Am I wrong for not taking 3 year old to hospital?

[sugaryouth1]

I know the title seems bad but here's the background

My daughter is 3. She's been ill non stop for about 6 weeks. Low fever, chesty cough, cold symptoms. She's just been diagnosed with slapped cheek as well. So she has a bright red face and a rash.
I took her back to the doctor today because nursery sent her home as she had a new rash. It is just the slapped cheek as the rash can come and go. But nursery have said she needs to see a doctor or she can't come back.

Anyway we went to the doctor and she was really condescending. Told me I've been to the doctor 4 times this month and that maybe she's okay and I'm not. It really upset me to be honest. Anyway she listened to her chest and said she could hear a crackle but she didn't want to give her any more antibiotics as she's had a couple already. Fine. I'm not the sort of parent that demands antibiotics. .they want her to go to the hospitals CAT unit to see a paediatrician.

I have some issues.

1. I can't get there without a taxi. I cannot afford a taxi. Its almost 20 quid and it's money I don't have. The public transport is few and fair between

1. I don't think she needs to. She's currently running around my house absolutely mental and destroying it and the idea of sitting there and waiting for 10 plus hours like last time fills me with dread

1. Again the last time she was there she caught covid and flu making her even more poorly and meaning she missed nursery and I missed work

Don't get me wrong, if she was sick I'd of course take her. Am I going to get into trouble for not taking her? Is there anything else I can be doing? I usually will always listen to the doctor and of course If she was sick I'd take her. I just don't know what to do

@sugaryouth1

I hope tonight is ok for you & DD. The very best of luck tomorrow.

You're doing the very best you can 💐

Ambulances are not taxis to the hospitals they are for life threatening emergencies and the reason the ambulance service is on its knees is because people treat it like a taxi service.

Aye, but it is £20. I would happily send it. Even if it was a scam (which I do not think at all) I would rather be the person who was scammed out of £20 than a person who didn't want to help out a wee girl and her mum when they were having a shit time.

@UsUser8643733 as I explained my husband left. My income has halfed. He isn't contributing. Whole other thread. We don't live in the middle of nowhere. Just somewhere with absolutely rubbish public transport. I'm not being a martyr. My daughter has friends at nursery. We go to soft play. We go to the park. I'm not just sat in the house with her. I mean this honestly when I say I'm.not usually bothered about having a friend. I mean not in a woe is me way, just I like my own company.
I didn't expect to be doing this alone

I’m sure, like many other parents with no support network, or who can’t drive, or who have other children that they can’t just up and leave at 2am, the OP would ring 999 or 111 for advice. If they deemed it an emergency, they would ensure she got to hospital.

An unexpected necessary journey does not require a car seat. Can your parents lend you money?

@MMummame2222 both my parents have passed away. My ex husbands father has passed and his mum lives in Australia. I have no idea where my ex husband is tbh

Do you think that the OP would not have thought of that if it was an option?

Patient support is very different and arranged very differently to an ambulance as you suggested.

This is what I was thinking of OP:

https://www.home-start.org.uk/about-us

I know they normally do things like play with your child or help you out with cleaning but essentially they have volunteers they can match you with. Might be an idea to reach out to see if they have suggestions for someone who could support you if you find yourself in this spot in the future.

Then surely that's the obvious solution for tonight? OP didn't mention phoning 111. Why not do that and explain the "crackling" the doctor mentioned and having to be seen by the CAT unit and they can decide if it warrants going in asap.

Also, chase that CMS if you haven’t already!!! He doesn’t get out of being a father. If they can track him down and get him to pay then that’s more support for you.

who twisted your knickers?

what I’m talking about can be arranged via 111 🤦‍♀️

Nobody, it was such a daft question, that's all. The OP is in a tight situation, not hard of thinking.

They won’t have actually phoned but the referral will have been sent through. It’s how the system works. It’s a bit like your GP saying you need medicine and then sending the prescription electronically to the pharmacy to be collected. There are systems in place that are followed. You can’t just turn up at a hospital without a referral or appointment (A&E, maternity aside).

I'm so sorry your little girl is ill.
Hospitals sometimes have volunteer drivers to help with transport to and from hospital.
Ring the Voluntary Services Co ordinator tomorrow.
If you can't get through, try anyone in Administration who will answer the phone.
I do hope you get some support, and your child is better soon.
x

This is great advice if the bus isn’t audience OP

Well, aren’t you a treat.

we just had similar with my 3 year old. Horrible chesty Cough for more than 6 weeks, stuffy nose, slight fever in in off. Went ti the GP to be told that there is nothing they can do for me and I am overreacting. Nursery sending her home as they are concerned with cough. In the end it just cleared on its own 🤷‍♀️

What is it excactly that they are concerned with?do they want you to go to A&E?

Sorry I didn't understand...it sounded like the GP was saying you are bringing her in too much but then saying she needs to go to hospital....seemed a bit contradictory.

I also thought this, sounds very odd. If the doctor thinks a child needs to go to hospital, they why berate the parent for taking them to a GP too often?

Also not sure what OP meant by catching "covid and flu". Was it proven by tests that she caught influenza and covid at exactly the same time as a direct result of visiting A&E? Seems medically and statistically extremely unlikely, unless OP has a penchant for hyperbole(?)

@User8643733 she went to the CAT unit in January for a water infection which required iv antibiotics. The following week she had a chesty cough and a fever she couldn't shift. I took her back to the gp and as the fever wasn't shifting with calpol they sent her back.to the CAT unit. They covid swabbed her and I assume flu swabbed her which I didn't even know was a thing and it came back positive for both. The doctor we saw said it was highly likely to be from the hospital admission the prior week as they'd seen an increase in both illnesses in children since Christmas. No hyperbole. Just saying it as it is

Is it worth contacting your local church as sometimes they organise transport for the elderly and may lend a hand.

And she had tonsillitis and scarlet fever at the end of January as well. Its been never bloody ending

Sorry you're having a shit time of it OP, I hope you're little one perks up soon