My Mum sold a car that isn’t legally hers?

[Lilly1102]

Last year my Mum gave me my late grandmas car (she legally transferred ownership to myself). She inherited it but never drove it as she has her own car and it was just sitting on their driveway doing nothing. I am an only ‘child’ and my grandma really did adore me and would be so pleased I learnt to drive in her car.

i’m 25 so was a late learner. I insured the car, taxed it etc. When I passed my test my partner bought me a more ‘stylish’ car for Xmas. He pays for the tax and insurance on that one so I decided to continue paying for the car I learnt to drive on for a year just to get some no claims and also my younger cousin learnt to drive in it with my uncle so I thought I may as well insure it.

my cousin is now done with the car , my Mum has decided she wants to sell it. I asked her very politely if there was any possibility I could get a very small percentage of the car sale (ie £300) just because I’ve paid £1400 for the car over the year even though I never drove it.

I asked out of principle because legally it is actually in my name etc, it wasn’t about the money, i just asked to see if my parents actually ever considered my opinion or asking me.

my mum has never put any money into that car as my grandma bought it and my mum never drove it even when it was her name (I think she SORNed it).

It took so much courage to ask her as my parents are VERY ‘funny’ with money and I was right to be scared because she phoned me back SCREAMING down the phone telling me she needs the money for the car sale.

she screamed and cried and said ‘I don’t live in the world she’s living in’ (she assumes because I work in finance that I am some rich bitch) which is SO far from the truth.

I’d like to emphasise that my parents live in a 5 bed detached house with a large garden in the Home Counties with NO mortgage. My father is retired and although my mum doesn’t work (she’s also close to retirement age) they are hardly hard done by. Me and my partner on the other hand (although we are also not hard done by) we don’t own a house and we more a less live pay cheque to pay cheque most months.

her reaction really stunned me. It stuns me because they’re so critical of my boyfriend’s father who recently inherited a relatively large sum of ££ from a house sale. My parents think he is selfish for not giving my partner any money for a house deposit from it and they always tell me that if they had spare money they would give it to me.

me and my boyfriends view is that it’s his fathers money - he can spend it on what he likes but my parents have such a double standard because whenever I ask for any help (not on a large scale at all) they quick up a huge fuss.

was I wrong for asking? Like I say, I don’t want the money but I’m more hurt at my mums reaction given her beliefs about other people’s attitudes towards their money! They’re so judgemental about everyone else and as soon as I ask (which I never do because even growing up I was met with reactions like this) it turns out to be a huge drama.

I don’t know why people are so caught up on the ‘fancy’ car - it’s not ‘fancy’. It was a safer car that my boyfriend purchased for £2700 at a dealership. It’s just bigger and slightly safer. And it was a Christmas present. It’s not like he now has extortionate finance payments.

i don’t pay for it, I don’t pay for the tax, I don’t even insure it. My boyfriend is much more financially savy so when I said ‘we’ love from paycheque to paycheque maybe I just should’ve said ‘I’.

i do agree with your point re yes I just paid for the normal costs of the car and it was my choice to continue the insurance even though I wasn’t driving it.

My point is more that if I GAVE something to someone, especially a family member. I wouldn’t then take it back and sell it.

lending something is a different matter but maybe there was miscommunication there

Struggling to imagine what kind of car it is if a 2003 car is more stylish, but £300 would only be a small percentage of the sale.

I also don’t understand why you continued to insure it etc if you weren’t using it, had another car, and are living pay day to pay day.

Your mum’s reaction was very OTT however.

Your Mum sounds problematic sad I think what's upsetting you here isn't not getting £300 but the fact your Mum would scream and shout at you for making a reasonable request.

Its not OK for her to behave like that.

When your Mum makes a mistake is she able to apologise? How have you left things with your Mum?

Nothing wrong with your request at all and your Mum's behaviour seems way out of line...is that usual for her?

It’s a Lexus Saloon (I prefer saloons which is why I say ‘stylish’ in my opinion)

my grandmas car was a Nissan micra. I continued to insure it because I thought I might get some no claims for a year but I don’t think i thought it through too well

It's because in your opening post you called the car more "stylish", not more appropriate to your needs. It made it sound like you were splashing out on aesthetics and then throwing a tantrum because your mum wouldn't sub you from the sale of the car that she owns.

As I'm sure you know, the greatest satisfaction comes from things you have earned and paid for yourself. Not your mum, not your boyfriend. Sounds like you have all the motivation you need to improve your personal financial situation.

Sorry, YABU. You got helped out with the gift of a car to learn on - that's lovely of your mum/Grandma. You then helped out a cousin with a gift of a car to learn on, by keeping and insuring it - again, lovely, you were paying forward the gesture.

Now everyone is done learning, you have a fancy car and no need of it, and your cousin is done with it - it reverts back to being your mum's.

YES exactly this! If I thought my question was completely unreasonable I never would’ve asked. although now I’m reading everyone’s comments (maybe it was a little cheeky) but I asked politely I wasn’t demanding and I made it clear if the answer was no I’d be totally fine with that!

she hasn’t text me, I told her on the phone I’m sorry it upset her so much and I didn’t mean for her to cry. I told her it’s totally fine and she can do what she wants! She hasn’t text me since, but I’ve already apologised so I’m not sure what else she expects me to do - my dad also hasn’t text which is unusual (but I gather because he’s also very emotional he’s on my mums side)

I think lesson learned about your mums attitude.

You're right that some people like to talk the talk (about what others should do) but won't walk that walk themselves!

Fwiw when my mum was dying of cancer and they sold her car they gave my siblings and I a few hundred each as a gift. It was her and my dads car and money but they sold it for a little less than they purchased it for (2nd hand cats are worth more now!).

So I don't think asking if you could have a little to cover your costs was a terrible thing but I can also see her point and maybe she sees the loan of the car saved you money so it's all come out in the wash so to speak!

Thank you!! I actually didn’t realise that, which maybe why she had such a strong reaction.

I know you were concerned at telling your mum but is this her normal?

Or is this over the top and a bit of an extreme reaction even for her?

If it was particularly out of the ordinary I'd be planning a visit at the weekend to see if anything else was up and a cause for concern.

I get what you’re saying. My parents are funny about money.
They are generous, in one way, but hate spending in other ways. Maybe your mum frowns upon the fancy car purchase?

She must have had the V5 in order to sell the car. You either never had this, transferred it back to her name or she forged your signature. This is the document that says who the registered keeper is.

I presume you cancelled the tax and insurance and gave her the V5 and keys. Why would you do that if you thought you owned it ?

Your Mum was way OTT but you also sound a bit goady - you didn't pay £1400 for the car, you paid £1400 in order to facilitate the use of the car, which you had for free. You would have had to pay that whichever car you were driving. I can't understand why you would think you would get money even if your Mum were reasonable which you tell us she isn't. It's pretty grabby of you TBH.

Interesting…What do you do to denote change of ownership (over and above transferring the log book)?

I didn’t buy the car - my boyfriend did so even if she didn’t it wasn’t me but I know what you’re saying

Yes the log book is in my name and it’s at their house because I moved, didn’t take the car with me as it was at my cousins house etc. So I guess she’s just selling it under my name (which I have no objection to) I just asked her a simple question - maybe I should’ve asked in the title whether her response was an over reaction

it is her normal, but I wasn’t expecting a reaction as extreme from that question. When I told her my boyfriend and I were moving out she was in hysterics and was crying to my dad exclaiming that ‘she must hate us’ just because I said we wanted our independence…..

No, I don’t know how to explain it - it’s not about the money. I just asked in the most relaxed way but the reaction I faced was as if I was asking for money at gunpoint!

She's a fucking lunatic, screaming and crying at you. Absolutely unhinged.

Paying for insurance in your name and allowing your cousin to effectively be the main driver could be fronting. It is your dm car so you are not entitled to any proceeds.

I think she gave you a car which you decided wasn’t good enough for you. You left it at your cousins so she thought she might as well take it back. Maybe she was offended?

But WHY did you ask when the only expense you'd incurred were insurance tax etc which you would have had to have paid anyway? It's really odd behaviour on your part.

No my cousin lives on the same road - she knows all about that and was very happy for him to learn on it. She speaks to my uncle everyday, there isn’t any sneaky behaviour going on!

Normally money would change hands so you would have a receipt from the seller saying it’s been sold to you on x date for x amount. That is proof of ownership. I guess for a gifted transfer you’d write an equivalent, signed document saying it was transferred from x ownership to y on x date, with signatures.

well actually it was my dads idea to keep it insured (I complained multiple times about the insurance coming out) but he mentioned the no claims thing so I thought I was doing the right thing, otherwise I would’ve ceased to pay any insurance and would’ve SORNED it,

I didn’t think it through enough clearly and maybe she’s obviously offended that I asked but screaming and crying as a 55 year old seems a little dramatic!