Does my DD need to know how to wipe her bum if she does a poo before starting school?

[RedRobyn2021]

DD is 3.5 and we are looking at starting her in reception the term after she turns 4, she won't be going full time but it to help make the transition easier when she goes full time September next year.

I saw a parent on fb group I'm in saying their just turned 4yo (turned 4 in August) is coming home without their bum wiped properly after a poo because they're being left to do it themselves at school.

I am panicking now

My daughter has even potty trained for 1.5 years and will do all her wees in the toilet but will only poo in her potty. I didn't think this was the end of the world but when i saw this I realised I've never taught her how to wipe her bum (she's fine with wees)

Please can a teacher or parent who knows better advise me what's the norm? I'm quite worried now

Thanks @Alittlebitwary

I admire your honesty and think there's many parents who won't admit to similar when it comes to eating, drinking, putting on
A coat. It's not unheard of for a child not to be able to use the stairs at 3/4 but I
Would say it's unusual so I hope you were able to overcome it.

@1AngelicFruitCake we came across a play park with a slide that had proper steps instead of those "fun" slope things to climb up or a ladder. I think she got most of her stair climbing practice from there 😂

I agree wholeheartedly. That mther knew very well the child was going to school, should have persisted to train her. If I could do that with three boys under four years of age then why can't she, lazy, thoughtless parenting.

I agree. Depressing reading all round.

I recommend EVERY parent of a small child read Abigail Shrier's book Bad Therapy (which is actually about parenting). I see too many anxious teens with hovering parents who missed the boat inculcating a healthy sense of independence and can-do. In Japan, 5 year olds go shopping. Here, we wipe their bums till they are 5. The process of growing away from a parent starts the moment they are born and that is our jobs - to help them leave us. OP, you said you 'wouldn't send her' if she disliked various things about school. That comment made me worry more tgsn sny other. She is going to hate stuff and be unhappy. And that is normal. And she'll be OK. And you mostly won't have to be involved. Please read Abigail Shrier's, or Jonathon Haidt's books.

😄
As a reception teacher it's really interesting to read replies like yours because hopefully it highlights all of the areas Nursery and Reception teachers work on before they finish EYFS. Off the top of my head I've currently got children who can't jump, wipe their bottoms, stop interrupting, try new foods, hold a pencil, separate from parents happily, speak clearly and these are just a few things that come to mind. I hope there are parents reading this who maybe hadn't realised before that it's called the foundation stage for a reason!

@1AngelicFruitCake they had a climbing frame in the playground when my daughter was in the nursery class and on her first day took one look and said "I can't climb that. I'm too little" (she was a teeny little titch). It was lovely when towards the end of the year her teacher excitedly came up to me at pick up and said "She did it. She climbed !"
(sorry @RedRobyn2021 not really relevant to your thread 🙂)

Yeah at primary school no one helps them wipe. DS1 was a late potty trainer and even now in Year 1 he will come home with skid marks if he's gone at school. He just can't reach that well yet. Most of the time though he just holds it til he's at home so it's never been a major issue.