First time mums who have jobs requiring them to work 80-120hrs a week - advice please

[wowihaveagardennow]

I've just been given an interview for my dream job which I have been trying to get for a few years now. I apply to these posts as and when they pop up and sort of do it on autopilot.

However, for the first time in my life I am unsure about it. I am a first time mum, at the end of extending my maternity leave. It was extended because a) I have separation anxiety b) could afford to take a little longer c) I genuinely considered taking off another year but then backtracked because I was worried it would be too tricky for me to get back into work d) I need more time to find childcare that I'm happy with. Anyway, after a lot of indecision, I've decided I would like to try with my career and not become a SAHM.

I want to cry when I think about leaving DC to someone else for almost the entire day. But women need to still work and babies get looked aftered is what I'm telling myself.

And so that's the background. I know it's only an interview and I may not get the job but the job description says to be willing to work weekends and evenings. Is this possible? For anyone that's done this, did it really negatively impact your relationship/bonding with your child? And most importantly, how did you make it work? What sort of childcare did you use?

I would love any advice here. I grew up with one parent always at home and I don't really know anybody who is climbing the corporate ladder so to speak and I have no idea how mums do this (or maybe it's rare and mums just don't go there because it's not the right time!)

TIA x

I am in no way the person who your post is aimed at (I was a SAHM) but I would presume that a nanny would be the only way to go if you were successful in getting this job.

Live in nanny and work from home?

the whole prospect sounds horrible though. Who would ever want to work that much? Life is for living.

Surely they don't mean you have to work between 80 and 120 hours a week?! That's insane. Or is it that it's a FT job (so c.35 hours per week) but that some of it may be in the evenings and weekends? If it's the former, I'd need to be paid well in excess of £1m a year to even consider it.

What on earth involves working this many hours?

80-120 hours a week? Are you sure? I only ask because that's more than double the average working week and, sorry to say, would be impossible to maintain.

That sounds insane...

Are you applying to be the next Prime Minister?

Nobody should be doing this kind of hours.

Well the obvious answer is for dad , if around, to become a SAHP.

Considering there are only 168 hours in a week those hours are insane

That cannot be right. There’s only 168 hours total in a week so 120 of them at work means after work there’s only 6.8 hours left in each day and that’s supposed to cover you for commuting, sleeping, eating, showering, dressing, whatever life admin, not to mention seeing your kid??!

I don't think anyone does six lots of a twenty hour day each week, just not enough time for sleep.

So you'd be working between 11 - 17 hours per day, 7 days a week? Why would you consider that even if you didn't have a baby?

80-120 hour weeks would be impossible unless you have full time childcare and a partner working 'normal' hours. You would also be sacrificing being the 'default' parent. The stress, pressure and guilt that comes with it could lead to burn out.

That would involve working 7 days a week from 6am to 11pm. Surely that's not a thing?

I've had phases where I work 60-80 hours a week and it's life-ruiningly exhausting for me, whether or not kids are in the picture.

120 hours a week is 17 hours a day 7 days a week. That's not a job, that's your whole life.

How many hours? That just doesn't sound viable long term, when will you have time to do anything else?

A full 40 hour week is hard enough, 80 I don't see how I could have done, 120 inconceivable. Why even have a baby? I get that some careers, like law don't acknowledge family friendly working but if that's the case then yes I'd say the career will have to wait. Perhaps find something part time or with less responsibility to keep a foot in the ladder until kids are at school?

Fuck that. Enjoy your baby instead

Junior lawyer in US firm? Don’t do it

Are you sure the hours are right?

Regardless, bring in outside help eg a nanny, housekeeper, get DH to do his/her share.

Working hours are insane, are these the required contract hours or the expected over and above?
Completely unsustainable.

As a mom I go for roles that do not expect me to do that. Okay to work a little extra occasionally, hell no daily or even few days a week.
Of course it would negatively affect your relationship to your child, you self esteem, and you would question yourself why did you have them in the first place.
That is unless you are comfortable to offload all of it to a nanny or SAHM dad.

Those hours can’t be right. If they are no job is worth it.

I'm asking the same as the others, are you sure the hours are right? Do they actually just mean shift work where you'd work 35-40 hours over a week but could be evenings and weekends?

No job is worth 80+ hours a week, I say that as someone who regularly works 50/60

literally no employment is worth that, not for any amount of money

I think the OP is trying to imply work + looking after her own child is 120hrs of "work"

It is horrible to class spending time and caring for the child you chose to have as "work"