Can school stop this?

[CherryCherri]

My son collects my daughter from school whilst I wait outside with my other child. My son is 12 and my daughter is 7. The school were fine with this as I was waiting just outside and they are aware of this, never been a problem for 2 years. However a new headteacher started last year and suddenly it’s now a problem. Now siblings have to be 16 to collect. I explained my situation and why my son is collecting and that I’m waiting right outside and at no point is he ever expected to bring her home alone, they were ok with this until recently and now it’s a problem again. I’ve repeated again I am just right outside, members of staff can see me and I can see my son the whole time he is in the playground but nope they have refused and said he isn’t allowed to collect her and bring her to me. Now I hear time and time again on here that schools can’t dictate this but can they? They refused to allow my daughter to go with my son the other day so seems the school do have the final say. I’m asking if I insist he collects her can they stop it and I’m guessing all they could do is refer to ss, how would ss view this situation?

She is picking her child up. Just not from the door

I can think of a couple of scenarios where there could be a problem so I think the best option is to discuss in a meeting with the HT

Is the problem with the HT or the new class teacher do you think?

The head is just watching his/her own back without applying any common sense.
Dd had a head like this, didn’t want the year 6 dc doing cycling proficiency because one of them may get knocked down on the way to school.
Fortunately one of the governors was smarter and more stubborn than the head so managed to change his mind.

I think you need to make an appointment with the head and explain yet again your reasons.

I think it’s nonsense and would expect ss would too. They have enough real safeguarding concerns to deal with. But if the school insist on being difficult then they can send a teacher out to your car with your child daily.

Schools are never in loco parentis. This is a specialist term and doesn’t mean simply the people who have responsibility for a child.at any given point.

Talk to the HT and if you get no joy take it up with the governors. At least that way the HT will have to justify what is essentially an unnecessarily inflexible policy.

I didn’t realise that annoying MNtters would change what a school is legally allowed to do or not 😜😜

Yes, posters keep saying on al these threads that parents' decisions override the school only for the school to tell them that they won't listen. I do find it ridiculous though that Y5s can walk home alone but an older child can't pick up a sibling. I have seen Y5s walking back home with even younger siblings!

Schools make up seemingly baffling rules, contact chair of governors and local education authority

Yes.
The school can make that rule for safeguarding. They can’t know you are really just outside the gate.

They can require this yes. If you refuse you will get SS visit. Safety of children trumps all.

What does it mean then?

There is a difference between saying a young child is responsible enough to walk home Vs making a slightly older child responsible for their safety. Both children should be able to independently walk home if that's the case.

Also I understand making the accommodation if mum is outside the gates, but then the school needs to manage that accommodation, doesn't sound like a big deal until the mums lats one day and teachers don't realise.

Social workers are pretty busy, they aren't visiting parents to enforce school rules.

But they love a safeguarding referral.

The issue changes from older sibling collecting younger sibling to safety concern because we all see from the OP, that the mum is “just outside the gates” but refuses to enter, or leave the 12 year with the younger. Or all 3 enter together.
It seems like mum doesn’t want to enter school grounds prefers send a child.

Myriad of reason occur to people concerned with child safety.

1. is mum really just outside
2. Is she on foot, or in a car idling
3. on foot, is she impaired & not wanting school staff to notice?
4. does she have a black eye & doesn’t want anyone to notice

etc etc School only needs to say the words “safeguarding concern”

Yes but it might make a difference to the school.

But ultimately it isn't down to the school and their only sanction is to make a safeguarding referral which in this case social services would laugh at at best and at worst would have a go at the school for wasting their time.

The risks aren't any less in Scotland or in other European countries where children are given far more freedom.

I don't think we can say what SS would think of it, without knowing the reason why you can't go in. I don't want to know, but I don't think we can answer your question. Sorry.

That's interesting - when I was a school governor we discussed having "cycle parking" at the school and the head said no because it wasn't appropriate to encourage junior school children to cycle to school, even with parents or older siblings. I was the only governor who disagreed, so it didn't get done. My son left that school in 2014 and they still don't have cycle parking.

They do let the kids do cycling proficiency though.

Schools are indeed in loco parentis. All schools until the child is 18. Its always been the way. I'm 55 and I learned this when I was 12.

SS wouldn't do anything about it, given that OP is waiting for her child at the school gates and son has been doing this for two years with the school's blessing.

OP

It seems from your recent post that the teacher releasing your child cannot see you, although other members of staff can.

Could you suggest to school that your DC7 is sent to eg the office (if that is where the staff are who can see you) and she walks to you at the gate from there?

OP has said she can't enter due to a disability. It isn't a case of her refusing to enter or not wanting to do so.

Just a bit crass. Why assume OP can walk?

Wow ours are encouraged to cycle while parents walk, also allowed scooter. Not allowed to walk home alone until year 6. If grandparents collecting parents are supposed to phone the school in advance. In practice once the teachers got to know me there was no issue.

Heads use their own judgement it would seem. One head I know everyone has to stand outside the school gates.

The answer to your initial question is probably yes, they can enforce the policy they have put in place and it’s confusing, because the email you showed clearly stated that they could make an exception. Perhaps the head has been told they can no longer do that.

Are you able to try to arrange a meeting with the head, to put forward your case again? Otherwise, you could try emailing once more and if she still refuses, contact the chair of governors.