How much do you talk to parents at the school gate?

[posieflump]

Or do you just drop off and leg it?!!

I don't do drop-off as i have to get to work and the children are encouraged to go in by themselves without parents hovvering around.

I do pick-up every day. Depends on my mood. Sometimes i am Mrs Vivacious and will talk to all and sundry. Othertimes I'm the one who skulks at the back with my mp3, counting the seconds until the dsses appear and we can offski.

oh there are a few mums who piss me off as even though I see them every day for past 5 years, still will not speak to me...or allow me to speak to them!

Good oh!
You can stay in your pyjamas for longer then!!

I also really really dislike the superior attitude re clothing, have these people never heard of not judging a book by its cover?
As for me, when ds started his new school in year 2, we walked into the playground and didn't know a soul. Took a deep breath, (I'm actually quite shy but can cover it up by talking loads!!) and tried to start a conversation with those around me. And it worked, I've made loads of aquaintances to have a chat with, and also made three of the best friends ever, we've grown so close over the last 6 years we're more like sisters, they're amazing

Riven - I'd talk to you at the school gates. I enjoy getting to know everyone in DS class regardless of dress / career etc. When I was working I could be all coiffed and made up and now I am on maternity - if I have time I am and if not, I'm not. If I can't be happy about my body and face sans maquillage and groovy clothes at 33, when will I eh? None of us are in 6th form anymore - thank fuck!

Hubby drops 4 days per week so I only go to the playground one day per week. Very few of the mums work so they see each other everyday and have already formed their 'gangs'.

On my last visit one group of roughly 8 were discussing not letting their children attend a little girls birthday party in the class because they tought her mother was a 'selfish bitch'??

I just thought they were plain horrible and nasty. Just because our children go to school together I'm not prepared to make an effort with such spitefulnes.

I have to add that during my working days, I'm always immaculate in suit, co-ordinating jewellery, heels, make up, brief case etc - however I adore my Thursdays when I through my jeans, fleece and trainers on

Chipstick - those women sound evil and childish. Imagine boycotting a child's party out of spite - they need to grow up themselves! I have just started taking my autistic boy to mainstream school, and was terrified of what the mums would be like at the gates, but actually they have all been very accepting and nice. And practically the whole class came to his recent party. Some of those mums at your gate sound like ignorant bs and thank god hubby goes most days so you don't have to listen to their banale chatter!

Riven - I would chat to you and your dd at the school gates too, hope this term passes quickly for you both.

Chipstick - these women are horrible and hopefully their dc's shame them and ask why they're not going to their friend's party. Then again as my mum says 'you can't educate pork'.

dd starts school in September, dp will do the drop off and pick ups as I'm a WOHM. Looks like I'll just have to take a deep breath and wade in chatting when I'm dropping her off at the school gates. At nursery we're all in too much of a hurry to chat, sadly.

I think if you do something regularly its nice to chat, whether that is talking to the mums at the gate or chatting to the receptionist/people in other departments at work or saying hi to the man at the drycleaner's or the woman who sells coffee at the train station. One of the nice things about having children is you have more of an excuse to chat.

Sometimes I am in a hurry, but I wouldn't not chat in principle.

Have only done nursery drop off so far though, and haven't encountered any drop off nightmares mentioned on the rest of the thread.

DCs and I very sociable with everyone - suits, fleecys, whatever. My children are in Yr 1 & Reception and line-up outside so much nicer to stay than drop & go (DS1 would do a runner if I left early anyway).

And being sociable pays off - I have a month of school runs organised for when DC4 is bought.

bought? I mean born! Tho' the former sounds much easier.

i guess im the most unsociable person in the school playground,i cannot relate to the mums there at all.....
my DC are moving schools in spetember and i cant wait
i know this sounds weird and i may get a lot of flack from this but i moved last year and the only place i could get them in was in a school in a lets say area where %90 are single parents who dont work hang around smokin around the school gates,and i usually hear them talking about whos going to which club friday night.....i guess i just dont fit in.....dont smoke done drink and im a teacher...so they keep there distance and dont really speak to me anyway
looking forward to the change of schools for both me and my DC
hope you all understand where im coming from on this one

I take my lo to a nice small village school, my attitude is I shall chat to anyone - even a very nice polish lady who doesnt speak English hardly at all - does not stop me though somehow we have a sort of understanding!! occasionally though I find WAY to much information is revealled by some of these ladies - really do not need to know little Ellie's/ Daniel's/ Whoever's mum bought a rampant rabbit at last nights Ann Summers party iyswim!! There was a big row between two mums last week - gave everyone the chance to have plenty to talk about or not to talk about, whatever floats their boat... undeniably some mums get on my wick.

Im new to posting on this site, but have been receiving the emails for year - i love them - and with regard to picking and dropping - i do the run in the morning but childminder does the 3.30 p.m. bit. I talk to the mums in the morning and they're great, and we get together quite a lot too, which reflects greatly on the children, as they all get along too. i have to say I miss ds at 3.30 and wish it was me there instead of her.

I suppose it just depends on the group of mums you get - if there's a couple of bitches in the mix, they can make for cliques and an unpleasant atmosphere. I don't think you have to apologise for not getting on with this gang of mums disneystar: if you've got nothing in common then there's no point faking it. I quite like this game when there's a clique forming - going right up into the middle of it and chatting really friendlily as if I hadn't noticed they were standing apart, quite clearly badmouthing everyone else beyond schoolgirl hands held to mouths. It catches them off guard and they don't know what to do so they have to just be friendly back. It sometimes helps that I'm so ancient, and tbh I could be the mum to some of the mums in the playground, so I don't care what anyone wears or feel the need to compete on who has the wildest social life.

I have to tell what happened outside the school when DD started in September.

DD is new to the school not having been to the pre-school there and we live out of area ao DD and I knew no-one. After a few weeks my Mum asked to come with me to pick DD up from school. We got there and sat outside in the car (as I always did as I didn't know anyone yet). Anyway, my Mum says lets get out so I can show her where DD's classroom is etc... so we get out of the car. We are standing away from the group of Mum's all chatting.

I turn round and my Mum walks staright up to them all and says really loudly 'you'll speak to my daughter won't you, she doesn't know anyone here and is very lonely'

I wante dto ground to open up and swallow me. After a few nervous hello's from the other Mum's we were saved by the kids coming out.

I speak to all the other Mum's now and they take great pleasure in reminding me what my Mother did

what a great mum!

I drop my ds off at prep school, and pick him up, and it's scary. We have to wait in the playground for the children to come out, and I either talk to Mr Nobody, or talk to one of the nannies whom I get on very well with. There are a couple of mummies who are nice, but it's mostly handbags, Botox, 4x4s and skiing holidays (sorry if that offends anyone - I'm sure it's possible to have all these things and be nice as well!) The mummies take one look at my gardening-cum-SAHM gear and look the other way!!! Plus we walk to school, which automatically makes us weird...

I'll talk to anyone and I mean ANYONE!!! Men, women, small children, dogs, cats, birds even.

I don't give a crap about what someone is wearing, if you smile in my direction I am there!!!

Riven, I know where you're coming from. I take dd1 to school with dd2 who has SLD in her Major buggy. I have more trouble with some of the less pleasant boys in dd1's class laughing at dd2. One of the Mums told me she thought dd2 was just lazy and wouldn't get out of her buggy (she can't walk)

I talk to anyone that's around. There are some pretty serious glamour pusses there but by my reckoning judging someone for being well-turned out is as bad as judging someone for being make-up-less and in a sweatie.

More often than not on the school run days, I dress down (a lot) as I'm suited and booted on the non-school run days. I fully understand though, that if you don't WOTH then doing the school run is your 'job' and getting dressed up is just part and parcel of that.

I do always wear make up though

The mums and dads at school are lovely in the main, people that I am more than happy to spend time with.

Numbersix - I know how you feel - I often feel 'out of the loop' too. But you MUST invite these children to your house for the sake of your dd. You can't make them invite her to theirs, but you can invite them to yours, so at least dd might not feel so out of the loop herself.

I agree with you Foofi, Numbersix you need to put your battle face on and get over this shyness. It will be rewarded with the face on your dd. It will be hard - but only initially.