How can I tell family(parents) we don't want to share pictures of our baby with them.

[1stpregnancywoes]

I know this may seem strange and some may disagree but it is our baby and we are very keen to make sure her privacy is paramount and she can't consent. Initially we shared images of our baby with family via WhatsApp. We told them no sharing online. One family member did not listen to this and shared the photo.
We now no longer even want to share images with family at all as people just can't be trusted.
My husband's parents have again asked to see pictures of her ( mind you they haven't even asked how she is in around 6 months (she is 6 months and 1 week old)

How can we word this? How can we tell people
We don't want to share any images of her online at all. And that when they come to our home that we do not consent to them taking pictures of her as we know they will show/share them.

Thank you in advance

Look at you finding something different to your own values yet respecting other people's preferences for their own family at the same time! Find it all the levels of weird you like but hats off to you for being a good person. What an excellent role model you are to your son and his friend and a trustworthy ally for her parents in supporting them like this. Eureka!

P.S. Maybe you could talk to her parents about your son having a polaroid of them together for his own memories as he grows up? I bought a polaroid a few years ago and always take two when we're with other people, one for us and one for them. It was a shared memory and something special for us all to keep :) x

Do you have concerns about your family and children? That is what it sounds like.

That's so OTT to stop your family from seeing your little one as they grow. It's quite selfish in fact. Open a group chat & explain that any photos you send are not to be shared or posted on SM. If anyone goes against your wishes they will be delated from the group.

But OP hasn’t said she’s stopping them? So they could visit if they wanted. Surely better than a picture? Feels like we put so much weight on photos today it makes us lazy with actually building real relationships. I wonder what people did before smart phones. People actually had to hang out in order to see their grandchildren etc grow, imagine that.

They sent photos in the post.

It was a rhetoric question, I didnt need a reply :)

I've not had chance to read every single reply, but could you use the disappearing message feature on What's App if they won't respect your wishes for not sharing on social media?

Why punish the family members that respected your wishes? I don't allow anyone to share my kids online. If they did I would just say I'm not giving you pics anymore because you went against what I told you. Say to the others, insert name isn't getting pics because they shared them online when we asked not to, so make sure you respect our wishes or you won't get them either.
Just remember that grandparents are going to want to show their friends pics of their grandkids. They're not posting them on YouTube, it's just normal family pics. You have to be a lot less intense with it or you're just going to make people angry. You don't own that baby exclusively. Their family is a part of their life too and believe me you'd be complaining if no one wanted to know them because of you.

What an awful paranoid parent

People’s reactions here are wild.
I’ve recently had a child and have been the same.
as someone who has worked in safeguarding specifically in cases around child protection it’s absolutely not an unreasonable request.
I have the same issues - people don’t listen or seem to care so have limited what/who we send to. Seems there’s people crawling out the woodwork hounding my parents and MIL for pics of my child when they’d not be able to pick me out of a line up…!
trust your gut but apologies I have no advice how to say no as I’ve been struggling with the exact same thing. They prepare you for sleepless nights and labour pains etc but never for the absolute audacity of other people once you have a child !

hope you managed to get some sort of resolution to your query ! ❤️

If she can't consent to photos, are you not taking any either?

Isn't that a ridiculous comment? - exactly, so is what you're saying.

You're acting like your baby is the reincarnation of Jesus. Please don't complain in a couple years when none of your friends of family have strong bonds with her, because it will absolutely be down to your batshit rules.

Just to add - not wanting photos online is completely sensible! Refusing to send any or let anyone take photos is insane.

It’s not insane. The baby is 6.5 months old and they’ve not seen or even asked about the baby for 6 months. This being the case then why should they send any pictures?
plus it’s her baby she can do what she wants. Anyone who wants to see the child can arrange with the parents to see them face to face. Completely baffled at people’s audacity these days at entitlement to others children.