How can I tell family(parents) we don't want to share pictures of our baby with them.

[1stpregnancywoes]

I know this may seem strange and some may disagree but it is our baby and we are very keen to make sure her privacy is paramount and she can't consent. Initially we shared images of our baby with family via WhatsApp. We told them no sharing online. One family member did not listen to this and shared the photo.
We now no longer even want to share images with family at all as people just can't be trusted.
My husband's parents have again asked to see pictures of her ( mind you they haven't even asked how she is in around 6 months (she is 6 months and 1 week old)

How can we word this? How can we tell people
We don't want to share any images of her online at all. And that when they come to our home that we do not consent to them taking pictures of her as we know they will show/share them.

Thank you in advance

This is madness. Absolute madness.

Will you also be covering her face up when she goes out in the pram? You're being slightly ridiculous OP. It's a baby, people ooh and aah and say how cute and then move on with their day. Let me guess this is your first child?

That’s a bit weird. Fb fair enough, but family WhatsApp?

Just tell them you are not sharing anything with them as the family cannot be trusted. Don’t allow them to take photos if they visit you.

Theyve been told ....end of story

Youre being ridiculous strangers arevseeing your child but bot your family

I think you’re a bit mad for not sending your own family - your babies’ family- pictures of her as she grows. Surely you can make it crystal clear they are not to post any pictures on social media eg Facebook or Instagram. Most people know not to do this unless it’s your own child surely. I don’t see why you couldn’t send over WhatsApp. I think the other side of the coin is that maybe your baby would prefer to be closer to family members and have stronger bonds and I find it odd your main concern is consent by your child and not the loving relationships that are just beginning in their life…. I am so so so grateful for the wonderful relationship I had with my grandma. She passed last year and honestly I feel so lucky that we were close. We never lived near but my parents did everything possible to encourage us to have a good bond and she changed my life so much for the better. Maybe try and see it from a more positive perspective and one less paranoid.

The point is the family are sharing the WhatsApp photos on social media

"Hello, we have decided none of you are worthy of having photos of the next messiah. I shall be draping a blanket over my child until they are 18 and then they can decide if you're allowed to see their face. We will, however, require that you ask after the child, send presents, and otherwise be loving and involved"

I think I covered everything.

Unless one of them is the person who proved untrustworthy, send to them individually rather than on the family group. If one of them was the culprit, tell them why.

It’s mean to punish everyone because of the action of one person.

Are you a high profile celebrity?
Are you a criminal?
Are you on witness protection?

If not, I think you have to start accepting that others also love and like your baby. Doesn't mean blurb all over social media. But a private family What's App (you set it up you control content) isn't going to do great harm is it?

You don't want to spend your babies years anxious and uptight about photos.

Bit OTT op, just saying. Are you and DH always drama llamas? What do you think is likely to happen exactly? If it’s that big a deal just tell them your views like you have here and don’t share pics or let them take pics. But expect a backlash - perfectly reasonably…

What’s the fear here? Is your baby adopted and you are concerned birth family might find baby? If there is a rational concern explain it to your family. Otherwise…. You are trying to control too much for your own long term mental health IMO

It's when they are teenagers, recognisable, likely to interact with strangers and likely to post stuff about themselves they really shouldn't that you have to worry, a baby picture is a picture of a baby. I assume not naked pictures.

This is ridiculous. You've told them, give them another chance, unlikely they will do it again. If they do, stop sharing pictures with the person who shared them, but not the rest. It is just a picture, why do you think it is so serious? (I say this as someone who hasn't shared photos of her daughter online). If a photo is posted, it is not the end of the qorkd, it would be a different matter if someone uploaded hundreds of photos of her. There is no harm in sharing a photo

Hahahaha yes!

I completely understand why you wary of sharing pictures, when a member of your family broke your trust by posting it online (presumably facebook).
Lots of parents dont like thier children's photos online, and I think that's very sensible.

Unless it was your in laws who did this, maybe sending 1 or 2 pictures may not be the end of the world.
However, you said
mind you they haven't even asked how she is in around 6 months
So, I suspect there is more of a backstory to this, than just pictures.

If you dont want to share pictures, that's perfectly OK.
Maybe you could say something like
"We have decided not to send pictures. We would love to see you and I'm sure child's name would love to see thier grandparents. We are free on Monday afternoon. (or whenever)."

Change her name and move house.

Some of the replies are really unfair. We don't know OPs reasons for this decision. It's going to be a tough one but you're in your rights not to share pics.

Wow the comments here are off the charts. The OP has asked her family not to share photos on social media and had her wishes disregarded and you think they're the one being unreasonable??? The entitled family member who ignored the request of the parent is the one in the wrong here.

Agreed with a pp that it feels unfair to punish the majority for the actions of an individual though. Worth reiterating your wishes on the matter and if that doesn't work then stick to sharing individually with those who have proven they can be trustworthy?

Wow

I feel so sorry for the grandparents and wider family. You sound deranged.

😂😂😂 I needed a laugh today. Absolutely ridiculous