My Mum sold a car that isn’t legally hers?

[Lilly1102]

Last year my Mum gave me my late grandmas car (she legally transferred ownership to myself). She inherited it but never drove it as she has her own car and it was just sitting on their driveway doing nothing. I am an only ‘child’ and my grandma really did adore me and would be so pleased I learnt to drive in her car.

i’m 25 so was a late learner. I insured the car, taxed it etc. When I passed my test my partner bought me a more ‘stylish’ car for Xmas. He pays for the tax and insurance on that one so I decided to continue paying for the car I learnt to drive on for a year just to get some no claims and also my younger cousin learnt to drive in it with my uncle so I thought I may as well insure it.

my cousin is now done with the car , my Mum has decided she wants to sell it. I asked her very politely if there was any possibility I could get a very small percentage of the car sale (ie £300) just because I’ve paid £1400 for the car over the year even though I never drove it.

I asked out of principle because legally it is actually in my name etc, it wasn’t about the money, i just asked to see if my parents actually ever considered my opinion or asking me.

my mum has never put any money into that car as my grandma bought it and my mum never drove it even when it was her name (I think she SORNed it).

It took so much courage to ask her as my parents are VERY ‘funny’ with money and I was right to be scared because she phoned me back SCREAMING down the phone telling me she needs the money for the car sale.

she screamed and cried and said ‘I don’t live in the world she’s living in’ (she assumes because I work in finance that I am some rich bitch) which is SO far from the truth.

I’d like to emphasise that my parents live in a 5 bed detached house with a large garden in the Home Counties with NO mortgage. My father is retired and although my mum doesn’t work (she’s also close to retirement age) they are hardly hard done by. Me and my partner on the other hand (although we are also not hard done by) we don’t own a house and we more a less live pay cheque to pay cheque most months.

her reaction really stunned me. It stuns me because they’re so critical of my boyfriend’s father who recently inherited a relatively large sum of ££ from a house sale. My parents think he is selfish for not giving my partner any money for a house deposit from it and they always tell me that if they had spare money they would give it to me.

me and my boyfriends view is that it’s his fathers money - he can spend it on what he likes but my parents have such a double standard because whenever I ask for any help (not on a large scale at all) they quick up a huge fuss.

was I wrong for asking? Like I say, I don’t want the money but I’m more hurt at my mums reaction given her beliefs about other people’s attitudes towards their money! They’re so judgemental about everyone else and as soon as I ask (which I never do because even growing up I was met with reactions like this) it turns out to be a huge drama.

If you live pay cheque to pay cheque, why did your partner buy you a fancy car? You already had a car!

How old is the Micra?

I assume a 20+ year old Micra?

Because surely you didn't switch a modern car for one nearly quarter of a century old and then call it 'safer' and 'more stylish'. Theres a reason fancy cars become 'cheep'.

A nearly 25 year old car is a money pit just in maintenance (especially if you cannot do the work yourself) no matter how well kept. Only really good for hobbyist mechanics/collectors plus parts on fancy ones are extortionate and insurance stays high.

A 20 year old micra even with the post covid boost is worth a couple of hundred, its often worth more as scrap parts.

Insuring a car for someone else to drive the majority of the time is illegal.

It is called "fronting".

No, money does not have to change hands for someone to be the legal owner of a car:

Transferring ownership: You must legally register the transfer of ownership with the DVLA even if no money is exchanged. You can transfer ownership by:

Completing a form on the DVLA website

Selecting "sold it" in step 2

Providing the 11-digit reference number from your V5C

Providing the new owner's name and address

Completing sections 6 and 8 of your V5C document

Sending the completed V5C to the DVLA by post

After a very quick google................

Why did you keep the car and spend so much on it when you clearly feel you are hard done to and want to buy a house. You seem to make calamitous financial decisions - maybe that is what she meant but not living in the same world as her.

You say you normally have a good relationship with your parents but to be honest if histrionic overreactions to you moving our or asking about the car are anything to go on, I think it's not as good as you think. Crying is often used to manipulate, dramatic statements and screaming are NOT normal to a simple question, or to 20+ children moving out of the family home.

So they aren't just 'funny' about money there are other issues. I'm betting you grew up try to keep quiet and please her a lot? And tippy- toe on eggshells around her feelings and maybe your Dad too? Do you often apologise for 'making her' feel sad/upset? Did they use money to try to control you as you got older? I'm guessing they use emotional blackmail to get what they want from their kids. If any of this rings a bell, start to reflect on this and it may help to see how to handle them (and adjust your own behaviour towards them) going forward. If you think there is a problem then some counselling (for you, on your own) about your childhood may help as well.

And yes I agree that the car was clearly a gift and she's somehow reinvented history now, for whatever reason. And she is being hypocritical if criticising bf's parents about the inheritance whilst being stingy over the car.

My mother was a drama queen - my advice is don't tolerate it as people like this just get worse as they get older. Be kind, firm and calm but don't put up with it. Walk away from the crying & screaming if you have to and definitely stop apologising for things you don't need to. Withdraw a bit if needed so the message sinks in.

yes it was def a misunderstanding. I thought she GAVE me the car indefinitely but yes granted I didn’t drive it, and whilst paying for insurance monthly I thought my cousin might as well learn and because he works at a pub I wouldn’t dare ask him for any remuneration.

as my mother GAVE me the car I wrongly assumed that I could’ve been the one to sell it in the future ( if I wanted ) that’s why I asked her whether she’d ever consider giving any proceeds from the sale. Re the log book, I’ve learn from answers on here that I was wrong to assume that I was the ‘owner’.

the car from my partner was a Christmas present. I pay for our food shops, British Gas bill etc. He pays for when we go out for dinners etc / car stuff / drinks if we go out.

It’s a pretty even split - I don’t financially depend on him and if he let me I would pay for my own tax and insurance on the car. We see it as all our money :)

V5C documents specifically state that they are not proof of ownership, only the registered keeper. I have no idea why people don’t read important documents, but there’s no excuse for not knowing when it’s in black and white (or green).

Yeah, when DH was my boyfriend his car irreparably broke. He drove me everywhere as I don't drive. I bought a car it was registered in MY name, my now DH was the registered main driver on my insurance for my car.

A car does not need to be in the drivers name. OP wasn't even 'keeping' it as it was on the parents drive and being driven by others so no need to be a 'registered keeper'.

In a court of law they would simply look at who its registered to settle a debate of ownership (unless the other party could prove they where still paying finance on it). Otherwise it would be deemed gifted unless they want to open a case of fraud that someone changed the V5 without permission.

If you'd paid for the general maintenance to keep it roadworthy/pass its MOT/maintain its service history etc. then I don't think it's hugely unreasonable to ask for a small percentage of the sale value.

If you'd not done all of the above, the car would likely have been worth less money when your mum sold it.

And all you did was ask.

A normal adult doesn't scream and cry at someone for simply asking; it's like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

That said, I don't think your mum is obliged to share any proceeds with you and I can understand why she isn't.

And if she thought you were being a cheeky fucker for asking all she needed to say was 'no'.

I think this is one of these things that has to be learned: never a borrower or a lender be (or certainly not without firmly agreeing all the boundaries to start with).

Move on, forget about it. Not easy when you've sunk money into something, I know, but focus on the car you do now own and don't borrow from your mum again.

Hi OP - you're taking a lot of flack here but I just wanted to say that fro my understanding of your post, it's not about the car so much as your parents' talk/actions around money, and you feeling like they have not consulted you.

Maybe your mum is the legal owner of the car, but if someone said they had "given" me a car I would also understand that to mean given. If it was a loan, they would specify that they are lending me their car. Also, if you have paid insurance/tax/repairs in that time, it sounds very much like it is your car in practice, if not legally speaking. Asking for a small proportion of the sale sounds like a practical consideration in recouping money spent, and as you stated in your OP, testing the water to see if your parents considered you in the decision to sell it.

I can understand that if you used the car, insured it, leant it to your cousin, etc., that being told unilaterally that it is being sold feels like the rug being pulled from under your feet.

FWIW your mum's reaction is completely batshit. If I asked for something my parents can't give, or find cheeky, they'd say "we can't do x because", "or we're surprised you've asked for x because". I can't imagine them shouting and screaming down the phone for me asking for something, even if they thought IABU.

Also, I hear that you're confused because publicly they say they'd love to help you financially and criticise others with more money who don't help you. Here is an opportunity for them to sub you 300 quid yet they are screaming blue murder.

If you can make your peace with it, I'd just try to filter out anything they say about money/helping. You and your partner are clearly on your own financial path and doing what you can to build a life/lifestyle, stick to this and think of it as tending your own garden. Don't go looking over the fence at what they're doing, and if they stick their noses over to say how you should water your plants, politely thank them for their opinion and continue doing the thing that suits you best.

But OP's name is on the log book.

No its not, as long as you say they are the main driver its perfectly legal to insure someone else on your car... you don't even need a license to own a car and take insurance.

Apologise to your mother.

She gave you the car and you made food use of it until you got given a better one. At that point you should have returned the car to her.

Yes she sounds like a spoiled princess, gets a car to use for free, BF gifts her a more stylish one and then wants cash from a car she never owned!
I am sure there are reasons why DM reacted like this. And if DGM would have been so delighted for her to have the car, she would have left it to OP.

No, if it was a gift she could sell it for scrap imo.
Unless someone specifically says this is a loan I want it back at some point then they have no more say over it once given.

It’s a fair assumption to make.

Your mum sounds like an over-emotional drama queen and she should also stop commenting on your boyfriend's father's inheritance. It has got nothing to do with her and she is being very hypocritical given her reaction to you asking for a small amount of the sale price of her inherited car.

It also sounds like your dad enables her behaviour.

this is besides my question / point but if you really just know.::

My boyfriend knows all about cars (not me) and yes he is car OBSESSED so although buying it for me, it’s also a hobby for him. i wanted a saloon because I find them more stylish. My understanding is that Lexus is a reliable Japenese brand, I was a new driver so obviously he wasn’t going to get me a 2022 Lexus saloon if I were to have accidents due to being a new driver.

the micra was 2006, so my car ‘upgrade’ was actually 3 years older but it’s still a safer car and better structurally than the micra which is a ‘bubble’ car.

Thank you! Yes this was my point exactly. Car aside, and everything else it’s just hypocritical especially given her OVER reaction when she always comments on my boyfriends fathers inheritance and makes comments that his dad is ‘selfish’

As an adult with a job in finance, no childcare bills and presumably no debt, do you really need to ask your parents for £300?

You did not inherit the car, you paid for upkeep while YOU were using it. Sorry but you do come across entitled.

Well I think your parents are cheeky. Mum ‘gave’ you the car which you then insured and taxed for a year as your dad told you it would be a good idea. During that time a different family member used the car to learn in, whilst
you paid for it! You’re not unreasonable to ask for a share of the sale. Your mum sounds unhinged, screaming and carrying on because you asked for a few hundred quid. Rather than worrying they haven’t been in contact with you, be glad that you have a break from the crazy. I wouldn’t have apologised either.

£300 is not a “very small percentage” of the sale price of a 2006 Micra. It’s at least 50%!

If you know your parents are very funny / touchy about money, surely you anticipated asking them for £300 of it wouldn't go down well. Is it really worth the hassle for £300?!
Car was left to your mum, up to her what she does with it.

Legally it's cut and dried.
Your Mum inherited the car. Rather than sell it, she kindly let you use it to learn to drive in and it suited you to use it.
No matter WHAT car you used you'd still have put money into a car.
Therefore the way I see it, you weren't 'owed' any part of the car.
It wasn't your Mum's fault that you chose to insure it. That was your choice because you wanted to built up no claims insurance time.

So yeah, if I was your Mum I'd be surprised if you asked for a share of the profits.