How can I tell family(parents) we don't want to share pictures of our baby with them.

[1stpregnancywoes]

I know this may seem strange and some may disagree but it is our baby and we are very keen to make sure her privacy is paramount and she can't consent. Initially we shared images of our baby with family via WhatsApp. We told them no sharing online. One family member did not listen to this and shared the photo.
We now no longer even want to share images with family at all as people just can't be trusted.
My husband's parents have again asked to see pictures of her ( mind you they haven't even asked how she is in around 6 months (she is 6 months and 1 week old)

How can we word this? How can we tell people
We don't want to share any images of her online at all. And that when they come to our home that we do not consent to them taking pictures of her as we know they will show/share them.

Thank you in advance

How weird.
I mean, keep the photos to yourself if you choose.

I'm about to become a grandparent for the first time. I'm fortunate I have an amazing DIL and DS. I respect their wishes in everything to do with their baby. I don't interfere and only offer advice when asked.
If they banned me from receiving photos I'd think they'd taken leave of their senses.
The only person I know who controlled family in the way youre suggesting, also banned anyone from seeing their baby for a fortnight and didn't even reveal the birth for two days. She then complained when no one wanted to provide free childcare because her DD barely knew the family and wouldn't settle.

I'm not on any social media but all babies look the same!

Get over yourselves! Never heard such madness- google Michael Jackson he used to put a blanket over his baby's head so no one would see them but at least he was famous

Yes this sort of thing happens far more often than you realise. The police came and spoke at a parents evening and I was horrified. It also made me realise how much private and identifying info put online that could be used for identify theft but also by strangers wanting access to your child,

Two. artists that I follow, I know their children’s full names, where they live, DOB, school, hobbies and schedule, likes and dislikes, all unasked for, but it’s all in their posts and stories.

The op didnt say she didnt want the family to visit - she said she didnt want photos taken that would be shared online.

Shes not even objecting to photos being taken - she just doesnt want them shared online. She did put that across very clearly and a family member ignored her perfectly reasonable request.

Geeez I wish people would actually read the op!

Genuinely mean this in an interested, non judgemental way, if you found a photo of you/your sibling/your child as a baby/young child on a paedophiles computer you wouldn't mind because it didn't hurt you directly?

Well I guess you could share cute little pictures of their hands or feet and be done - and hope they will happy with that. All a bit silly really especially with family.

Is your baby called Blanket?

😂

I think you’re getting a tough time unfairly here; my father-in-law has only met my daughter once (DH’s family is very very much of the Stately Homes variety) and when he got his phone out to take a photo I just told him he couldn’t. If he’d tried I would’ve pulled my daughter towards me so he’d only get a picture the back of her head and left immediately. We have very valid reasons for being careful (FIL’s household includes a man we suspect is a pedophile who I’m sure FIL would share the photo with) and there are ways photos can be manipulated nowadays that concern me: https://amp.theguardian.com/technology/article/2024/jun/12/predators-using-ai-generate-child-sexual-images

The bottom line for me is that it’s your decision what you do and don’t allow for your child and you don’t need to spend time with anyone who doesn’t respect your decision or tries to circumvent it.

The alternative is you send them lovely framed printed photos. Not that you don’t send them any photos. Honestly some people are such dumbasses

We had this problem too with family sharing photos on social media without our consent. We have an app that is closed to family members only and made it clear that is the only place we are happy for pictures to be shared. My MIL posted an announcement on Facebook with a pic of me and baby in hospital that we had sent privately before we’d even had chance to call everyone and share the news.

We do, OP made it abundantly clear. They are protecting their child’s “privacy”, and also as a 6 month old she can’t consent to having her image sent to her relatives.

Mind you at six months old there aren’t many things a child can actively consent to .

Do you want some calpol or do you prefer to have sore gums from teething? Sign or make your mark here.

Do you want this vaccination which can help to prevent you having several very unpleasant and possibly life threatening / changing illnesses? Blink once for yes, twice for no.

Meat or vegetarian option ? Please point to the appropriate picture.

You do realise that nobody gives a s*t about your baby's pictures on social media? At best people will say 'awwww, cute', but in reality, nobody gives a s*t.

I think you need to speak to the person who didn't follow your rules.

You can stick to your rules if you like but be warned you risk your babies bond with their extended family!

@viques lol, funny images! But what I mean is that something horrible might have happened to the OP to make her be very wary about privacy.

Genuinely and from a place of kindness do not do this.

There is no good way to do this because it’s an unreasonable hurtful strange thing to do

it would be a huge mistake.

we take our children’s privacy seriously due to our jobs we understand better than most how images can be abused and privacy around data. They aren’t online but we regularly update friends and family via WhatsApp and sometimes IG stories

If your intention is not plaster your child all over the internet that is actually reasonable but there are more reasonable ways to do this than what you are suggesting which will just result in you offending and upsetting your closest family members at a time that should be lovely and bring people together

Why can’t you just take the one who shared them more widely off the WhatsApp and carry on sharing them with others?

What exactly are you worried about?

They do. And bear no resemblance to the child they become. This is complete madness.

My mum would be devastated if I didn't send her photos of my DD. I think you are being incredibly mean and absurdly over protective

I personally would only exclude the person who went against your wishes and posted on social media. Everyone else should be able to see pictures. Completely agree with you with not posting children online. Children cannot consent.

Are you sharing photos with your own parents?

It's the only sensible option.

I don't think it's weird of you if you can't trust them not to share the pictures online. My grandkids don't appear online but I get plenty of pics in our private group as well as my own.