Can school stop this?

[CherryCherri]

My son collects my daughter from school whilst I wait outside with my other child. My son is 12 and my daughter is 7. The school were fine with this as I was waiting just outside and they are aware of this, never been a problem for 2 years. However a new headteacher started last year and suddenly it’s now a problem. Now siblings have to be 16 to collect. I explained my situation and why my son is collecting and that I’m waiting right outside and at no point is he ever expected to bring her home alone, they were ok with this until recently and now it’s a problem again. I’ve repeated again I am just right outside, members of staff can see me and I can see my son the whole time he is in the playground but nope they have refused and said he isn’t allowed to collect her and bring her to me. Now I hear time and time again on here that schools can’t dictate this but can they? They refused to allow my daughter to go with my son the other day so seems the school do have the final say. I’m asking if I insist he collects her can they stop it and I’m guessing all they could do is refer to ss, how would ss view this situation?

If it was me, I would first speak to the headteacher and explain why you can't collect your child in person.
I'd give them two options: either the 12 year old walks 7yo to the car, or a member of staff does.
If the head is still difficult, I would call your local MASH (multi agency safeguarding hub) for advice.
I'd make a formal complaint.
Ultimately, I'd be prepared to insist on my child being released and I'd fight the school on it.

This.

Putting your children in an awkward or difficult situation isn’t fair. You’re the adult. Have a discussion with the school and come to an agreement. Just don’t be as petulant as you’re coming across here. You’ll need to share your reason with the school of why you need allowances made for you.

You make an appointment to see the head laying out your reasons once again. If they are ignored. Go to the education authority.

The reason why you don’t go in and your 12yo does is really important, because if it is because of some sort of disability, say, then you have a good leg to stand on, but if it because you’re sitting in your car idling or standing with a dog, you don’t.

Already have if you read the post, you are just annoyed you don’t get to be nosey

The School are aware of the reasons

t. I explained my situation and why my son is collecting and that I’m waiting right outside

Right in the op if you bothered to read.

But they obviously don’t see them as good reasons.

Don’t be daft.

In our primary year 5 and 6 can leave themselves, under that age someone over 14 needs to collect. This is non negotiable with the school.

Lots of kids collected younger siblings from school, he certainly wasn’t the only one, this is not uncommon and there is a secondary school 5 mins walk away, many of them collected younger siblings on the way home.

No you didn’t.

I honestly don't know why you started this thread OP. Go and talk to the head teacher and give them your extenuating circumstances. Non of us can speak to what they will or will not agree to. If you don't like their answer follow their complaint procedure. They are safeguarding your child OP sorry if that is inconvenient for you. Could someone else do the school run for you?

They or the new head as explained. Perfectly fine for 2 years.

yes the school can dictate policy. you have a few avenues open

Speak to the HT and see if a compromise can be made that works for all of you.. IE keeping your DD back until the school playground has cleared and you collect from reception, nominating another parent or teacher to bring them out...etc.

You could also go the route of making a complaint to argue your case, in which case you will need to follow process of school, governors, LA potentially.

Daft for the school to be part of the solution when they are refusing to cooperate with a long standing agreement?

No unfortunately not I don’t imagine many people would have someone who could do it every day. As a one off emergency yes but not daily. I started this thread asking how SS would view this

I agree with those who have suggested making a formal meeting with the headteacher to discuss. And if that doesn't work follow complaints procedure eg going to board of governors.

I think the agreement should be honoured, talk to the school. Nothing you say suggests a change in circumstances, for example another child being harmed by such an arrangement.

Have you had a meeting with the new head teacher?
Whatever your reasons are for requesting a change to rules they obviously currently don't think that they are strong enough to make an exception.
Perhaps if you talked it through with them you could either change their mind or come to a workable alternative solution.

As the OP is refusing to say why she can’t walk a few yards to collect her child then the ‘solution’ you suggest is daft. Staff are responsible for all their class, not to be a childminder for them.

What about the suggestion that one of the parents already there for pick up walks your child to the gate to meet you?

Really don't get if you can see your son why you can't just go through the gate and get him rather than this massive fuss being made. I'd love to know your reasons !!

I don’t know the other parents where I haven’t done the school run 🤷🏻‍♀️

SS would not get involved, they’re snowed under with actual safeguarding issues.