Xl bully- advice am I being unreasonable?!

[Jade1989x]

My daughters dad has just gone and got an xl bully puppy on 31st dec, we are split so my daughter goes to her dads every other weekend. I need peoples advice, in my opinion it is really irresponsible and stupid that he’s gone and got this dog with it now being classed as a dangerous dog and banned breed. I’m now put in a situation where I’m not happy for my daughter to be around this dog yet obviously I still want her to have contact with her dad. I’ve shared my concerns with her dad but don’t really feel like I’ve got anywhere with him just gives me shitty answers back.
As her mother I’m well within my rights to raise any concerns with him about the safety of my child.
if you was in my situation what would you do? This is so stressful and causing me anxiety, my daughter is 11 but she is an anxious girl and not very confident around animals. She understands my concerns but I feel like as her mom I need to stand by my concerns. I just don’t know where I stand with this or what direction to go in.
please be kind, as I know this is a sensitive subject but I need advice.

I honestly don't know where you'd stand legally with it. They are a banned breed and known to be dangerous. But they are still around. Thousands of them. Many of which I suspect live in homes with children. Could you feasibly stop all kids seeing parents who own these dogs?

I suppose the sensible answer would be don't fucking own one. But I'm not sure where you stand from a legal or safeguarding point of view.

There is 'having other dogs' and 'having other dogs that can/do turn aggressive.'

When you say he's had other dogs, do you mean a cavapoo? Or has he had routine experience of being the sole owner of a highly trained/working breed type like a GSD/Cane Corso type dog?

If it's the former. He's a twat.

If it's the latter, he's still a twat but I would be less worried.

Edit: To clarify the above. Someone with experience in breeds that can go horribly wrong (and often do in the wrong hands) like a highly trained working like GSD or Cane Corso is far more likely to know how to ensure an XL bully puppy grows up to have the best possible chance not becoming aggressive. Someone who has only ever had a cocker spaniel or a Bichon frise? Less so. But, I'd still probably argue that only someone who think they're hard (and therefore likely knows nothing about dogs) would get one of these monsters.

But the fact is, it's a banned breed for a reason. YANBU and I wouldn't be happy. And my daughter wouldn't be going over there at all and he could take me to court if he wanted to.

That is not correct. She cannot just decide to take temporary custody. Only a court can make that judgement.

He’s definitely never had this type of dog before and when I’ve asked these questions all I get is shitty answers or name calling so I don’t ever get very far with trying to have an adult conversation 😫

That's your answer then.

He's trying to be 'hard' and get a willy extension because he's weak (as these men so often are). The dog is in the wrong hands and is going to grow up to be a problem. A man who resorts to name calling is hardly the right person to own any sort of dog that can (and often does) go wrong. Probably not even the right sort of man to own a mouse tbh.

You should definitely refuse to let him see your daughter if the dog is there. Legally you might not have a leg to stand on. But I'd still do it.

To be fair I would have concerns about any dog being around my child to some extent, we have a Labrador and I love and trust him completely but even then I would never dream of leaving him unattended with my baby for even a second, most of my family also have dogs- a Staffy, a Rottweiler and a Cockapoo. They are all lovely dogs and have been raised well, but again, I wouldn’t be happy with my baby being in their company without an adult to supervise. So I suppose it’s less about the dog and more about the adult who will be supervising and trusting THEM to look after both the dog and my child.

But ultimately, yes you’d be unreasonable to say she cannot go due to this dog. He’s her dad, he has PR, as long as he is compliant with the different exemption rules etc then it is what it is.

Absolutely no way and under no circumstances whatsoever would I allow a child into this environment. Anyone defending this is utterly delusional.

Stick to your guns OP. They've been added to the banned list for very good reason.

My friend in has a rescued Staffy ( From a heroin dealer who kept him locked in a tiny bed sit)

He’s a blocky headed boy but I feel safe staying there and he is kind to my Whippet.
Staffies are very different to XL’s

He’s currently got a sausage dog lol so a very different type of dog breed. To me for him to even get one especially at this point is irresponsible and I wouldn’t trust at all that he would keep the dog away from her especially for a long period of time over a weekend. I hate that I’m now put in a situation where I’m having to make a decision it’s stressing me out so much but I would never forgive myself if he attacked my daughter. My head is gone I don’t know what to do 😔

Oh my god not this ‘end of the lead’ dross again

NO DOG CAN BE TRUSTED. NONE.

Dogs are their own entities.

My lovely toy poodle has been beautifully raised and exercised well like an XL bully might be with a good owner. But my dog still might lash out if she is in sick, in pain or someone has disturbed or scared her.

However- she does NOT have the potential to kill a child when she lashes out.

You might get a nasty nip, it she isn’t going to rip your throat out or need two grown men to pull her off the offending party. Not the case with XL bullies and similar types.

That’s all to do with the breed. Nothing to do with the owner.

Anyone who has such large powerful dogs with the potential for such devastation around their kids are thick as mince.

In fairness I think there was a lot of people getting them very last minute to save their lives almost. I know all of our local shelters were massively pushing to get the last few adopted before the deadline as otherwise it was a death sentence for the dogs.

It’s also not really your decision to make. He’s her dad and if you refuse he will only go legally to get the access anyway

oh bloody hell

Stick to your guns @Jade1989x
He’s an absolute idiot getting a fighting breed with a tiny Sausage dog-
It won’t be long before the little one is attacked.

If your daughter has her face ripped off what would you do?
Too late then for your ex to be sorry.

Most courts are on the side of the children and their welfare.

There are no legal grounds to prevent access and no requirements at this stage that those dogs cannot be around children. Courts don’t look favourably on mothers who refuse access.

When they're at risk. For a legally owned dog you’ve got no hope.

legally owned but so are pit bulls if you’re granted exemption

Your point being…?

If I was @Jade1989x I'd let the courts decide.

That a court wouldn’t grant a dad access if he had a pit bull in the house. And XLs seem to be more dangerous than them.

Could end very badly for her, plus the costs.

That’s incorrect.

I would not let her go, I'd tell him you can only take her for the day, somewhere to play and have food ect, but not at your house and not 100% percent not near the dog
If he didn't listen I'd stop visits all together and he'd have to take me to court.

I'm sure as a responsible loving parent it's a risk she will willingly take.
Plus she can crowdfund.
Plenty would support her.

And she would lose.