Am I wrong for not taking 3 year old to hospital?

[sugaryouth1]

I know the title seems bad but here's the background

My daughter is 3. She's been ill non stop for about 6 weeks. Low fever, chesty cough, cold symptoms. She's just been diagnosed with slapped cheek as well. So she has a bright red face and a rash.
I took her back to the doctor today because nursery sent her home as she had a new rash. It is just the slapped cheek as the rash can come and go. But nursery have said she needs to see a doctor or she can't come back.

Anyway we went to the doctor and she was really condescending. Told me I've been to the doctor 4 times this month and that maybe she's okay and I'm not. It really upset me to be honest. Anyway she listened to her chest and said she could hear a crackle but she didn't want to give her any more antibiotics as she's had a couple already. Fine. I'm not the sort of parent that demands antibiotics. .they want her to go to the hospitals CAT unit to see a paediatrician.

I have some issues.

1. I can't get there without a taxi. I cannot afford a taxi. Its almost 20 quid and it's money I don't have. The public transport is few and fair between

1. I don't think she needs to. She's currently running around my house absolutely mental and destroying it and the idea of sitting there and waiting for 10 plus hours like last time fills me with dread

1. Again the last time she was there she caught covid and flu making her even more poorly and meaning she missed nursery and I missed work

Don't get me wrong, if she was sick I'd of course take her. Am I going to get into trouble for not taking her? Is there anything else I can be doing? I usually will always listen to the doctor and of course If she was sick I'd take her. I just don't know what to do

How can the doctor possibly say it’s a you problem, and also that DD needs to go to hospital to see a paediatrician? That makes no sense whatsoever. I think going tomorrow on public transport sounds like a good plan though. If anything just to get another opinion as your GP sounds awful.

Wrong thread??

@catmomma67 my husband left me. My parents are both dead. My neighbour is a 88 year old woman who doesn't drive. So no I have nobody. I've rung the hospital transport team who can't get to her till tomorrow night. My first bus to the hospital is at 7 am so she would be there by 7 45.

I appreciate its hard for people to get that someone doesn't have anyone or doesn't even have 20 quid but that's the position I'm in.

It's got nothing to do with her just running around. And everything to do with that I can't get there and yes she has been sick for 6 weeks but if the doctor told me I was being paranoid why all of a sudden do I have to go to the hospital ASAP. Not to sound flippant but if she was that sick they'd have done something about it 6 weeks ago. Surely she can wait another 12 hours. Yes I am justifying it. I am not ignoring medical advice. I am simple stating that I can't get there. And tomorrow I can.

So a health professional ie gp has told you you need to take your daughter to hospital and you think you know better. Be a responsible parent and take her, or you’re likely to end up on children’s social care radar, quite rightly. To ignore the medical advice you’ve been given would be neglectful.

Because the expectation is that the antibiotics would have resolved the issue. They haven’t so now there is a concern, due to the length of time, of irreversible damage and a more sinister underlying cause. That’s why it wasn’t raised six weeks ago because the reasons behind the symptoms are nearly always benign, but the length of time is a suggestion it may be something else which escalates it to a priority.

I'd go tomorrow. If she's clinically healthy (running about eating drinking etc ) then just go tomorrow.

Well I read @sugaryouth1 properly.

Go in the morning. If you think she's deteriorating overnight then call 111 for advice.

It's worrying when little ones are poorly.

The GP's passing the buck. Sleep with her tonight and go in the morning. Meanwhile dial 111 to explain. If they think she needs to be seen tonight, they'll call an ambulance.

I'm sorry you are in this place.

Just call an ambulance, tell them your circumstances. You should go.

Woah. Steady on. Social services aren’t going to be beating down the door because you don’t immediately head to the hospital. If it was an emergency then the GP would have called ambulance. I think under the circumstances that waiting would be reasonable if all the indications are that she’s feeling ok and running around. If she goes downhill then I’d be wracking my brains for a colleague or anyone else who could help out.

Don't be mad!

OP, you're fine to go tomorrow, unless you have any other concerns. She needs to be checked out but she is fine to do so tomorrow, based on what you've told us here.

I am sure the GP did not say you need to go today?

I'm sorry you have so little support. I can absolutely imagine not having £20 and have been in that situation more than I would wish.

Thank you for the kind comments. I am going to phone the gp and explain again.

I hope nobody has to be in the suggestion of not having anybody or no money because it completely sucks

I am not ignoring medical advice..not in the slightest. I'm going to sleep with her tonight and go from there. Of course if she deteriorates I will call an ambulance

Jesus christ.

Op tomorrow morning will be fine.

Tomorrow is totally fine, sleep well, maybe hide this thread!

I would definitely try and get a note from the doctor to hand over so you can head to the right place. I agree I think they are now looking to make sure whether there is an underlying cause and if she can get more targeted treatment (DH had steroids when he had fluid on his lungs it has now cleared up)

It sounds like a really rubbish time for you right now. I hope you are getting suitable support as you manage this transition to single parenthood.

If you have a number for paeds I would give them a call just to check with them that it's ok to wait till tomorrow and if they can offer any help with logistics. We have had paeds referrals a few times. Once it was go this evening, the rest of the time it was make contact and they will decide what you need. This ended up as a couple of phone calls with a nurse to check how a rash was developing and we didn't need the trip in the end.

I’ve been in this situation, it’s hard, my cars in the garage over night but I would have offered to take you, I would say if she zooming around she’ll be fine til tomorrow but like you said ring 999 if she deteriorates. X

Thanks for pointing this out and sorry to derail!

I would wait until the morning. But I would definitely go because the doctor will possibly chase it up. I have heard of situations when SS have been called when the advice to go to hospital was ignored.

OP get on your local Facebook group and ask if someone would be happy to give you a lift. Round my way, loads would offer and you’d get there safely and you’d likely get a lift back too. I’d do it for you happily as I have little ones and you don’t mess with their health. she’s had a cough for 6 weeks that antibiotics isn’t touching, she needs to be properly checked out. I have a lung condition that I ignored for ages. It isn’t fun and games, go and get her checked.

With an on off fever for that amount of time that antibiotics isn’t shifting, I’d want to rule out childhood leukaemia. It’s probably a stubborn chest infection but if not, you want a diagnosis as fast as possible. Tomorrow is fine but she needs to be seen. Good luck op.

What has the doctor actually said and arranged? Was it a case of "if you're worried you can choose to go up to hospital and be seen" or was it "I think you need to go up and I'll tell the relevant department to expect you"?

If it's the latter, then that indicates that, in their opinion, your child needs to be seen acutely (ie today/tonight). It also means the hospital will likely be expecting you and if you don't go they may understandably have questions about why.

Did you explain to the GP that you have no money to get your daughter or yourself to the hospital? Most health boards/trusts have some mechanism in place so that people who need to attend hospital can do so even if they can't afford to or have no transport themselves (eg subsided taxis, reimbursement of travel expenses).

I'd suggest phoning the GP back or 111 given the time now, and asking what they suggest, given you have a child who may need to or be expected to attend hospital and no funds for transport to get them there.

Then why are you asking. Yes you're wrong but you don't care

@vanvanillawaffle yeah that's exactly it. I don't care.

What changes between tonight and tomorrow morning if you only have 68p?

Find a way to get her to the hospital. She's unwell.