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4yo being silly - CPS called on us by school

528 replies

Junkemail · 27/09/2024 13:22

Our life feels like it's been turned upside over a silly comment my reception aged child said to their teacher that her and my DH have been eating crayons out each others bottoms.

We've ended up with social services knocking on our doors and my DH is being investigated. It is absolute nonsense, she's 4 and says stupid things like this all the time about a variety of people. My DH is being investigated as sexually abusing her now. That's one issue and I'm hoping he's found innocent in their eyes as he's been kicked out the house by then.

But how do I handle comments like this moving forward so it doesn't happen again. She tells lies and imaginary stories that I know aren't true and this time it's ended up with us being in real trouble.

OP posts:
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AliasGrace47 · 30/09/2024 20:18

This sounds v tough OP. Sorry for the misunderstanding. So the school concluded the crayon story wasn't true? Or did something innocent happen w crayons w her dad or the boy? If a boy was involved, it should be checked he's OK & it was just an innocent misunderstanding.
It must be awful for your dd. She must know it wasn't her fault, and hopefully if she understands about telling lies the problems will be nipped in the bud. She must know that if something really happened w anyone, you would listen, though, she just has to tell the truth.

Kitkat1523 · 30/09/2024 21:15

AliasGrace47 · 30/09/2024 20:18

This sounds v tough OP. Sorry for the misunderstanding. So the school concluded the crayon story wasn't true? Or did something innocent happen w crayons w her dad or the boy? If a boy was involved, it should be checked he's OK & it was just an innocent misunderstanding.
It must be awful for your dd. She must know it wasn't her fault, and hopefully if she understands about telling lies the problems will be nipped in the bud. She must know that if something really happened w anyone, you would listen, though, she just has to tell the truth.

It’s not the schools role to conclude anything, school has a responsibility to refer, which is what they did…..that’s the role of children’s services……however , unless school felt that the child was at immeadiate risk of harm, then they should inform parents before making a referral ( they don’t need parents permission but should always inform them)

Reugny · 01/10/2024 11:56

She's lying about things and won't admit to it, changing her stories all the time. Got a lot of work to do it seems.

She's not lying. She just doesn't yet understand what is the truth and what is a story, and that telling some stories will get herself and others people in serious trouble.

I was first told of a child like this over a decade ago. Luckily for the parents the extended family who included retired teachers helped out with the child. The child was telling the school things like that their parents starved them and locked them up. The reason why the school questioned it was because on some of the occasions they were told this had happened by the child, one of the retired teachers had collected the child from school and was looking after them not the parents.

So you need to get your DD to understand what is truth and what is a story. This is why children are taught Aesop's tale of "The boy who cried wolf". You also need to tell her why we must not tell stories to people unless we are asked to make one up and we must say it is a story if we are asked whether it is true or not.

It's also worth teaching her later if she can't tell the truth as the truth will hurt one of her school friends' feelings e.g. someone wears a green dress, she doesn't like green, thinks the dress looks horrible as it is green but the other person thinks the dress is nice, then she is better not to say anything at all.

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