4yo being silly - CPS called on us by school

[Junkemail]

Our life feels like it's been turned upside over a silly comment my reception aged child said to their teacher that her and my DH have been eating crayons out each others bottoms.

We've ended up with social services knocking on our doors and my DH is being investigated. It is absolute nonsense, she's 4 and says stupid things like this all the time about a variety of people. My DH is being investigated as sexually abusing her now. That's one issue and I'm hoping he's found innocent in their eyes as he's been kicked out the house by then.

But how do I handle comments like this moving forward so it doesn't happen again. She tells lies and imaginary stories that I know aren't true and this time it's ended up with us being in real trouble.

This planet!

So the childless people who work in child protection have no right to their say?

This is a deadly serious issue so why are you trying so desperately to derail the thread?

Being a parent does not make you an expert in parenting- ask the West’s children.

But they don't have the authority to ask someone to leave.

It's completely normal to pat your baby/toddler on the bum for instance when they are falling asleep

I do this to my 9yr old still sometimes, it’s comforting. I’m pretty sure she’d tell me not to do it if she didn’t like it. She’s pretty vocal at what she wants and doesn’t want!

She also likes to kiss on the lips. Less now that she’s older but she still initiates it once a week or so. Nothing weird. She doesn’t think you kiss anyone else on the lips!

I don't think coaching children to hush things up is sensible. To do so puts vulnerable children at risk. A father nibbling a child's anus, having shoved crayons in it, isn't at all normal. Nor is a mother believing the abuser over their child and describing a very disturbing disclosure as 'silly'. Hope this family are watched like hawks. If there's nothing going on, there's nothing going on. If you're terrified of scrutiny, there's probably a reason.

That really is not fine at all. It's a very, very disturbing disclosure.

I'm not sure why you have quoted me here? I've never once advocated coaching children to hush things up? Just for Parents (and other caregivers) to be mindful of their words and actions and how they could be potentially interpreted.

A father nibbling a child's anus, having shoved crayons in it.

Kids shoving crayons up their bottoms and having their anuses nuzzled by their dad is sickening.

Gosh, some of these comments!
There's a mum, going through a difficult time, posting for support and advice on the other side of this.

This thread highlights of the danger and slippery slope of certain behaviour and comment, which may or may not be innocent. I personally never experienced someone playing the game of biting your bum etc and it not something I would do with my children. I don't get the relevance of asking one of poster whether she has a child or not - it's irrelevant to the actual thread.

I don't think innocent people need to be 'mindful' at all. I think adults just need to listen to children. This disclosure is disturbing and more than worthy of a very thorough investigation. I'm very happy that this family is on the radar.

Kissing on the lips is hardly comparable to eating crayons from a child's anus. The apologists here are very dangerous people.

The abuse I suffered took the form of plausibly deniable 'playful' behaviour, at least at first. Parenting needs to be careful.

Surely they talked to you? Said where they were from? The only advice I can offer is to always Put your children above any man. Listen to them. And never call a disclosure 'silly'.

The child didn't say they were parted on the bottom. They disclosed that dad was eating crayons from their anus in a reciprocal arrangement. I'm at a total loss as to why anyone would think this normal!

Hmm. I'd work with experienced professionals to help safeguard your 4yr old from here on in.

@Typeonesickofchocolate I’ve not said anywhere I think what happened is normal. I was responding to the other poster - whom I’ve quoted. I get you’re angry but I don’t think calling random people abuse apologists is helpful here.

Yes they absolutely do……happens all the time …..sometimes it’s just overnight until after a medical …..it’s often part of a safety plan ….they ask parent to leave….parent does leave fine..,,,parent doesn’t leave then it goes further ….mostly I have seen the alleged parent comply with this request

A mother who apparently has support from children's social workers and the school. As does the 4yr old now. Well done that school.

My apologies. I didn't read properly. You're not an apologist. I am a bit cross. Not at you. School seem to have acted properly. An assessment is underway. That's right and proper. The 'secret' games and the 'silly talk' stuff did trigger me. I'm going to just breathe a sigh of relief that this child has the opportunity to talk to a professional in confidence now and that the school acted appropriately. And now I can stand down. Sorry, again.

Type, I may be young but I'm politer than you are. What a nice response to someone talking about something upsetting.
I do get it seems odd, but I think you've been a bit oversuspicuous on this thread. I know we get fake posters, but I don't think OP is fake, & I know I'm not!
I actually created my account recently bc I have quite a few problems at home & I don't really have anyone to talk to comfortably about them, so I've got some good advice here. If all posters were like you, it would be difficult..
Thank you to the posters who have backed me up.

Social services absolutely do have authority to ask an adult to temporarily leave the home. It’s fundamental to child protection. As I said before it’s part of investigation and safety planning Rightly so

Why are you telling me this?

I reported it the same day. I rang Social Services to ask for advice and they insisted I rang the police and got a crime reference number, then rang them back. I was a bit reluctant to call the police as I didn’t know if a crime had been committed, but I did as I was told.

Someone visited the family and I got a phone call to update me that the girl hadn’t disclosed any abuse and insisted that she and my DD were just being silly. The family realised from the context that it was me who reported them.

I still wonder where the little girl got that idea/phrase from. I thought SS would get to the bottom of it, but maybe they couldn’t.

Well let’s see.. let’s dial down your ire and see that i inadvertently quoted the wrong poster

we are actually in agreement regarding this point

I don't really understand this. I haven't mentioned you or your age? I am sad you're facing challenges. Children's Services are distinct from the CPS. That's factual. A child made a disturbing disclosure. It appears to be being dealt with properly. How have I been rude in apologising to someone?

‘Ire’ ?? …. Why would I be angry? 🤷‍♀️
just pointing out your error 🙄