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Parenting

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I don't want my 5 year old anymore

831 replies

icann · 31/08/2024 17:10

I'm using a throwaway. Judge me all you want but I need some serious advice

I have 2 children..one who is 5 and who just gone 3.
My 5 year old is going into year 1..strongly suspected ADHD or autism. But the channels of diagnosis move slow. I'm sure it will crop up but no I cannot afford private

Right where to start. She's aggressive. I'm covered in cuts and bruises and scratches. My 3 year old is the same. She attacks her or me for the slightest infraction. Hitting, biting, screaming. The abuse she gives me. She laughs while she's doing it like it's funny. It's not. My 3 year old is terrified of her.

She doesn't listen. Does what the hell she wants. Nothing I say works. Nothing I say sinks in.

She doesn't sleep. She's awake till half 11 plus most nights. We've had the same bedtime routine since she was like a baby. Nothing works. Story, bath. Doesn't sleep. Just awake. Screaming abuse and hitting me and kicking me.

Speaks to me like I'm a slave. Her attitude stinks.

Refuses to go to school. God knows how ill get her there next week. Every morning is a battle. I've tried having a routine, getting her uniform sorted. Nothing works.

My 3 year old is losing all the time. Days out ruined. Can't watch her programme, can't play with her toys, can't do anything for fear of getting hurt. I watch them both like a hawk but inevitably my 3 year old comes out worse.

I don't want to do this. I don't see why I should. Yes she's my daughter but unconditional love only goes so far. I feel like scooping my 3 year old up and going as far away as possible. Dad is on the scene but works 5 days a week. 10 to 12 hour days. He has the same behaviour..

I've got a black eye and my daughter is currently sat with another bite mark from her sister. What's she going to be like at 8? Or 10? Or 14? The gp put her on a waiting list. The wait in my area is up to 4 years. I can't do this. I am.so broken and I have a 3 year old to think of.

Please help

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Makingchocolatecake · 17/09/2024 23:00

Look up emotion coaching

ReadingInTheRain583 · 01/10/2024 20:02

@icann not sure if you're still around, but have been thinking of you and your family often and wondering how you're all getting on 💐

Sprogonthetyne · 02/10/2024 08:20

ReadingInTheRain583 · 01/10/2024 20:02

@icann not sure if you're still around, but have been thinking of you and your family often and wondering how you're all getting on 💐

www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/5175812-update-to-i-dont-want-my-five-year-old?reply=138649251

OP has a new thread, unfortunately things don't seem to be going well Sad

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hbbjhhhh · 02/10/2024 10:36

icann · 02/09/2024 18:56

But how do I send her to nursery covered in bruises and bites? What do I say to them?

OP, maybe the nursery can document the injuries to your youngest and this can be used to help push for urgent help.

best wishes.

Cornishclio · 02/12/2024 20:05

I agree it sounds like some sort of ND and normal discipline will not help. It sounds like she is masking heavily at school then exploding at home in her safe space. It is not her fault so although it must be so difficult try not to set her up as a "naughty" child. Low demand parenting, giving her choices and pick your battles. The aggressiveness is the one thing you should tackle particularly towards your toddler. Identifying her triggers will help.

Aria999 · 02/12/2024 21:54

Here's the new thread

Update to 'I don't want my five year old' www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/5175812-update-to-i-dont-want-my-five-year-old

New posts on this thread. Refresh page