the DVLA will send a new V5. OP said that her mother had given her the car, so I assumed she had registered as the new owner.

SchoolDilemma17 · 25/11/2024 13:24

AnonymousBleep · 25/11/2024 13:12

She thought it was her car - being the legal owner - therefore that's her money.

And plenty of grown up children get financial help from their parents to get on the housing ladder, because most young people these days don't earn enough to be able to live independently and also save for a deposit. This is hardly breaking news.

£300 won’t help her get on the housing ladder.
She sounds entitled.

SchoolDilemma17 · 25/11/2024 13:27

Did she give her mum money for the car? No she expected her to give her part of inheritance for free, then wanted to cash in on it.

Shade17 · 25/11/2024 13:27

Rosscameasdoody · 25/11/2024 13:23

If you gift a car to someone you can have ownership transferred to them by informing the DVLA. You can then transfer ownership either online or by post by completing the DVLA form with the details of the new owner along with the 11-digit reference number from the car’s V5. After submitting the form both you and the new owner will receive an email confirming the transferring of ownership has been completed and the DVLA will send a new V5. OP said that her mother had given her the car, so I assumed she had registered as the new owner.

Edited

The DVLA do not know or care who the owner is. The V5C has nothing whatsoever to do with ownership and merely details the person who is responsible for taxing the car and where parking tickets etc should be served. The normal way to prove ownership is with a receipt.

HotCrossBunplease · 25/11/2024 13:29

Your thread title is confusing, has she actually sold the car yet?

BusyCaz · 25/11/2024 13:30

BusyCaz · 25/11/2024 12:27

No, money does not have to change hands for someone to be the legal owner of a car:

Transferring ownership: You must legally register the transfer of ownership with the DVLA even if no money is exchanged. You can transfer ownership by:

Completing a form on the DVLA website

Selecting "sold it" in step 2

Providing the 11-digit reference number from your V5C

Providing the new owner's name and address

Completing sections 6 and 8 of your V5C document

Sending the completed V5C to the DVLA by post

After a very quick google................

Once more

No, money does not have to change hands for someone to be the legal owner of a car:

Transferring ownership: You must legally register the transfer of ownership with the DVLA even if no money is exchanged. You can transfer ownership by:

Completing a form on the DVLA website

Selecting "sold it" in step 2

Providing the 11-digit reference number from your V5C

Providing the new owner's name and address

Completing sections 6 and 8 of your V5C document

Sending the completed V5C to the DVLA by post

Lilly1102 · 25/11/2024 13:34

HotCrossBunplease · 25/11/2024 13:29

Your thread title is confusing, has she actually sold the car yet?

yes they sold it as someone in their village really wanted the car for their daughter - from what they told me (before I asked) they sold the car for WELL over market value at £2,000 just because the guy really wanted it. That’s why when I suggested £300, I really didn’t think it was unreasonable.

but yes my misunderstanding about the log book, when she gave it to me she said the car was MINE which is why I was just a little shocked when they said they were selling the car. My principles: if I give something to someone (especially a fam member) I wouldn’t then suddenly claim ownership again and then sell it for way over and then react so badly if my daughter asked a question.

guess it goes down to values - I am not a greedy person. I shouldn’t have asked at all because maybe even asking made me look greedy. It was all just a shock

OP posts:
Anywherebuthere · 25/11/2024 13:37

You're 'stunned' by her reaction after you asked for money as a way of testing her?

Where she lives or what her financial situation is, is irrelevant. You know what your parents are like about money. You don't need the money so why even start something that has led to your mum reacting the way she did.

MarvelJesus · 25/11/2024 13:38

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 25/11/2024 13:18

Really....because I ahve sold and part exchanged many cars and never had to show anything beyond the V5. Defo not a receipt!

Then you’re lucky nothing has gone wrong. My family restores cars so has them coming and going frequently. Always cover yourself by giving and receiving receipts.

Good example of how V5 =/= ownership: my dad had company cars for 40 years. All V5s were in his name, but he never owned one of them, they were all owned by the companies.

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 25/11/2024 13:42

BusyCaz · 25/11/2024 13:30

Once more

No, money does not have to change hands for someone to be the legal owner of a car:

Transferring ownership: You must legally register the transfer of ownership with the DVLA even if no money is exchanged. You can transfer ownership by:

Completing a form on the DVLA website

Selecting "sold it" in step 2

Providing the 11-digit reference number from your V5C

Providing the new owner's name and address

Completing sections 6 and 8 of your V5C document

Sending the completed V5C to the DVLA by post

Thankyou! This needs pinning to the top for everyone to understand! 😆

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 25/11/2024 13:44

MarvelJesus · 25/11/2024 13:38

Then you’re lucky nothing has gone wrong. My family restores cars so has them coming and going frequently. Always cover yourself by giving and receiving receipts.

Good example of how V5 =/= ownership: my dad had company cars for 40 years. All V5s were in his name, but he never owned one of them, they were all owned by the companies.

Edited

But Ive not had a V5 for a lease or company car. Ever

MarvelJesus · 25/11/2024 13:44

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 25/11/2024 13:42

Thankyou! This needs pinning to the top for everyone to understand! 😆

Have you looked at a V5C?

My Mum sold a car that isn’t legally hers?
MarvelJesus · 25/11/2024 13:47

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 25/11/2024 13:44

But Ive not had a V5 for a lease or company car. Ever

Not for a lease car - lease companies remain the keeper. If your company leased a fleet vehicle the same would apply. My dad’s companies used to buy their vehicles outright. The company then made the drivers the keepers (small businesses, no admin staff) so the drivers could tax them themselves at the post office (pre-internet) and handle any PCNs.

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