Can school stop this?

[CherryCherri]

My son collects my daughter from school whilst I wait outside with my other child. My son is 12 and my daughter is 7. The school were fine with this as I was waiting just outside and they are aware of this, never been a problem for 2 years. However a new headteacher started last year and suddenly it’s now a problem. Now siblings have to be 16 to collect. I explained my situation and why my son is collecting and that I’m waiting right outside and at no point is he ever expected to bring her home alone, they were ok with this until recently and now it’s a problem again. I’ve repeated again I am just right outside, members of staff can see me and I can see my son the whole time he is in the playground but nope they have refused and said he isn’t allowed to collect her and bring her to me. Now I hear time and time again on here that schools can’t dictate this but can they? They refused to allow my daughter to go with my son the other day so seems the school do have the final say. I’m asking if I insist he collects her can they stop it and I’m guessing all they could do is refer to ss, how would ss view this situation?

How to do you TAKE them to school, then?

My DC school is like this also. I live across the road from the school, the school gate is opposite my front door basically. I can see into the school from my door. I have a health condition that can play up from time to time meaning walking any distance is hard for me. I once sent my eldest into the school to fetch DC and on the way out the head teacher stopped him and asked where I was. He pointed over to where we live and said she’s at home, I was stood at front door, he wasn’t allowed to walk DC out of school!!!

On another occasion where my health was particularly bad, DC walked to school on his own, again I was stood at front door, can see him walk into the school gates and had a phone call saying it was a safe guarding issue as they only allowed children in year 5 and above to travel too and from school alone. I said I can literally see him from my front door and we are not allowed in the playground in the AM anyway. He has to cross a small road that leads down into a cul de sac. He was in year 3 at the time and we had a school street so no cars are even allowed down our road. School are aware of said health condition also. I was shocked.

When my daughter was at primary school (I think up until P4, so up until the age of 8) only a named adult could collect her. That was the school's rule, and I thought it was perfectly reasonable.

Present the original agreement details to the new head. Make clear the reasons for it.

Then if they still don't budge, call their bluff (and let the kids know you're doing this to avoid them getting upset).

SS will not be interested in backing the school over refusing to make a reasonable accomodation, and won't be happy with the school for wasting their time. They might not be happy with you either but thats by the by, you won't suffer as a result of that.

I don't think SS would see sending a 12 year old to pick up a 7 year old as wrong, but also, I can't see them worrying that the school say no. It's not outrageous to just say no-one who isn't very clearly an older teen or adult. Overly cautious yes, but hideously unfair - no. I guess the other thing is kids mature at very different rates. Like my kid has been tall enough to pass for 12 since he was 9 (clothing size wise). So then you have the question of is the 11 year old really 8 or 7 themselves? Once you get into the school letting the child go with a kid, you are automatically into how old is that kid? (I don't mean you are letting your child go with someone too young, but in theory.)

All sounds fairly ridiculous OP and as though you are just being awkward. Maybe that’s not the case, but as you are refusing to give your reasons, it’s difficult to understand or advise. You are being deliberately combative here, and I suspect are one of those parents at school, judging by your posts.
How about you set a good example to your kids and accept the rule change? It’s up to you if you decide to establish their reasons, or just accept that this is their policy - maybe something has happened that you are not aware of, maybe not, but it’s highly unlikely school have made this rule change just to piss you off.
Also, are you saying that you had your then 10 year old collecting your then 5 year old from school? Sounds very wrong from the schools point of view as well as yours if that was the case.

Good God the world has gone mad.

It seems to all be down to the head, well definitely does at our primary. A couple of years ago they went mad on having to have a set list of who was collecting each child on each day of the week, any changes to be notified in advance. This is at a small village primary where everyone knows everyone and we’d quite frequently just grab each others kids if a friend was running late etc. This obv stopped. Also, anyone collecting had to be over 16. My 15 yr old could no longer collect her siblings if she was about.
However, we now have a wet lettuce of a head who is absolutely uselsss at every aspect of being a head, and now there is a child in yr. 6 who walks her yr. 3 brother a 15 minute walk to and from school each day and they are totally fine with it. I mean I have no issue with it and if the parents have decided they’re happy with it, it’s up to them. It’s the fact that I wasn’t allowed my 15 yr old to pick up her siblings but now it’s fine for a 10 year old to do it!

This is probably the reason, then. For whatever reason, they've decided this is not a satisfactory arrangement for some of the children involved, and the easiest way to prevent it is a blanket ban.
It sounds as if there is good reason for your family to be an exception, but it's probably difficult to make exceptions just as the new rule is imposed. It will be difficult for them to answer "why is CherryCherri allowed...?" - "there's a reason which we won't tell you" might generate unwanted speculation.

You could try pursuing it further with them - if the head doesn't have the full picture then they may relent when they do. If not, another option would be to arrange with another parent in your younger child's class that they will pick up your child and bring them to you. They can't object to that, and it wouldn't be a big ask of another parent.

As I mentioned upthread, nearly every group/place that my kids go to have revised their parent/collection/door policies post Southport.

The school have obviously reassessed this arrangement and decided that safeguarding - rightly - is the most important consideration.

How would SS react? It would include looking at the bigger picture around it, is a wild guess. If the disability is physical and you literally cannot get a wheelchair to the school door, for example, they would probably take a different view than if the disability is anxiety related.

My primary only needed to ‘clock’ an adult for the first few weeks of P1 when mine were little. Now it is all P1 but after that the children just run out into the playground and find their parent/sibling/own way home.

So how do you actually collect your child if your 12 yo can’t get them? I very much doubt social services would get involved unless they believed your stance was unreasonable and a safeguarding issue. Have you never dropped off/collected your child at all at this school?

At our local primary school older siblings were allowed to collect their younger siblings, from keystage 2 playground. But they wouldn't be allowed to collect siblings from keystage 1. You should book an appointment to discuss this with the head and see what he says. There's nothing any of us can do to help unfortunately. Maybe collecting her from the office might be better for you? Would it work for you and be allowed?

If your reason for not going the whole distance yourself is related to health or disability can you ask for your son collecting as a reasonable adjustment?

Schools make their own rules so yes they can do this. It’s just like having rules about uniform and attendance and other things like that. You have no legal right to insist on them doing what you want, which seems to be what you’re asking.

If they’re refusing to make an exception for you then your choice is to accept it or find another school.

The local authority safeguarding service don't have time for managing what is essentially a communication/ relationship issue between you and the new head. They will say that there is no law and that schools have to be trusted to make their own decisions about releasing children from their care. Ultimately you choose to have your child in that school so you follow their rules. You don't have to send your child there.
The teacher on the door hasn't made this decision and is merely following what the head has asked them to do, which they have to do. If you are causing issues by continually sending your 12 yr old to collect then you are eating into their time which they may need to deal with actual real safeguarding issues at the end of the day.
A new head can make changes and it's irrelevant that the school formerly let your (then 10 yr old?) child collect.

It will be in the school policies which will be on their website

Schools can absolutely decide who to hand over their pupils to. It IS a safeguarding issue

Speak to the school and explain your situation. They may make an exception but be prepared for them to decline it

It will be in the school policies which will be on their website

Schools can absolutely decide who to hand over their pupils to. It IS a safeguarding issue

Speak to the school and explain your situation. They may make an exception but be prepared for them to decline it

I do find English schools really bizarre! Where I live in England, the primary children have really long days, even from the first year, they don't finish until 3.30pm!! Where I live, they finish at 12noon, then it gradually increases to 2pm.

Secondary schools where I'm from finish around 3.30-3.45pm.

Anyway, as this is disability related, the school should be able to make reasonable adjustments, I don't think you'd get into trouble with SS if they ended up reporting this. It states in the email you posted from the school that they can make exceptions, but the rest of your screenshot has been cut off, so not sure if they said your reason would not be made an exception. But in your position, I'd challenge it through a complaint. And escalate it to the Governors and the LA. If you get nowhere, I'd change schools or home educate the child instead. It's very typical of new Heads to come in and exert their authority and not back down like this.

I wasn't educated in England and find the English schools approach really infuriating. I live opposite a school and I'd imagine if my children attended (they don't, they're home educated), that they'd likely not let them cross the dead-end road to get to our house at the dead-end. That along with the attendance carry-on, amongst so many many other reasons are why I won't send my children to school in England!

If they decline it, what will they do? Keep the child at school forever?

It seems a reasonable adaptation of the rules. I'd request a staff member brings the child to you if they are unwilling to let your son do it

long day ? lord when I was at secondary school it was 9 to 4 all week and that was 20 years ago. times haven't changed as I live near it now. then add 2 and a half hours of evening study or games or training in top if that.