Can school stop this?

[CherryCherri]

My son collects my daughter from school whilst I wait outside with my other child. My son is 12 and my daughter is 7. The school were fine with this as I was waiting just outside and they are aware of this, never been a problem for 2 years. However a new headteacher started last year and suddenly it’s now a problem. Now siblings have to be 16 to collect. I explained my situation and why my son is collecting and that I’m waiting right outside and at no point is he ever expected to bring her home alone, they were ok with this until recently and now it’s a problem again. I’ve repeated again I am just right outside, members of staff can see me and I can see my son the whole time he is in the playground but nope they have refused and said he isn’t allowed to collect her and bring her to me. Now I hear time and time again on here that schools can’t dictate this but can they? They refused to allow my daughter to go with my son the other day so seems the school do have the final say. I’m asking if I insist he collects her can they stop it and I’m guessing all they could do is refer to ss, how would ss view this situation?

The age limit at ours is a named sibling 14 + or a named adult.

Email stating it is fine that he collects them, this was in March. New head teacher started in December so I don’t know why they changed their mind from then till now.

I am surprised your son's secondary school finishes before your other child's primary school.

I would write to the head and governors asking once again that the current teacher be made aware of the situation and not prevent your child leaving. It’s worked before for them, so it can work again.

If this doesn’t work I would make life difficult for them. Ok, they won’t let your 12 year old escort your 7 year old in full view of you? Ah then they’ll have to wait until your mum/husband/auntie Jill can get there to help collect. It will be half an hour after letting out time, but looks like the teacher is fine with waiting. No, we aren’t paying for after school club - I’m waiting right there, it’s your choice to keep my child in the building.

I suspect you’ll find that it gets resolved.

The secondary school where I am finishes at 3 and the primaries all finish at 3.15 - I assume it's deliberate so older siblings can collect younger ones.

Different head teacher, different academic year. Not comparable.

If you don't know why they have changed their mind, you should forward the head that email and ask them.

In this case I'd be asking them to set out in writing why the exemption they previously agreed isn't being adhered to. And if that doesn't resolve it, formal complaint.

It’s probably because although you are saying you are waiting just outside, they don’t know that you are going to be waiting just outside everyday unless they check.

Many lone parents won’t have a back up plan of someone else who can collect, I am a lone parent. I would call the school and inform them and ask if they can bring them out to me which they have done in the past.

All of the primaries around us finish at 3.15 or 3.30 and the secondary finishes at 4. I just assumed that was common. It is in the LA where I work too.

Yep many secondary schools finish at 3 don’t know what that comments about

Members of staff do see me every day as they stand on the gates (not dds teacher but other staff)

That's a very long day for the secondary kids, or do they start late too?

Well there you go I’ve never heard of a secondary school finishing at 4

No but they have a long lunchbreak.

Yes. I believe they can

it would be under safeguarding.

Must be or you would have been told to do one by now.

They can't stop it.

But many think they can and do they get away with it.

I'm always astonished by what you all put up with in English schools. We don't have this nonsense in Scotland.

I mean if you think there’s nothing they can do. Then do it 🤷‍♀️

I am baffled by this, and I know it is because I am old but surely it is up to the parent if a12-year-old is responsible enough to collect a younger sibling from school.

Also isn't it up to the parent if they think their child is old enough to walk home alone

Absolutely ridiculous unless there is something unusual like existing social services involvement.

Write to the school asking them to allow this as a reasonable adjustment and in line with the Equality Act 2010. You can also remind them that parents alleging disability discrimination can ask the SEND tribunal to consider an appeal.

Kids all over the world make their own way to school from age 4 or 5. Including navigating the metro in Tokyo.