How much do you talk to parents at the school gate?

[posieflump]

Or do you just drop off and leg it?!!

I absolutely hate the awkward standing around trying to make conversation so I deliberately get there just on time for drop off and pick up. Is this shameful then?
I make polite conversation with strangers all day at work. Perhaps thats why I don't like it the rest of the time!

I definitely chat to other mothers, and to grandmothers, grandfathers and other family members (fathers rarely linger if they show up at all - they do morning drop offs but in a big hurry).

I also do the walk back across the park regularly with other mothers.

I don't chat to nounous much - that's (mostly) another world.

My dd starts school in September and I am horrified at the thought of all this. I was a bit of a loner at school and was bullied for being a "snob" apparently and although I now have quite a senior level job and manage people all the time I do find that I get quite uncomfortable making small talk out of work and like one of the other mums said overcompensate and become a laughing gabbling fool. Hubby and I aren't from the area originally and both commute a distance to work so haven't made any friends locally and I'm worried that lack of popularity and not being in a clique (I won't have time for staying to chat cos of work) means that DD will be left out of the cold too. I have offered my services (!) for fundraising, PTA etc with the School to help with this but worried in case that's all cliquey and horrid too! It's bad enough that dd is going to school (separate thread) without all the anxiety of a popularity contest too!!!

NUMBBERSIX, I can lend you my Mother........................... read earlier posting

NUMBERSIX thats a valid point about having the children over without there parents or carers,sometimes my boys are invited over to tea by a school friend but i dont let them go
you see i barely know the child let alone the parent i might have said hi but thats it
i am not going to trust someone else to take care of my child for a few hours whom i barely know.........
ok i might be holding them back in a way but i cant trust people anymore
years ago my daughter was 8 and went to a friends house for tea to cut a long story short the friends step father befriended her and after several visits he raped her at 8 years old
im sorry if i have upset anyone with this info but this is my reason why we do not have "can i go to whoevers house for tea tonight"
we have plenty of play and supervised activity (i police check everyone)yes i know it can be called paranoia,the boys joined cubs i check them all even the mums who help out on a rota system
and i cant personally i make sure the organization has done so and there up to date records
after saying this i do have there friends over to my house if the parent is happy with this.my house is always bursting at the seams
and im forever organizing what they are going to do,so i dont think the boys miss out to much

Drop off is easy, it's the 5 minutes you are waiting for the kids to come thundering out that's torture.

I made friends with another mum and then her dd decided she didn't want to play with ds anymore (all in the space of a week) and the dd is just so rude about being in the same space as ds (so if I am talking to the mum she won't join us) that I try to say hi and then wait somewhere else so ds doesn't hear her moan about him.

I had no friends at school and made them all at church, brownies or orchestra so I guess that ds is taking after me. He has lots of really good friends, but has found making friends at school difficult. .

A small school has lots of advantages, but this is a real downside.

God, disneystar, how terrible for you, I am not at all surprised you don't let your kids go to strangers' houses!

First time that I've ever posted - but this subject has been worrying me for ages now. DS1 is in reception, and I only speak to a couple of the mums in the playground. I'm really shy and find it hard to speak to people first. Cliques formed back in nursery, and because I'm not in them, I'm worried that it will affect my son at school. Can it lead to your child being bullied or left out if, as a parent, you're not very talkative in the schoolyard?

I don't think it makes a single bit of difference to the kids whether the mums talk to each other, Joblerone. Kids make their own friends, and I know I worried about this at first but as the years have gone on I've seen that my daughter makes her own friends and I am pretty irrelevant to that process. In fact sometimes I arrange playdates with a kid, not because she is friends with the child but because I am friends with the mum - my DD gets on with it ok, but is a bit bemused when some kid she hardly speaks to turns up at the house for 2 hours!! Don't you worry, cliques of mums are a bore and to be avoided!

I do a quick chat with some of them, but seem to have been pulled into a friendship with one o them that is starting to grate on me at the moment.

can any 1 enlighten me on dd or ds?
i hate the school run and my son is only at pre school!!
i live in a dead clicky village!!

Darling daughter or darling son chefstress. Women in cliques are a pain, they're kids not adults

Update - a miracle has occurred, I was invited to the inner sanctum of a coffee morning.

it was okay.