How much do you talk to parents at the school gate?

[posieflump]

Or do you just drop off and leg it?!!

Not all mums at the school gate think like Callan.

I have been there to pick dd up from school a lot in the past 2 years & the other mums/dads have all been lovely. Nice & friendly & chatty.

Now I have started a full time job I will still be able to do the drop off but not the pick up.... I'm a bit worried they will all ignore me at sports days now!!!!

not having time to talk does distance you. i do "drop off and leg it" so no one at the nursery gates knows how i think, always say "Hi" if face to face, other than that this is the first time i've mentioned it so will not take responsibility for "not helping" the mums that have posted saying they feel it difficult to chat. i don't "sneer", i just think to myself, surely that's still alowed? and the question was asked at the beginnig of this post.

'Tracky bums, no make up and no aspiration'.

It does come across as sneering, rather.
I hope being a SAHM does not mean I lack aspiration.

I have had some comments from one rather hostile mum myself, along the lines of
'I could never live off my husbands income, its just not me'.

Fair enough, but I would never dream of passing comment if she couldnt go to class assembly or on a trip because of her work commitments.

Live and let live, and all that....

i would love to be a SAHM, aspiration doesn't necessarily have to relate to the workplace.
the one thing i can manage is always making it to an assembly/play/charity event at nursery, that goes without saying and is what "miscellaneous" appointments exist for in work diaries, as far as i'm concerned.
if we could all live off my husband's salary, happy days, but the stark truth is we can't so i'm forced to work.
live and let live and all the political correctness that comes with it, not being able to say what we think is a travesty incase someone takes offence. i'm positive i unintentionally offend people all the time and am sure they don't hold off on passing judgement because they should "live and let live".
it's all good fun

Live and let live, and all that....

I agree bit sadly of late,there seems to be a lack of that on this site and I am starting to get a bit

When we started at reception, I soon gelled with a few Mums plus a few I knew already. Some others seemed awfully stand-offish and rude. Later on I realised these were the ones who had older children in other classes and even other schools, so were having to drop and run in several directions. (We drop at each classroom door). Also they had already built up friendships with Mums of older children, and already knew the routine of bookbags, PE Kits etc., so didn't need to hang around so much. I have gradually become friendly with most of them, though you can't really be BFs with 30 sets of parents.

I'm sue callan didn't mean to cause offence ladies.
I'm a SAHM (mostly - I work one day a week) but I don't wear trackies or fleece so i didn't take offence

sure, not sue. Must read post carefully before posting.

I have got some tracky bottoms that I wear for slobbing about house in.I might wear them tomorrow and see if anyone will talk to me!!

Don't write off the mum with tracky bums and no make up on.
There is a mum like that who has a dd in my dd's class.
I have befriended this mum.

She works in CID. She has the best sense of humour I have ever come across (you'd have to after dealing with death and violence during the day), she is the first one up for a night out, and is the one who keeps the group laughing long after we should have all headed home. She is the most kind, caring and compassionate person I know, taking time to help anyone who needs it.

So yes, after a 12 hour shift, which invariably involved a dead body, she stands in teh school playground with a haggard look upon her face, pale blue joggers on, and [gasp] a fleece.

But do not for a second assume she has let herself go.
She has not.

But we can't all be so shallow that we need to glamorize ourselves in order to be interesting.

Sorry, just had to get that of my chest. I hate snap judgements on people based on what they wear!

Great post hippipotami.

Politically correct I am not, but slating someones appearance is not political incorrectness, just plain rude.

Dont feel you need to defend the fact that you work,callan, but equally dont be disrespectful about others' lifestyle choices.

i think being rude and saying what you see are 2 very different things.

i didn't mean to cause offence, just telling day to day life as i see it. i don't feel that pointing out a trend of several people who dress the same can be classed as "slating", i was not focusing on a person imparticular, rather outlinig a whole genre. that's done in the press and by sit coms/soap operas daily. a human trait that we can't hide by being polite. besides, if we all spoke nicely, said nice things and disagreed in a nice manner a posting site like this would have very few people kept interested enough to take part.

just popping off to slip out of my tracksuit into my fleece pyjamas, not a scrap of makeup on to require removal, the weather's been lovely today!

Beat you to it ,callan, already in head to toe fleece and off to watch Jeremy Kyle repeats.

No offence taken

The parents at the gate get a fleeting glimpse of me in a fleece and no makeup every morning. I then go to work, leave my fleece in the car and put on my make up in the loo.

Hmm, after reading all this wonder what everyone at our playschool thinks of me - never knew there was an issue with fleece (wear every morning, tho no tracky bottoms). And have not worn makeup since school discos . But then I think I'm the local curio - foreign mum in small rural village - so probably they just think all English mums wear fleece and are Waynetta Slobs .

Crap at small talk but somehow always manage to have 100 people to at least say hello to in the cloakroom. I'm one of those awful get-involved-with-everything types that everybody runs a mile from so I meet lots of people that way.

Am workaholic but at home so don't even possess a suit.
But I'm happy with me, love my life, love the playschool, love that my DD is popular (I never was - get the violins out) so I've always got a smile on my face and I think that's important.

I've just realised another benefit of our school. Most of the parents are Muslim, and don't judge other mothers for not being glamourous or wearing fashionable clothes.

If I had to face that kind of pressure at the school gate I'd move my DC to another school.

I talk A LOT

to everyone

I like them all (mums and teachers)

I sometimes wear a fleece and no make up and my horrible glasses and muddy wellies

sometimes I look fabulous

thems the breaks

to the op - one of my friends works fulltime and does one or two drop/off/pick up a week - we all like her enormously because she makes an effort to come over and say hello - do you fancy a quick coffee etc

she is lovely and that is the way to do it - be brave and chat to the others when you have a chance - you dont have to be identical - i like to hear her office gossip - always very interesting!

Actually Mimizan this is the same at DS school, which suits me right down to the ground. For most of the other Mums English is not their first language so we nod and smile and thats about it. I much prefer not having to face the playground mafia every morning.

ALMummy, it's great isn't it? I think it's a haven in a world of competition about who has the most material possessions, who is the cleverest, who is the most popular etc.

I've met some of the most genuine, caring people ever since the DC started at that school.

Who on earth cares what anyone wears at the school gates - that's the kind of thing that drives me mad about the school run : are we all back in the sixth form?? And who cares who works or who stays at home - I've done both and don't feel like either is morally or socially superior. I've met some lovely mums, but some of the cliquiness and oneupmumship makes me wish these women would grow up and realise it's the kids who are at school, not us!

riven that must be hard.

Hope you meet nice people throught he new school.