Am I wrong for not taking 3 year old to hospital?

[sugaryouth1]

I know the title seems bad but here's the background

My daughter is 3. She's been ill non stop for about 6 weeks. Low fever, chesty cough, cold symptoms. She's just been diagnosed with slapped cheek as well. So she has a bright red face and a rash.
I took her back to the doctor today because nursery sent her home as she had a new rash. It is just the slapped cheek as the rash can come and go. But nursery have said she needs to see a doctor or she can't come back.

Anyway we went to the doctor and she was really condescending. Told me I've been to the doctor 4 times this month and that maybe she's okay and I'm not. It really upset me to be honest. Anyway she listened to her chest and said she could hear a crackle but she didn't want to give her any more antibiotics as she's had a couple already. Fine. I'm not the sort of parent that demands antibiotics. .they want her to go to the hospitals CAT unit to see a paediatrician.

I have some issues.

1. I can't get there without a taxi. I cannot afford a taxi. Its almost 20 quid and it's money I don't have. The public transport is few and fair between

1. I don't think she needs to. She's currently running around my house absolutely mental and destroying it and the idea of sitting there and waiting for 10 plus hours like last time fills me with dread

1. Again the last time she was there she caught covid and flu making her even more poorly and meaning she missed nursery and I missed work

Don't get me wrong, if she was sick I'd of course take her. Am I going to get into trouble for not taking her? Is there anything else I can be doing? I usually will always listen to the doctor and of course If she was sick I'd take her. I just don't know what to do

@Carenz

Do try to read PPs before continuing to dig a hole for yourself.

I have read your posts, the last one I cross posted with. But my point still stands - if you’ve never HAD to ask strangers for help then you’re lucky. Some people do whatever they can to get through including asking their community.

Jusg because you wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean those of us who’ve had no choice or who would support a stranger are any less than you. Needs must. Get off your high horse.

We cross posted as I have explained. Do try being less arrogant.

I know this isn't the point of your thread but you must find at least one friend or local connection. It's a big safety issue otherwise. I know it's not nice to think about but what would happen if you slipped and fell at home or choked on your food? If that happened to me someone would notice and do something and my children would be saved . You really need someone to notice if things like this happen, I know it's unlikely but better safe than sorry. Good luck with your child, please get her to hospital soon.

I have read your posts

Clearly not.

My much earlier posts said at least twice I understood having no money & no support. It was pretty clear 😐

And you haven’t read mine as I have said, twice, we have cross posted.

I am not here to play your games, you’re well known for being deliberately goady, stop trying to derail the OPs thread. You don’t want to ask your community, that’s fine, but stop trying to shame those of us who have done.

Yes, people really do this. I’m quite amazed that you’re so shocked by the idea of people in communities helping others out in a time of need. If you were desperate enough and had no other option then a lift or favour from a kind hearted stranger is not some sort of bizarre prospect unless you live in a really unfriendly part of the UK, which I won’t name for fear of a pile on.

Can I send you £20? Even if you don't go tonight, just to have in case.

Absolutely someone here would take me if I was op, despite me not knowing that many people because we recently moved. I would also help if I saw a fb post. I couldn't take op as I have my own small children, but I would happily pay for the taxi. I am sure lots of people would help.

- if you’ve never HAD to ask strangers for help then you’re lucky.

Don't be so utterly ridiculous. I'm not going to derail OP's thread giving you examples of how not-lucky I am.
I would not ask strangers for help in this way, nor have I ever seen it done where I am, but I accept it's different where you are.

It doesn't make me lucky.

If I had an emergency situation (touch wood), I'd use the emergency services. If, like OP, it was a non-emergency situation, I'd make my own arrangements, as she is.

Get off your high horse.

Is that directed to yourself? If not, it should be - it's you casting bizarre judgment on me, without bothering to even read my (or indeed OP's) posts

🙄

We cross posted as I have explained. Do try being less arrogant.

Oh dear. Reading comprehension is truly not your strong point is it?

I specifically said my much earlier posts. Not the cross points.

Do try being less ... um ... dim?

@sugaryouth1 have you had a look to see if there is home help where you are? I’ve entirely forgotten what their official name is but they can support struggling parents, they may be able to offer advice on how to build your support network. As others have said it’s definitely worth doing as if you did have an emergency in future and no money it would be good to have people to call upon. I know it can seem scary, I don’t talk to others at the nursery gate either as I am also shy, but having some emergency contacts would be helpful to you should this situation arise again and it’s more pressing.

I also wouldn’t worry about socials, if you go tomorrow and they did contact (unlikely) then you’d simply have to explain to them as you have done here, they’d understand. Help is out there though.

you’re well known for being deliberately goady

You are very funny. Especially given your appallingly arrogant, and ill-informed posts!

Not wise. I'm sure you're trying to be kind but remember you are talking to strangers on the Internet.

You don't need to worry about a car seat if it's a one off emergency like this or a taxi.

@EarringsandLipstick When you’re busy giving snarky replies to several posters it’s not an unreasonable thought to think that you may begin to realise who the problem is here. Hint: you

Can I send you £20? Even if you don't go tonight, just to have in case.

I know you mean well, but don't offer money on MN.
OP has said she is fine to get there tomorrow.

I’m sure she’ll be fine for tonight (obviously 999 if any deterioration) but I just wanted to hop on and say the symptoms sound similar to my (then) 18 month old who had been ill for weeks with various cold/flu symptoms. GP checked him over three times until eventually we went to a&e as he went downhill rapidly one night. Ended up being pneumonia and he was very poorly in HDU for a week or so. I say this because even the staff in a&e didn’t suspect pneumonia straight away and thought it was a bad case of tonsillitis. Fortunately, they decided to X-ray him to rule anything else out and saw the state of his lungs.

Hopefully it’s nothing serious for your DD but worth bearing in mind if the hospital can’t find what’s making her feel so poorly.

Don’t engage, she is known to love to fight with other posters but this isn’t the thread for it. Just ignore her, she’ll give up eventually.

🤣

My replies to OP have been utterly supportive (in contrast to the batshit suggestions from some, not to mind judgy)

If someone decides to completely misrepresent me, I'll certainly address it.

HTH

Why do you choose to live in the middle of nowhere with a 3 year old with no means to get to hospital in an emergency? The current illness you just described doesn't sound super urgent so she'll almost certainly be fine by tomorrow. However everyone knows that young children are prone to all kinds of disasters. If she had a bad accident, put something up her nose, woke up with croup or something similar in the night, how do you intend to get to hospital? It seems negligent to put your child in a situation like this without even an emergency fund for a taxi or anybody you can call.

You seem to be a martyr to the fact that you are alone and have nobody to help. It sounds really tough but you also owe it to your daughter to make some sort of effort to at least befriend other mums with cars or someone you can call on in an absolute emergency. Young children get sick and get injured unexpectedly. It's not a question of if but when you have to make a mad dash to hospital at an ungodly hour. Literally every single parent had done it. You cannot bring a child up to adulthood without ending up at A&E at 2am at some point. In most cases, it won't be severe enough for an ambulance but still something that needs to be seen. What will happen then?

Don’t engage, she is known to love to fight with other posters but this isn’t the thread for it. Just ignore her, she’ll give up eventually.

Not in the least. Aren't you silly & petty now really?

Full of daft suggestions to OP who is struggling & has a sensible plan in place, that you & others struggle to accept.

Do behave!

Not fair. Loads of people live in the middle of nowhere and have kids

with no means to get to hospital in an emergency?

In an emergency she'll call an ambulance.

And precisely what is the point of questioning OP about where she lives at this point in time? 🙄