Summer born deferred. Now refusing to stay at school.

[Aspiringhermit]

I am posting on behalf of a friend. Her son was born in August so she and her husband decided to defer him starting school. They were able to do this because his due date had been in September and their LEA was understanding. The son attends a private school who were willing to take him out of normal school cohort. All going pretty well until now. The son is now 17,in Year 12 doing first year of A levels and absolutely hates it. He's determined to leave school as soon as possible. He's accepted that his parents have paid fees for the coming term so has very reluctantly agreed to go back next week, but want them to write to school to say he is definitely leaving at the end of this academic year. He says that as he will be 18 before the start of the next academic year, the school and his parents can't force him to go back. Unofficial discussion with his form tutor has revealed that the school would not legally be able to consider his parents wishes. He will be an adult and cannot be forced to continue to year 13. Can anyone advise what they can do to win the son round. One reads so many threads of parents deferring summer borns, but not sure how many have had to deal with this end of the school experience.

I'm late 30s and started school in April. But within a few years of me starting it was just September. Its now considered non ideal as they miss out on phonics etc. Plus most kids are in preschool before then.

I have children in primary school.

@Lovelylovelyyy the literature re: summer born children is quite clear; there’s an over representation of older for year children on sports teams and achieving highly in education. Of course there will be exceptions and some kids who would have achieved the same no matter what, but at the population level, summer born have worse outcomes in terms of academic and sporting achievements. In my DS’s case he is small. Were we a tall family, being youngest in his year may not have been such a disadvantage - hence you get kids who do well despite the disadvantage of birth month. D has some special, though limited, needs which would have benefited from being spotted earlier in his academic life - as it is they were misattributed to him being youngest in year. Being ‘best’ is also a virtuous cycle - kids who are clever, calmer, more physically able, grow in confidence and get more opportunities as they are, at any one time point, more able. To ignore all this is naive - it’s why even at 11+ there are age norms applied.

… by 11+ I mean as in the exam for grammar school.

Emotional maturity and being tired more is a thing for summer born children in the early years and KS1 but then they catch up. Children learn phonics at the same time unless they take an interest in reading before they start school so they won't be at a disadvantage with reading. My brother and I are summer born babies and we have always been high achievers. There were autumn and winter born children in my class that weren't very sporty or academic. Some people are sporty and/or academic but some people aren't. It's an individual thing.

@Lovelylovelyyy It's an individual thing.

Well yes, it’s an individual thing at an individual level. At the population level, there are differences. Surely you don’t think it is mere coincidence that in a population or looking at averages, summer born children have worse outcomes? The grammar school admission system begs to differ.