How much do you talk to parents at the school gate?

[posieflump]

Or do you just drop off and leg it?!!

No I talk to them cos they're my friends, they'd think I was being weird if I didn't (small primary school).

drop and leg it

I have talked to about half the other mums in ds nursery class. Quite hard not to when you have to wait to be let in and also to pick up.

There's a few people I talk to alot, and others I just say hello to. I make quite an effort to be as friendly as possible, my theory being that parents being on good terms with eachother cascades down and helps make the school a happier place for all.

I talk in the pm when picking up,like a nice chat and a laugh with the other mums.Not so much in the am though.

I don't do drop off very much. I do pick up and I will say hi and have a little chat with whoever is waiting. Have made a really friend via school so often chat with her too.

I see all my friends at school/ nursery drop off/pick up and it can be the only time I speak to grown ups all day.

drop and run (like the wind)

what is the upside of talking? I already know the people I have something in commn with (the other lawyers, a couple of gps, a geography lecturer and an accountant).

It's a posh school and the designer clothes competition is simply ferocious. There's also lots of botox, some serious boob-work, and at least two facelifts.

Not to mention the dreary arguments and factions over who should do what at the school fete, the quiet triumphant smiles as Tarquin gets the rugger prize ...

Gosh, I'd drop and run like the wind too Quattrocento, if that were my child's school gate scenario. Why are they doing drop offs though, don't the nanny and chauffeur combo take care of that ?

I do chat a little whilst we are waiting to drop off but I can't spare extra time for it after drop off as I do have to dash off once ds is safely inside the classroom door. I'm networking on ds1's behalf plus I know what it was like to be bullied in secondary school and I think school gate cliques can be reminiscent of school days in that respect so I make sure I talk to those sidelined by the main movers and keep them in the loop too.

I don't do make-up at the school gates and my hair is seldom under control but I can do small talk with people who were once complete strangers. I also have a mole in the main group who periodically updates me as to what the latest big moan/bitching topic is.

I do think the best thing to do is chat to people.

My problem is that I am so shy and can never think of much to say even though I would love to chat away.

I probably share a small amount of conversation with one or two.
I do try but I find it so difficult.

A quick hello etc as I zoom past. Occasionally I walk back with a couple of mums. I'm just as happy on my own though, I like the peace and quiet.

My dc like to run about a bit after school and I end up talking to a couple of mums whilst they do that.

Tbh I'd rather get going. I don't really like standing about talking for the sake of it and inwardly I'm itching to leave - no reflection on the company I just don't enjoy nattering for ages - but dc like to burn off some energy.

I stay well away from any potential cliquery although to be fair I don't really see any of it going on. All our mums look fairly normal too. I'm not aware of any fashion snobbery; we all look as untrendy as each other as far as I can see.

i don't really talk to other mums tbh because i'm quite shy in rl. plus they all have loads in common with each other (kids go to scouts,swimming club etc) so i find it really hard to find anything to say to them.

lol at quattro's schoolgate list of professions,do you all wear name badges with your profession on them...sounds horrendous

I say hello to a few people, but on the whole I'm usually running late, so it's run, grab and leave, most afternoons.

I do talk as much as possible. Find it difficult but I would like the other parents to see ds and I as people rather than ds as a problem child and me as the irresponsible mother of such a child. I would prefer to walk naked over hot coals chased by swarms of wasps but sadly no one has offered this alternative as yet.

Actually let's be really honest - I'm usually running late because I leave it until the last minute so I don't have to make conversation I'm awful at small talk.

thanks for the replies so far
just wondered what those working FT do if nanny / childminder does school run
how do you manage the social aspect of it all

"It's a posh school and the designer clothes competition is simply ferocious. There's also lots of botox, some serious boob-work, and at least two facelifts."

And that's just the dads, badoom-TISH.

I usually keep myself to myself - in morning s I drop and run because, astonishingly enough as it may seem to some of the parents there, some of us have work to go to. And funnily enough, work doesn't stop at 3.30pm when I collect them either. I feel like saying this as I push my way trough the gaggles of gossiping mothers with nothing better to do who are BLOCKING THE WAY.

I talk to load of people. But then again, I'm a CM and have minded a lot of them, and quite a few are my Rainbow Guides too.

Not going to be talking to any of them from Friday. Its my last school run ever!

My nanny is infinitely more popular than me at the school gates as she is widely recognised as One of the Nicest People in the World and the Fount Of All Knowledge. She is the same age as me, ergo the same age as the other mums, so that helps.

She always keeps me up to speed with any titbits of information, so when I do drop off or pick up I just have to scan through it in my mind and edit it of comment .

We are very lucky that in DS's class of 20 odd there are about 6-8 nannies and all are very nice and friendly: there isn't a particular mother/nanny divide, other than one mother who will not speak to my nanny at all.

Yes well I do have to confess that my contribution to pick ups and drop offs is limited to one day a week ..

posie, you asked: "just wondered what those working FT do if nanny / childminder does school run
how do you manage the social aspect of it all".

Like Quattro, I only do the school run pick up once a week, aupair does the rest. I too don't really chat. My dd flings herself at me once she sees me!

No reason, except the mothers seem to already know each other, majority being SAHMs. I imagine they are arranging weekday playdates that I cannot reciprocate, lol.

I use dd's parties for talking to other parents. But it is a slow process. Partly because I am quite a self-sufficient person.

I also do the drop-off everyday at the 7:30 breakfast club. And there I do chat with the few parents with dds in the same class as dd. I feel a greater camaraderie when waiting in the darkness for the doors to open. As most of them are WOHPs. I also feel a greater bond with parents at my ds' day nursery because again they tend to be WOHPs.

I don't really have anything against SAHMs and will be very happy to chat if one of them came up to me. I think it is just the feeling of kinship with other WOHPs - including the unspoken understanding of being in the trenches and the need to dash.

I don't feel like I'm in the trenches. I feel like I'm in no-man's land ....

lol, Quattro. My children are below 5, so I have yet to come out of the trenches.

I can imagine I won't always want to stay around and chat too.
I always seem to be the first to leave playgroup