“Shut up”

[Whywouldyousaythat88]

Today at a self check out, my 4 year old was crying to me over typical kid stuff when the woman at the self check out next to me said “oh shut up, child” loud enough that both myself and my child heard her.

How would you have reacted?

This is a great comment.

Christ! There are some right C U Next Tuesdays on this thread!
Children get upset/frustrated. Their world and understanding of it is MUCH different from ours FFS. 🤦‍♀️

Yes, a child crying can be noisy and yes, it can be irritating. The sound of babies crying isn’t exactly angels singing, is it!
Babies/children cry because they need their adult carer to respond to them appropriately. With love and care.

I’m trying to imagine myself as an adult, crying about something. And my husband or mother (the two people who presumably love me the most) ignoring me, berating me, getting exasperated with me, wanting me to shut up.

And vice versa, of course.

Nope, I can’t imagine it.

So when young children can’t contain their PERFECTLY NORMAL emotions and respond by crying, a lot of posters on here think that it’s acceptable to be horrible to/about them?

As I said, C U Next Tuesdays.

Next time you’re upset about something, I hope that the person you love most tells you to “pack it in.”

Vile fucking comment

I didn’t realise that there was a magic switch you could click that could instantly stop a child from being upset.
I do wish that it had been more widely publicised when my two were young.

He wasn’t having a tantrum.
Christ, so many people not reading the OP’s posts properly.
A crying child is NOT a child having a tantrum.

😂
what a stupid comment! Where on earth does it say that the OP PRAISED him for his behaviour???
FFS 🤦‍♀️😂

She told him that the other woman was in the wrong for wanting to stop is incessant wailing. That tells him that his incessant wailing because he couldn't find a toy is an appropriate reaction.

“Real world impact and consequences” ???
We’re hardly talking about the Nuremberg Trials here! 🤦‍♀️😂

It's ok for children to get upset but then, if they are making lots of noise, it's ok for adults, especially unrelated ones, to be frustrated. And yes, adults would ideally be regulated enough to politely hide their responses but muttering "oh shut up child" a bit too loudly to yourself when you're not even speaking to the child or their parent does not merit a public confrontation. It's very self-centred of parents to think that everyone has to be welcoming, approving or tolerant towards their children 100% of the time. Ideally people would be these things, but occasionally people run out of patience or headspace... we're all human. It's not as if this woman was shouting herself or swearing and I think the OP is being incredibly over-the-top to think "oh shut up child", said as an aside by a stranger, in any way constitutes abusive behaviour. It's just not very nice but that's all.

At this point, no we aren't. As he gets older, his ability to impact more people with his behaviour will increase. Best nip it in the bud now, eh?

No, it told him that his primary caregiver will not stand by and allow his perfectly valid feelings to be castigated.
Why can’t he cry if he’s frustrated?

Have YOU never cried out of frustration??

And who says he was wailing incessantly? Hope you didn’t pull a muscle with that reach.

well, you don't know how her day had been. If it was the last straw etc.

Frankly? if i'd been at the end of my tether and there was a noisy mithering child in front of me and the mother was doing nothing to calm it, I'd probably have said similar.

So meh.

Again, with the hyperbole.

It's not valid to wail because nothing in a shop is good enough for you. That's not an appropriate response. Yes it's a child that a child may have but it isn't something you validify. Just like when a child might hit out of frustration.

The woman wouldn't have said anything if noise wasn't an issue.

Imagine a teacher telling your child to “shut up.”
I doubt that you’d think it was “fairly mild, then.

She was rude, but I’ve often thought the same thing when I hear kids wailing their heads off and their parents doing sweet FA about it.
Instead of just ignoring him, why were you not talking to him? If he was upset he couldn’t find something to buy why didn’t you tell him ‘it’s ok we’ll go to another shop and see if we can find something to buy with your pocket money there’ or ‘it’s ok if you save it this week you’ll be able to buy x bigger/better toy next week instead’ anything to try and calm him down rather than allowing him to ‘express his emotions’ annoy everyone in the vicinity even if it does nothing at least you’re seen to be attempting to stop him wailing rather than just ignoring him

it was necessary for you to at least make the pretence of realising that your child was being very noisy and irritating people.

You do you. But you'll hear a lot more of this if you don't at least pretend to parent.

I'm sure some teachers still do tell the pupils to be quiet. Is it the end of the world

Who said I didn’t say those things to him? Do you think that saying those things would immediately calm every child?

And even if I didn’t, even if I did nothing and encouraged his behaviour, it’d still not anybody’s place to tell my child to shut up.

If an adult cried out of sadness and frustration in a queue at the supermarket? Yes I would consider that strange and OTT assuming it was related to the shopping trip and not a phonecall with devastating news.

We all have our feelings, we all feel our feelings, but how we express those feelings is probably one of the most important skills we learn.

I have a 6yo who roars and cries at the drop of a hat. Most of our parenting effort goes into biting our tongues and reminding her that her reaction to her sister getting the blue plate (or whatever) is not appropriate.

I’m a primary teacher. How do you propose that we deal with your DGD so that she’s not “getting away with it?”

WTAF! “Getting away” with being upset? Frustrated?

Yes, I have had many children who have got upset easily. I like to think that I was kind and caring to them, just as I’d want my own children to be treated.

it's not about stoping the noise, FGS. It is about at least looking as though you are making the barest minimum attempt at parenting

I'd have just ignored it, people in public are absolutely mental and it's never going to be worth arguing with someone who tells kids to shut up.
Her mental capacity & understanding is obviously zero.

What I meant was she plays up when with her parents. I wonder if she's different at school and probably has to be if the teacher has 30 kids to deal with