Husband and Mum clashing over baby!

[CocoaCravings]

Hi everyone,

Me (25F) and my H (27M) recently moved in temporarily with my parents after having our first baby who's currently a month old due to me wanting family support as I had a scheduled c-section and my H works full time

From day one my mother and H have been clashing over how we raise the baby. There's some bad blood between the two, due to my MIL & SIL. Whenever the in-laws come over they'll make comments about how baby is underfed (baby is in the 77th percentile) or not cleaned properly. The last incident was when my MIL decided to bathe baby at mine and my SIL recorded the entire thing, my mum chimed in and ask they not record baby because it's invasive... this led to a fiery exchange. Now H thinks there is a power imbalance because we live at my mums! And my mum no longer trusts the in-laws. My MIL also insists we feed the baby water because he's "thirsty" despite baby being EBF and supplemented with formula when necessary, my mum was stunned by the suggestion. SIL suggests we leave the baby at theirs for a week to get him "sorted out" cause we're not doing a good job. Also, they recently came over and customised baby's cot with bumpers and pillows - all of which my mum removed immediately due to concerns with SIDS. My H was extremely offended by this as his sister purchased these items (without my know-how btw).

Fast forward to today, we'll be going over to my MILs house very soon for baby's first proper outing and H wants it to be just us but my mum wants to come along too as I'm still pretty immobile and she doesn't trust I'll advocate for myself and baby at theirs. This has really upset my husband.

Hes antisocial and locks himself in the bedroom now with the baby

Any advice on how you'd approach being stuck in the middle between your mum and bonus family ?

I'm glad that things are looking more positive and that your MiL is listening

Clearly you are still going to have to keep a close eye on your SiL but at least your husband and mother have cleared the air.

Good luck!

Oh no. All I can think is your poor husband!!! That’s his baby not your mums!! It’s sad he has to hide with baby in the room because it’s the only time he can just be himself. In some cases tbh new grandma’s can honestly go a bit nuts and over step to the absolute max. That’s what’s happening here, get out before this starts to become a real problem in your (you, husband, baby) family!

Brilliant update op. Sounds like you and dh are on same page and both spoke up for each other to your own mums. SIL is less of an issue, but expect she will behave a bit better after dh's conversation.