Xl bully- advice am I being unreasonable?!

[Jade1989x]

My daughters dad has just gone and got an xl bully puppy on 31st dec, we are split so my daughter goes to her dads every other weekend. I need peoples advice, in my opinion it is really irresponsible and stupid that he’s gone and got this dog with it now being classed as a dangerous dog and banned breed. I’m now put in a situation where I’m not happy for my daughter to be around this dog yet obviously I still want her to have contact with her dad. I’ve shared my concerns with her dad but don’t really feel like I’ve got anywhere with him just gives me shitty answers back.
As her mother I’m well within my rights to raise any concerns with him about the safety of my child.
if you was in my situation what would you do? This is so stressful and causing me anxiety, my daughter is 11 but she is an anxious girl and not very confident around animals. She understands my concerns but I feel like as her mom I need to stand by my concerns. I just don’t know where I stand with this or what direction to go in.
please be kind, as I know this is a sensitive subject but I need advice.

I would not be happy about this AT ALL. At 11 I think she is old enough for her opinion to count - does she want to go to her dads while the dog is there? If not he needs to know that. He needs to decide which is more important- the dog he got yesterday or his child.

(I’m really not a dog person, this may be influencing my view!)!

So tricky for you. What’s his set up like, and his experience with large breed dogs?

She loves the fact it’s a puppy right now but having a talk with her she completely understands my concerns and she does worry as it gets bigger etc that she is scared, I just don’t know where I stand with it legally as he has PR he has contact and I’d never want to stop that but I’m am terrified to think what could happen and how irresponsible he has been to even go and get one afew days ago, makes no sense to me. Do I trust that he will keep the dog away from her when she’s in his care? Absolutely not.

My daughter wouldn't be going and he could take me to Court and he could explain to them why he thought it was a good idea to get a banned breed on the eve of the ban! Banned for a bloody good reason. No way would I put my child in harms way like that.

Imo it would depend on the owner. Is he responsible, will he register for the exemption, keep it on a lead and muzzled in public? Will it be properly insured? Registered with a vet?

Will he spend time training the puppy and engaging with it, will he socialise it, will he seek professional training?

Most problems arise from the end of the lead not attached to the dog.

He has had other dogs and is a doggy person but he doesn’t seem to get my concerns and just gets nasty. And other dog no problem but why on the last day (31st) you could get one, go and get one. It’s beyond stupid. I just don’t know what to think or where I would stand stopping her going to that house because of a dog.

Exactly how I feel right now, I’m angry, frustrated, stressed and anxious yet I hate that my daughter is going to think I’m awful for stopping her going there as it’s only a puppy. But it will soon grow! It’s a shit situation to be in 😔

So does he currently have a dog? Does he work, are they left on their own all day? What training has he done? Is he taking it to dog training/ paying for spaying etc?

I would be issuing a list of rules for my daughter to stay there regarding the dog (any dog). Which would include:

• he complies with the ban and takes necessary action to ensure it’s registered, wears a muzzle trained, never off the lead etc
• will be castrated
• he will have insurance for any third party damage
• he will be going to regular dog training classes
• Will keep the dog in a separate room while your daughter is there when she needs space
• that the dog is put in a separate room at any point he is not in the room with your daughter.

Most problems arise from the end of the lead not attached to the dog

Usually but not with this breed. The bloodline needs to end. The UKs breeding pool is too small and the inbreeding in a far too big percentage of these dogs is horrific. They can't stay sane no matter how well they're raised.

There's no way I'd let my kid anywhere near an adult XL.

and id want to see proof of everything above before he has her at his house again. For the meantime, no over night stays and not going to his house.

There really is hysteria about this breed now , whipped up by the press .
.
It's a puppy . As long as your OH is a responsible owner who understands the need for training and socialising of said puppy and keeps it in an appropriate home with good levels of stimulation and exercise there should be no problems .

Mn is not the place to be having sensible discussions about these dogs anymore. There’s tens of thousands of these animals that have caused no issue at all. And now thanks to the stupid actions of a select few they are now banned. Mn have become so hyperbolic about them it’s ridiculous. Like the pp above who have stated that they’d ban their child from seeing their father again ffs

Oh god. This has just happened with a distant family member of mine, he's not really responsible either and a high chance the dog will grow up aggressive. He lives next door to my step children and we are livid that it's been allowed. Luckily they are older and sensible but there are younger children in the house too and I feel pretty sick thinking about it.

I think you have to explain that your daughter is not comfortable and if your ex ignores this then unfortunately he can't see her until he makes other arrangements. The law would be on your side. The thing is you won't get a second chance if something goes wrong.

Not it’s not at all. Dogs can be dangerous, one this size is lethal. It doesn’t sound as though he’s a responsible owner to start with so not a brilliant start.

This isn’t about you, this is about OP doing the right thing for her daughter. Stop worrying about the dog

The issue is, if this dog shows the tiniest hint of aggression, will he get rid of it or will he make excuses (as too many owners seem to do).

And to say there "should" be no problems. "Should" would not be enough where my child's life is concerned.

That woman who was killed by her xl knew he had issues but she kept him. Made excuses etc. Ended up dead. So if you want to argue there are always warning signs, maybe there are. But will OP's ex act on them if there are?

@Jade1989x Most XL Bullies in U.K. are horrifically inbred and most are related to Killer Kimbo who is k own to pass on human killing genes.
Just look at Dogsbite . Org to see the shocking mutilations and deaths to children and adults from these XL Bully types.

They have a very short fuse and even raised from puppyhood have killed the family children -

He’s an idiot who clearly doesn’t care for his daughter.

Absolutely no chance would I allow my DC anywhere near a dog like that under any circumstances.

Thank you very helpful info I’m writing all this down.

No bloody way would my child be going anywhere near this dog. I'd be stipulating it stays elsewhere whilst she visits.

The posters on this thread saying that the media have whipped up a frenzy and these dogs are fine seem to forget there's no smoke without fire?

Totally agree

My friends son got his face ripped off by the xl bully who had never shown signs of aggression before, he just turned and her son nearly died. This is why I’m overly concerned 🙁

Was there family dog for 6 years

Oh for goodness sake. Clearly he's NOT a responsible dog owner or father.

My daughter would not be allowed go into any house where this kind of lethal dog is living, let alone stay over.

Google Mia Delorean
She was bought up with an Xl Bully that was “ Really sweet “ with her before it turned and slaughtered her in front of her mum

Mum dragged little girl into bedroom but Nico the Dog broke the door down to get to Mia.