Am I wrong for not taking 3 year old to hospital?

[sugaryouth1]

I know the title seems bad but here's the background

My daughter is 3. She's been ill non stop for about 6 weeks. Low fever, chesty cough, cold symptoms. She's just been diagnosed with slapped cheek as well. So she has a bright red face and a rash.
I took her back to the doctor today because nursery sent her home as she had a new rash. It is just the slapped cheek as the rash can come and go. But nursery have said she needs to see a doctor or she can't come back.

Anyway we went to the doctor and she was really condescending. Told me I've been to the doctor 4 times this month and that maybe she's okay and I'm not. It really upset me to be honest. Anyway she listened to her chest and said she could hear a crackle but she didn't want to give her any more antibiotics as she's had a couple already. Fine. I'm not the sort of parent that demands antibiotics. .they want her to go to the hospitals CAT unit to see a paediatrician.

I have some issues.

1. I can't get there without a taxi. I cannot afford a taxi. Its almost 20 quid and it's money I don't have. The public transport is few and fair between

1. I don't think she needs to. She's currently running around my house absolutely mental and destroying it and the idea of sitting there and waiting for 10 plus hours like last time fills me with dread

1. Again the last time she was there she caught covid and flu making her even more poorly and meaning she missed nursery and I missed work

Don't get me wrong, if she was sick I'd of course take her. Am I going to get into trouble for not taking her? Is there anything else I can be doing? I usually will always listen to the doctor and of course If she was sick I'd take her. I just don't know what to do

She's been ill for 6 weeks, you've been to the doctors 4 times, but you won't take her to hospital which they have recommended

Yes, YABU, you should take her

I think you’d be very unreasonable not to if I’m honest. Your DD has been sick for a long time and if you truly had no concerns about this then you wouldn’t have taken her to the GP, never mind 4 times

YABU. £20 is not a lot of money in the context of your little one’s health.

I can't get her there tonight..I can get her there in the morning. I know how selfish this sounds but I've literally got 68 pence in my bank till Thursday. I can get the bus/train tomorrow. Not tonight

@Rubyrubyrubyruby123 No its not a lot of money but right now its not a lot of money I don't have

Take her she has a crackle on the lungs that isn’t going with antibiotics

If the GP has recommended follow up in the hospital, of course you take her.

she didn't want to give her any more antibiotics as she's had a couple already

So the GP can't do anything further, and needs to refer on.

Although this doesn't sound great from the GP?
she was really condescending. Told me I've been to the doctor 4 times this month and that maybe she's okay and I'm not.

Did she really say that? That's not helpful and not fair - of course you'll bring your DD back if she continues to be unwell.

I would say tomorrow would be fine.

Sorry things are tough - I know that feeling.

Tomorrow is fine - this is something that if public transport is fine tomorrow I would take then

did you get a letter from the doctors

How patronising. Especially when OP has said it is money she doesn't have.

There is nobody who would lend you £20 or give you a lift?

Let it go, eh?

@Rubyrubyrubyruby123 no my husband left me and my parents are both dead. So no I don't have anyone. Sorry do you have any other unhelpful suggestions?

I think you should go, but tomorrow will be absolutely fine - assuming no deterioration in her health before then.

Of course If she deteriorates I will call 999 if needs be.

I'd be annoyed if in the same appointment time the doctor had insinuated my child was fine and it was me who was making a fuss about nothing
And also said my child needs to see a paediatrician....
Two contradicting points there...

Please contact Anxiety UK, they are an amazing charity with a wealth of different therapists. There is a cost, but it is minimal and based on a percentage of income. I know you should be able to access free NHS therapy, but the waits are horrific at the moment.

Have they sent a letter to the paediatric team so they are expecting you? If so, you need to go. None attendance will be reported to social services. You can try calling the unit and explaining your situation though.

Yes she needs to go to hospital but I agree that waiting until tomorrow will be fine. Hopefully she gets the all clear.

Do you have a local Facebook group? You could always ask if anyone is travelling towards the hospital and could provide a lift to try to keep costs down.

youve been worried enough over past weeks to take her to the GP 4 times, and now the GP is taking your concerns seriously and has referred you on to the hospital and now you have issues with this... you took her to the GP today because you were worried about her health, but now she's at home running about like a lunatic you dont want to get her checked out?

you dont fancy sitting in hospital for 10 hours... on the grand scheme of things, if that what a parent has to do, its what a parent has to do.

i understand you have no family to help, but what about friends? neighbours? someone, anyone who can give you that lift?

Would there be Any funding you might be entitled to. Ring the doctor back and explain your financial situation. Ours have a welfare worker. They may fund a taxi.

If you will have the money tomorrow, wait until tomorrow. Sleep in with her tonight for extra reassurance.

Why would OP need that? She was justifiably worried about her DD - the GP just decided to be a dick about it

Did the GP specifically say you needed to go today? Or that you were going to get a letter with an appointment slot?

Do you have any local friends who could give you a lift? Or Coworkers?

Just checking, who is the ‘they’ that wants her go to hospital? The nursery or the doctor?