Xl bully- advice am I being unreasonable?!

[Jade1989x]

My daughters dad has just gone and got an xl bully puppy on 31st dec, we are split so my daughter goes to her dads every other weekend. I need peoples advice, in my opinion it is really irresponsible and stupid that he’s gone and got this dog with it now being classed as a dangerous dog and banned breed. I’m now put in a situation where I’m not happy for my daughter to be around this dog yet obviously I still want her to have contact with her dad. I’ve shared my concerns with her dad but don’t really feel like I’ve got anywhere with him just gives me shitty answers back.
As her mother I’m well within my rights to raise any concerns with him about the safety of my child.
if you was in my situation what would you do? This is so stressful and causing me anxiety, my daughter is 11 but she is an anxious girl and not very confident around animals. She understands my concerns but I feel like as her mom I need to stand by my concerns. I just don’t know where I stand with this or what direction to go in.
please be kind, as I know this is a sensitive subject but I need advice.

She really wouldn't

Again I’m not refusing access. I’m just not happy with my child being around that dog. Simple.

Only she would. If he is complying with the law there is no reason to prevent access. Families with these dogs are legally keeping them. The court isn’t going to set precedent that children cannot spend time with their parents if they own these dogs. If they were it would have been included within the licensing requirements.

She cares for her child. The feckless dad clearly does not.

I really feel for you on this. I wouldn’t want my child anywhere near the dog but beyond an open conversation with your ex there’s not much you can do.

I totally agree with that, but that doesn’t alter the legal reality.

@Jade1989x Contact centre? If he really loves his daughter {and the little dog} he'd never have bought it.

The man sounds like a total prick. I wouldn't let my kid a anywhere near the fucking dog, Has he done it on purpose to piss you off?

You sound as though you're being perfectly reasonable op. There's lots of conflicting advice given on here and you need clarification. I would ring social services for advice, or speak to a family law solicitor. You wouldn't have to go down the family court route, perhaps some mediation or legal ground rules could be drawn up to safeguard your child. You are not wrong in having concerns, a lot of parents would in your position.

Spit on. I think any court would say he put the needs of his child a very poor second here.

Are you a family court lawyer? Do you have experience of this sort of situation? If you do then maybe you could tell us why it’s such a bad thing to be worried about a child being around a huge banned dog. Also would the court not involve child social workers to assess the situation first?

Mediation is a great idea, as dog aside he sounds pretty awful.

OP what a ridiculously stupid move from your ex! I suspect he knows your likely reaction and has done this to make things easier of himself possibly?

Hell no would my child be going to his home.
However, I would not decline contact, rather just amend the terms for now. I would tell him instead he was welcome to visit your daughter at your home or in a neutral place such as a park/cinema/bowling type of activity place with yourself present at a frequency of maybe two or three times a week. Absolutely no overnight in a house with this type of dangerous dog, just not worth the risk.

If he wants or decides to go to court beyond this, then are some decent legal advice and battle accordingly. But it takes seconds for these dogs to kill a child, over my dead body would she be anywhere near his home until I had official proof he dog had been permanently removed.

The last minute rehoming of these dogs to entirely unsuitable homes is going to trigger a wave of fresh attacks. Any responsible rescue would not let an XL bully go to a home with a small dog and a child. I would find any excuse to keep her away until you can establish more about the dog and whether he’s going to comply with exemption rules - would the costs put him off? (£90+ to exempt, £25 third party insurance £400 neutering) Unfortunately the muzzling rules will not protect children within the home and a lot of attacks have been on resident or visiting children. Do you have anyone you can discuss it with as a safeguarding concern? Social worker?

I think it was whipped up by them killing lots of people, or have I misunderstood?

I thought the ban came into place on the 31st ? If so and he got a dog illegally on the 31st I’d report him to the police. This says it was illegal on the 31st. https://www.gov.uk/government/news/new-legal-restrictions-on-xl-bully-dog-now-in-force

Not now no. And yes I do.

I have not said anywhere that worrying is a bad thing. I would be furious.

But courts base decision on law. And the law is that he can own the dog if licensed and those who own the dogs can also have children. There is no restriction re being around children. The courts look to the law first.

And no social services wouldn’t assess when nothing has actually happened and the majority of these dogs do actually live as happy well adjusted family dogs.

Collecting the dog on 31 December wasn’t illegal.

I’d as soon send my child into the lion enclosure at the zoo as I’d let them be alone with one of these dogs.

Could you speak to a solicitor to see what your options are because if he normally has her at his home overnight then I don’t see what else you can do other than stop the contact? You could never trust him not to leave her with the dog.

Ah so technically he bought it before the 31st and only picked it up on the 31st and that would be ok.

Shame the OP can’t prove when money was exchanged….because I’d bet he didn’t pay for it till the 31st. I’d still report to the police, they can investigate and see when money left his bank account.

It’s also only selling that’s illegal. I presume because there are going to be people rescuing these dogs even if only to put down humanely and they need to be free from prosecution.

Thank you so much for this. It’s honestly stressing me out so much and I feel so anxious obviously I want my daughter to see her dad, people are twisting what I’m saying. My daughter is very anxious and not confident with big dogs, and as she only goes two weekends a month worries me that the dog could be territorial if that makes sense and pick up on her anxiety, as once it’s an adult I know she won’t find it cute anymore.

It’s not just selling

It is now illegal to breed, sell, advertise, gift, exchange, and abandon these dogs or let them stray.