Husbands ex wife is a control freak

[HHN]

So my husband has a daughter from a previous relationship when he split with his ex wife she stopped him from seeing his daughter. He took her to court and set up a contact agreement she broke this after about 6 weeks. This was 5 year ago absolutely cut all contact with my husband and he’s never seen his daughter since. Two weeks ago he received a text from her asking if they could meet up and have a chat! He’s reluctant as she’s a liar she tried to make out he was on drugs and abusive at court. He done everything to prove her wrong including drug tests. She just done and said all this to purely hurt him. She doesn’t stick to agreements and just loves to cause trouble. Despite this I’ve tried to persuade him to reply to the text but he’s just out right refusing he thinks she’s just trying to cause trouble as she used to. But I can’t help but think maybe his daughter has asked about him and wants to get to know him even though I’ve told him this is still doesn’t want to reply to the text. Should I just leave it now or try again to persuade him? I don’t want to get too involved but also don’t want him to regret not replying.

Another one who hasn’t answered the original question just spouted your opinion 🙄🙄🙄

Fine. In which case, yes of course you should try to persuade him to regain contact with his daughter. And if he refuses then you will know what kind of a man and father he is. Or at least you ought.

Best of luck, OP. I fear you will need it.

I suspect this is why the OP is so defensive and has started to resort to personal insults.

She know what her husband is like because of her personal experience of how he behaves towards his children with her.

She knows that he’s in the wrong for not contacting his ex and exploring the possibility of contact with his dd. She’s said as much in her opening post when she says she thinks he shouldn’t ignore her.

And because of that she knows that if they split, there is a very real possibility he will dump her children in the same way he has ditched his daughter.

It’s a case of the lady doth protest too much, and it’s all about self preservation.

This is close to home for OP, and she knows she is vulnerable.

Can I just say £350 a month will not go far! This woman has to put a roof over his daughter's head, feed clothe etc. I would not be happy if this was my husband, I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't fight tooth and nail for their child.

That was hard work but we got there in the end eh

Or maybe because there’s a handful of bully’s on here who seem to think they no everything about our lives instead of just answering the original question posted.

Maybe not he did pay a lot more until she thought she was entitled to more than what they had agreed between them and contacted the cms who then actually told her she wasn’t entitled to as much as she was getting and the payment went down by a few hundred pound. I guess that was her choice to contact them my dh was happy to pay the original amount they’d agreed on until she got greedy

I would crawl over hot coals to see my children. If she is such an awful person surely there is even more reason for him to maintain contact with him child and ensure she is OK.

@HHN I would also stick to the amount CMS say he should pay. I'm guessing the ex went to CMS thinking she could get more?

Yes exactly this

Yeah same

So he responded to that by punishing his own kid and reducing the payment that he had previously been willing and able to pay ?

nice.

I posted for advice on whether people would carry on trying to encourage him or just mind my own business. Not advice on any other previous threads

You've had loads of advice. He doesn't want to continue contact or even bother with it. A prince indeed. Nothing you say will make this shit parent suddenly turn into a good one. He's not a good parent. I appreciate that hundreds of people rubbing your face in that fact is hurtful. However one day you will be that "psycho ex".

Or maybe because there’s a handful of bully’s on here who seem to think they no everything about our lives instead of just answering the original question posted

Are you for real? Nobody has bullied you. It just didn't go how you thought it would.

Your a bit late love 👍🏻

Re read your comments back I think you’ll find your the rude one

He didn’t respond he just went along with what ever his ex wanted. She wanted to go through cms so that’s what they do. She then kicked off that her payment went down 🤷🏼‍♀️ just can’t win sometimes can you.

@Asifiwouldnt Why should he pay more than he is required to though?

I don’t know one good parent whose parenting mantra is to provide the bare minimum

Everyone knows cms estimates nowhere near actually cover the cost of raising a child.
let alone the fact the mum has no support day to day, no time off etc

he was paying more so can clearly afford to but then decided she was being greedy so punished her by reducing the amount as per cms. Who suffers? The kid he doesn’t even see or give the gift of love and time to. I could not respect a man like this at all.

And I’m not saying the mum is without any blame or fault. Who knows. But a good father would keep the best interests of his child central to all his decisions

If my ex husband paid me £700 every month without fail and I went to the cms to see if I could get more..... he would very much have followed what they directed if it was lower.

Because he would not have been happy I went to cms and see if as unnecessary.

I don't understand the complete inability to see that ex wife might be in the wrong?

I don’t understand the lack of ability for parents to make the interests of their child more important than scoring points or having a dig at the other adult

Do you no his ex wife well? Or have you just jumped to conclusions that she has no support?

He paid what they agreed she changed her mind he just went along with what ever she wanted. She wanted it through the cms so that’s what he does.