How can I tell family(parents) we don't want to share pictures of our baby with them.

[1stpregnancywoes]

I know this may seem strange and some may disagree but it is our baby and we are very keen to make sure her privacy is paramount and she can't consent. Initially we shared images of our baby with family via WhatsApp. We told them no sharing online. One family member did not listen to this and shared the photo.
We now no longer even want to share images with family at all as people just can't be trusted.
My husband's parents have again asked to see pictures of her ( mind you they haven't even asked how she is in around 6 months (she is 6 months and 1 week old)

How can we word this? How can we tell people
We don't want to share any images of her online at all. And that when they come to our home that we do not consent to them taking pictures of her as we know they will show/share them.

Thank you in advance

Sadly this is not as true as you'd think. My nephew's are now young adults having grown up in the era of having every milestone shared online. The bullying that comes from finding random baby photos, first day of school whatever etc can be awful. Haircuts, fashion choices, they'll find anything to mock! My family haven't ever shared on social media so not affecting them personally, but it's definitely happening in the wider cohort.

You are being ridiculous

This is very strange

If they're more concerned about bragging rights than you and your baby then you are not being unreasonable.

Stop sharing pictures with the person who posted on social media

Continue sharing pictures with others but reiterate no public sharing please

I'm with you OP. We told our families from the start that nothing was to go on Facebook/IG. They've all respected our wishes so we share photos freely via WhatsApp. I have a good family!

If any of them went rogue, I'd ask them to take it down and not to do it again, and give them one last chance, being clear that further sharing would lead to them not receiving any more photos. Make sure they're clear on consequences. Then if they refused to take the photo down, or they did but later did it again, I'd stop sending them anything. I'd regretfully create a new group for photo sharing without them in it. I would hate to do this, but if they'd twice shown they don't care about my child's welfare then I would have to step up and defend them.
I would still send text updates and non-identifiable photos (such as cute feet or child doing an activity where face isn't really visible) and I'd show them photos in person too.

You’ve said one family member shared a photo. While that’s not ok, it does seem quite a leap from there to refusing to share any photos at all with family.

If they are people you really cannot trust with a photo of your child, I cannot understand why you are even in contact with them.

With consent… well, she can’t consent to you taking photos either, can she? But you’re taking photos for yourselves?

Bonkers. What do you think will actually happen if a photo of your baby ends up online? Can you explain?

why not use the photo feature on WhatsApp where you can just view once and not fwd/not screenshot? We use it with our children if we are sharing cute bathtime photos with close family (so rarely) just in case someone thinks appropriate to fwd on. There’s nothing to stop you using it all the time if it makes you more comfortable.

Good god 🤣🤣

It would really piss me off if I was you op. I don’t want my kids face plastered all over social media and he appreciates it now he is 15 and also doesn’t post selfies etc

I went no contact with my dad 20 years ago and did not want pictures of me being shared with him, but family decided to overrule my wishes and harvested images of me from social media and family events and shared them where he could see them. It still fucks me off. The point is, if you told somebody not to do it and they do it anyway it’s fucking annoying.

however, the second moral of that story is there is actually not much you can do about it because people will get the pictures and some people feel compelled to show their Facebook audiences every last tedious thing they do.

I think you should tell the person you mean business, but just continue to share images with friends and family on WhatsApp and accept that one or two are going to slip the net.

if it starts happening again, continue to share images, but moving forward, make sure she is in full fancy dress for each one, so her actual face is not visible

I'm sorry I get the no online thing but not sharing pictures off their grandchild with them is absolutely over the top .

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-67344916

You sound really approachable OP. Wonder why they haven’t felt they can ask if your baby is OK in six months.

Likely nothing in the immediate moment however more and more parents are acutely aware of their 'digital footprint' and the fact that they're responsible for their DC's until they're old enough. No saying if that person will grow up to be a prolific user of social media who doesn't mind sharing the inner workings of their life or someone who would prefer to stay as anonymous as possible. These parents seem to think it's their child's choice and are choosing to limit what goes online without the child's consent whilst they're young. Some would view this as sensible and responsible parenting. Just not many of those people on this thread it would seem.

Just tell them that you don't want to share any photos with them. You're the parents and it's your decision.

They will probably think you're batshit and they might decide that they can't be arsed to engage with you, but if you're happy to deal with the consequences of your rather extreme approach to parenting, then crack on and do as you think fit.

Just keep in mind that you can control your own actions and decisions, but you can't control how others choose to respond. You might just find that they decide you're too much like hard work, and that would be a shame if your dc then missed out on relationships with her extended family.

Don't you want your dc to have loving family relationships?

You're being precious and mad quite frankly. For goodness sake, show them some photos.

Print off some pictures and send hard copies.

I don’t know how to do it, but isn’t there a way to share pictures on WhatsApp that you view them once and then they disappear?

this way your family could see her but they cannot share it on social media.

That's just mad. if you don't trust the person who did share a photo then don't give them anymore photos. But everyone else shouldnt be punished because of one foolish person. Unless you are famous. Are you famous?

Yes and going forward in the long run sadly it gets more and more difficult when there are class WhatsApps etc where photos which feature multiple children are shared and there's basically no limiting what those parents then choose to do with the images which feature their child, even if yours is also in it.

Our nursery and school have a 'no sharing on social media as you don't know the wishes of the other families' policy, but I know it's regularly ignored.

Madness but here u go-

1:- you could FaceTime then instead if you don't want to send pics

2:- u can send pics with the view once function so they can only view once

Surely it's nice they are taking an interest and want to see pics?

How sad. I know she's just a baby, but can't you already imagine how sad you'd be if one day, when she has children, she said to you that you weren't allowed any photos?