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Original poster

Child escaped car seat…referral to social services

305 replies

A2010 · 30/12/2023 16:48

My 2 year old daughter absolutely hates sitting in her car seat and escapes literally every 30 seconds.

My husband took her out today when she escaped her car seat and climbed in to the passenger seat. He should have stopped but he told me because he was nearly there he didn’t. Which has absolutely infuriated me😭

Anyway, someone has obviously reported all this and the police pulled him over. He’s not been fined or anything like that, they just gave him a lecture but also said it was being logged with social services??

Does anyone know what will happen next, I’m absolutely beside myself.

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GreatGateauxsby · 30/12/2023 16:52

I can’t imagine your child being removed from your care.

social services are swamped.

the definition of and threshold for “neglect” is way beyond what normal people consider neglectful.

children playing in human and adult faeces
babies being left alone for hours at a time.
toddlers eating non food stuffs from hunger.

that said your husband did a very stupid and very dangerous thing and whoever reported it has done you a favour if it changes his behaviour

Soontobe60 · 30/12/2023 16:53

Not much else. You may get a phone call from SS but that’s all.
What you DO need to do is get a seat that DD cannot escape from.

SquirrelBlue · 30/12/2023 16:54

They might give you a quick call to tell you it's dangerous and not to let it happen again. And then they'll close it. Then again they might do absolutely nothing. They have far worse situations to deal with.
I know being referred to social services sounds scary but the most you'll get is a quick phone call if that.

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2 year olds Families General parenting
Crooklodge · 30/12/2023 16:58

You need to get a harness for the car seat that she can't remove herself from. I think they're typically aimed for asd kids? I've seen them on here before.

I hope ss rip his arse.

Original poster
A2010 · 30/12/2023 17:00

Thanks for all your replies, I always stop straight away when she escapes when I’m driving and put her straight back and tell her no. So the social services referral has really upset me 😢

OP posts:
hometimesanta · 30/12/2023 17:05

Get something in place ASAP so you can demonstrate to SS there is no problem. Nothing will happen if you are taking her safety seriously. Unfortunate it's taken a stop by the police and call to SS to make it happen.

HollyFern1110 · 30/12/2023 17:05

A very similar thing happened to me around 20 years ago with DS2. I was invited to the SS offices (or was offered a home visit but declined) & they just had a chat before declaring DS2 to not be at risk.

These days you probably won't even get that.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 30/12/2023 17:08

It's being logged with SS. If they have bi other reasons to believe your child is a risk, I suspect the most you'll get is a letter or phone call .

I do sympathise though. DD was an escaper.One of these helped.

Original poster
A2010 · 30/12/2023 17:11

That’s so funny you tagged that item, because that’s what I’ve just ordered!

OP posts:
Balloonhearts · 30/12/2023 17:11

You will likely get a call or visit, told to sort it and case closed.

You really do need to sort it though. There are all sorts of products that prevent children opening their restraints. It's bloody dangerous, not just for her but for the distraction of the driver. Ypu can't possibly be concentrating on the road when she's climbing all over the car.

Mine undid her seatbelt a few times and she stayed put in her seat but it was still distracting. Eventually I had to pull over and really shout at her and she didn't do it again after that.

diddl · 30/12/2023 17:15

Well at least it has made you look in to ways of keeping her safe & in her car seat!

Camorra · 30/12/2023 17:16

I'm sorry OP, this must be stressful, especially at this time of year!

Good shout on ordering the extra restraint. If your DH was driving long enough with your child out of the carseat that someone witnessed it, called the police, the police then sent and pulled him over, it must have been a decent distance!

Super dangerous for both your DH and the 2 yo.

You'll probably get a call or letter from SS and be asked what you/DH have done to prevent it from happening again. Getting multiple reports to SS can trigger further intervention

coolkatt · 30/12/2023 17:17

your not fitting your child properly in her seat. you don't need a lecture on what could happen at any second.
you absolutely should be binning those car seats and getting a proper fitted one your child will not escape from. if she can open the latch get a padlock. if she can escape the harness it's not tight enough. coats should be off and all fitted snugly. go to a reputable seller, put her in every single seat possible. don't buy just for names or brands. get the one that does its job. good luck.

fourlambbhunas · 30/12/2023 17:23

Im sure it'll all be okay, but try ordering a chest buckle that clicks the two straps together on their upper chest. Worked wonders for my friend x

Therollinghills · 30/12/2023 17:25

I would make sure your husband speaks to SS when they call seeing as it's his not taking having a loose toddler in the car seriously that has triggered this.

hometimesanta · 30/12/2023 17:25

Therollinghills · 30/12/2023 17:25

I would make sure your husband speaks to SS when they call seeing as it's his not taking having a loose toddler in the car seriously that has triggered this.

It's unlikely to be optional since the child was in his care. He will need to talk to them. If he doesn't that will raise eyebrows

anothernamechangeagainsndagain · 30/12/2023 17:26

Also do make sure the child lock is on your back doors, just in case. I had a Houdini but found she couldn't escape the graco one we bought, think they are sold as jolie here

mfbx5sf3 · 30/12/2023 17:27

Which car seat are you using? I can’t understand how any 2 year old can get out of an appropriate harness.

endofthelinefinally · 30/12/2023 17:29

I am very glad your child is ok. Hopefully everyone reading this will realise there are several effective products that can be purchased immediately if a child can escape the car seat. A toddler fell out of a car into the road near my child's school some years ago and was badly injured. I really wonder whether the extra harness should be included as standard with all seats.

AreYouThereDog · 30/12/2023 17:30

Gently, OP, are you confident that your husband has given you the full story?

If he was so close to his destination that he decided to keep going, it seems unlikely that someone would have spotted him, called the police, and the police reached him in such a very short timeframe.

Any chance he could have been driving with her on the passenger seat for a more significant period of time and hasn’t told you?

BlueWhippets · 30/12/2023 17:30

What sort of car seat do you have? And are you sure she's fitted correctly? Could you try putting her in the passenger seat so you can see her/she can see you? (This is obviously assuming she's rear facing and the car allows for it)

theduchessofspork · 30/12/2023 17:32

No more than a phone call.

But - sorry to be harsh OP - why the fuck haven’t you and DH sorted out a harness she can’t escape from. This is serious stuff.

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 30/12/2023 17:33

As others have said, it's very likely there will just be a chat with your husband, and no further action taken, or no action at all this time. However, it's also likely a record will kept, so if it keeps happening, or other risky things happen to your child, then it could be seen as part of a pattern. I would try to make finding a way to stop her escaping altogether a priority!

You say you always stop instantly and put her back, but what if you're somewhere where it would be illegal/completely unsafe to stop?

SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 17:33

How did someone report him to the police, police dispatched, police find his car and pull him over so close to his destination?

Therainfallingdownonme · 30/12/2023 17:36

I have yet to find a harness my DS can’t escape from. He doesn’t generally but he does wriggle his arms out of the straps which renders the car seat pretty useless. It’s horrible and really stressful so I sympathise, @A2010