Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Child escaped car seat…referral to social services

305 replies

A2010 · 30/12/2023 16:48

My 2 year old daughter absolutely hates sitting in her car seat and escapes literally every 30 seconds.

My husband took her out today when she escaped her car seat and climbed in to the passenger seat. He should have stopped but he told me because he was nearly there he didn’t. Which has absolutely infuriated me😭

Anyway, someone has obviously reported all this and the police pulled him over. He’s not been fined or anything like that, they just gave him a lecture but also said it was being logged with social services??

Does anyone know what will happen next, I’m absolutely beside myself.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Thread gallery
6
hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 13:54

@AnneValentine

@Soontobe60 does not have to explain the comment for you. I already did that, yesterday.

I apologised for any offence, explained I did not intend to be ableist, corrected your interpretation of my comment (blind people are useless! WTF) AND said I would be happy for MNHQ to remove if they deemed necessary.

What do you actually fucking want here?

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 14:06

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 13:54

@AnneValentine

@Soontobe60 does not have to explain the comment for you. I already did that, yesterday.

I apologised for any offence, explained I did not intend to be ableist, corrected your interpretation of my comment (blind people are useless! WTF) AND said I would be happy for MNHQ to remove if they deemed necessary.

What do you actually fucking want here?

I suggest you go back up and read what I responded to. Did I question you further? No. I did not. But along came @Soontobe60 and stuck her nose in. So perhaps ask her what she wanted.

Using disabled people in the way that you did is ableist, I flagged that, you acted like an adult and owned it which I respected. And still do. I have no idea why anyone felt the need to stick their nose in.

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Families General parenting
AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I asked them to because they came along and said that isn’t how your comment was intended. Had they not done that I would have had no reason to engage with them now would I.

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 15:06

@AnneValentine

I asked them to because they came along and said that isn’t how your comment was intended. Had they not done that I would have had no reason to engage with them now would I.

Like I said, I already explained it.

You didn't have to engage with them, but actually you could have been a bit cleverer and said, 'I know', Santa explained yesterday. You chose not to acknowledge my explanation or apology and acted as if you have no idea.

How about you give it up now?

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 15:10

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 15:06

@AnneValentine

I asked them to because they came along and said that isn’t how your comment was intended. Had they not done that I would have had no reason to engage with them now would I.

Like I said, I already explained it.

You didn't have to engage with them, but actually you could have been a bit cleverer and said, 'I know', Santa explained yesterday. You chose not to acknowledge my explanation or apology and acted as if you have no idea.

How about you give it up now?

Edited

Yes. YOU did. And the matter was closed. By both of us. And then some random came along and restarted it. Not me. THEM.

And whilst you explained that doesn’t mean it wasn’t an ableist remark, you didn’t intend it but it still was so no “I know” wouldn’t have been appropriate.

As for your comment I didn’t reply to, you were aggressive and swearing. I chose not to respond.

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 15:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

No. I did not get you deleted for swearing.

strawberry2017 · 01/01/2024 16:11

If she's rear facing have you not got a mirror so you can still keep an eye on her?
Your husband was an idiot he should have pulled over the minute he knew she was free.

BertieBotts · 01/01/2024 18:10

This thread has gone totally nuts Confused

glad you found a working solution OP.

Soontobe60 · 01/01/2024 20:24

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 14:06

I suggest you go back up and read what I responded to. Did I question you further? No. I did not. But along came @Soontobe60 and stuck her nose in. So perhaps ask her what she wanted.

Using disabled people in the way that you did is ableist, I flagged that, you acted like an adult and owned it which I respected. And still do. I have no idea why anyone felt the need to stick their nose in.

Show quote history

Surely you’re the one who ‘stuck her nose in’ as you were the one who claimed something that hadn’t happened. Why you're being so argumentative I really don't know. The comment was not ableist in my opinion. I am entitled to that opinion as are you to yours.
If you're not able to comment on a post without being insulting for no reason, then perhaps MN isn't the place for you.

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 22:28

Soontobe60 · 01/01/2024 20:24

Surely you’re the one who ‘stuck her nose in’ as you were the one who claimed something that hadn’t happened. Why you're being so argumentative I really don't know. The comment was not ableist in my opinion. I am entitled to that opinion as are you to yours.
If you're not able to comment on a post without being insulting for no reason, then perhaps MN isn't the place for you.

Show quote history

I haven’t insulted anyone.

If you cannot see that using a person with disability to point score is ableist that’s for you to unpack and is not my problem.

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 22:30

If you cannot see that using a person with disability to point score is ableist that’s for you to unpack and is not my problem.

I DID NOT do that. Please stop.

I have been deleted twice for swearing and questioning the delete but come on you are being so bloody goady here. I can do no more. Stop talking about my comment as if I haven't already apologised.

I wasn't trying to score anything.

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 22:41

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 22:30

If you cannot see that using a person with disability to point score is ableist that’s for you to unpack and is not my problem.

I DID NOT do that. Please stop.

I have been deleted twice for swearing and questioning the delete but come on you are being so bloody goady here. I can do no more. Stop talking about my comment as if I haven't already apologised.

I wasn't trying to score anything.

yes you did. You used a blind man as part of a petty row. There was no need at all to reference anyone with any kind of disability at all. Disabled people are used time and time again in a negative way and it has to stop. You think it’s fine. I disagree.

And if you want it to stop tell that to the third party who several hours later returned and started again. For the SECOND time. Not me.

To repeat - I did not report you for swearing. You are being aggressive and personal - swearing is not an issue. The rest is.

Torchdino · 01/01/2024 22:50

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 13:52

This! It’s not rocket science. And the fact that there car seats designed that are safety tested to solve the issue should be enough.

Show quote history

The car seats have been tested, but they haven't been tested with clips from other manufacturers. Quick removal of the straps in case of accident is one concern, another is that if they shatter during a crash and enter the chest of a child with force that's very bad news. Of course as you say the balance between having a child loose in a car vs adding an additional risk for something that is thankfully unlikely to happen in the first place is important; finding a solution beyond a plastic clip is however the even better option. Some car seats are more secure than others for example.

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 22:54

yes you did. You used a blind man as part of a petty row. There was no need at all to reference anyone with any kind of disability at all. Disabled people are used time and time again in a negative way and it has to stop. You think it’s fine. I disagree.

I did not say it was fine though. I have not once argued that I was right.

And if you want it to stop tell that to the third party who several hours later returned and started again. For the SECOND time. Not me.

It's you I want to stop though. You are discussing my comment as if I hadn't already apologised and acknowledged it was wrong to say what I said. That's my issue here. I have done all I can to put it right but when someone else jumped in you were quick to comment and ask them to explain my comment, which I had already done.

I think if you want to raise the issue of ableism you should have enough respect to acknowledge when someone has admitted they were wrong, apologised and leave it alone.

To repeat - I did not report you for swearing. You are being aggressive and personal - swearing is not an issue. The rest is.

I don't think defending and repeating myself is aggressive but clearly you think otherwise, that's fair enough, tone is hard to read and I'm not here to care what you think of me.

Just to clarify though, my comments where you have accused me of ableism are not the ones which have been deleted.

Torchdino · 01/01/2024 22:54

You are suggesting that only a blind person could be that useless. That is not ok.

Not useless, but unable to see. Bad taste, yes, but it doesn't read like they're suggesting someone is a useless person because they're blind, but that someone who didn't see a child remove themselves from a car seat, climb into the front seat whilst you're driving is likely to have issues with their vision. Which is correct, and they shouldn't be on the roads with the lack of awareness!

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 23:02

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 22:54

yes you did. You used a blind man as part of a petty row. There was no need at all to reference anyone with any kind of disability at all. Disabled people are used time and time again in a negative way and it has to stop. You think it’s fine. I disagree.

I did not say it was fine though. I have not once argued that I was right.

And if you want it to stop tell that to the third party who several hours later returned and started again. For the SECOND time. Not me.

It's you I want to stop though. You are discussing my comment as if I hadn't already apologised and acknowledged it was wrong to say what I said. That's my issue here. I have done all I can to put it right but when someone else jumped in you were quick to comment and ask them to explain my comment, which I had already done.

I think if you want to raise the issue of ableism you should have enough respect to acknowledge when someone has admitted they were wrong, apologised and leave it alone.

To repeat - I did not report you for swearing. You are being aggressive and personal - swearing is not an issue. The rest is.

I don't think defending and repeating myself is aggressive but clearly you think otherwise, that's fair enough, tone is hard to read and I'm not here to care what you think of me.

Just to clarify though, my comments where you have accused me of ableism are not the ones which have been deleted.

They aren’t the ones I reported.

I DID leave it alone. The other poster is the one who keeps dragging it up. Not me.

what I did was respond to the other poster who decide to position what you said as fine and not ableist. I asked them to explain because THEY claimed it wasn’t ableist. Perhaps you should try telling them to stop defending you rather than telling me to stop responding to them defending something that is not ok. Sure you apologised. Great. So why are they stating what you said was fine? I will not sit back and allow ableism to go unchecked and that includes when someone else defends something as seen here.

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 23:05

Torchdino · 01/01/2024 22:54

You are suggesting that only a blind person could be that useless. That is not ok.

Not useless, but unable to see. Bad taste, yes, but it doesn't read like they're suggesting someone is a useless person because they're blind, but that someone who didn't see a child remove themselves from a car seat, climb into the front seat whilst you're driving is likely to have issues with their vision. Which is correct, and they shouldn't be on the roads with the lack of awareness!

Other than a blind person possibly would have detected the quietness from child, the change in noise movement etc. the fact is - bad taste like you say - but using disability to illustrate a point isn’t ok. Something that has been recognised so there really is no need to go over it again with another person.

Torchdino · 01/01/2024 23:11

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 23:05

Other than a blind person possibly would have detected the quietness from child, the change in noise movement etc. the fact is - bad taste like you say - but using disability to illustrate a point isn’t ok. Something that has been recognised so there really is no need to go over it again with another person.

Show quote history

They wouldn't be driving in the first place is the point! You don't have to go over it with anyone, but you keep picking on a poster who has been over it many times, perhaps just log off for a bit or something!

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 23:18

Torchdino · 01/01/2024 23:11

They wouldn't be driving in the first place is the point! You don't have to go over it with anyone, but you keep picking on a poster who has been over it many times, perhaps just log off for a bit or something!

Show quote history

No. I have not. I left it. Someone else came along and announced no issue with what was said. I responded accordingly.

The other poster returned and redressed with me. I replied. Again. I then left it.

And then the other poster returned AGAIN.

And now you.

If people stopped bringing it up it would die. And if the other one hadn’t defended the use of a disabled person none of this would happen.

And to repeat, using disabled people in this way is NOT ok. Ever.

And. I have left it. Several times. Stop quoting me. Tagging me. Addressing me. Continuing the subject. And guess what. It will stop. Check back. I don’t keep posting unless someone addresses me. For clarity if you want the topic stopped, the walk away. Don’t tell me what to do. You don’t get the “I’m having my say and removing your right to respond”.

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 23:20

They aren’t the ones I reported.

I DID leave it alone. The other poster is the one who keeps dragging it up. Not me.

You didn't have to respond. You already made your point about my comments, and as far as I was concerned that was the end

what I did was respond to the other poster who decide to position what you said as fine and not ableist. I asked them to explain because THEY claimed it wasn’t ableist. Perhaps you should try telling them to stop defending you rather than telling me to stop responding to them defending something that is not ok. Sure you apologised. Great. So why are they stating what you said was fine? I will not sit back and allow ableism to go unchecked and that includes when someone else defends something as seen here.

You could have said to that poster, since you felt the need to step in, 'it wasn't ok but Santa has acknowledged this already. So a good way of firming your point, but not raising any further debate becsue what you did was ask the poster to explain MY comment. That annoyed me because I had already been over it several times and once I apologies etc I do feel like you were being inflammatory rather than defensive about disability.

A better person would have acknowledged that other poster by saying 'Santa was wrong; and has said so' not by issuing a challenge to explain.

I don't care about the deleted posts, the ones that matter and show the timeline of events are still standing.

Now please, can you just drop it?

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 23:22

If people stopped bringing it up it would die.

I'm always going. To return to defend myself here. I'm happy to be wrong and I'm happy to be corrected, but, If I make a mistake and own it I don't expect to see the person who pulled me up on it in the first place still acting as if I haven't already apologised.

AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 23:28

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 23:20

They aren’t the ones I reported.

I DID leave it alone. The other poster is the one who keeps dragging it up. Not me.

You didn't have to respond. You already made your point about my comments, and as far as I was concerned that was the end

what I did was respond to the other poster who decide to position what you said as fine and not ableist. I asked them to explain because THEY claimed it wasn’t ableist. Perhaps you should try telling them to stop defending you rather than telling me to stop responding to them defending something that is not ok. Sure you apologised. Great. So why are they stating what you said was fine? I will not sit back and allow ableism to go unchecked and that includes when someone else defends something as seen here.

You could have said to that poster, since you felt the need to step in, 'it wasn't ok but Santa has acknowledged this already. So a good way of firming your point, but not raising any further debate becsue what you did was ask the poster to explain MY comment. That annoyed me because I had already been over it several times and once I apologies etc I do feel like you were being inflammatory rather than defensive about disability.

A better person would have acknowledged that other poster by saying 'Santa was wrong; and has said so' not by issuing a challenge to explain.

I don't care about the deleted posts, the ones that matter and show the timeline of events are still standing.

Now please, can you just drop it?

  1. as far as I was concerned it was also the end. And then another poster came along and presented an ableist position which I called out. And would again.
  2. they were rude and ableist. I responded appropriately.
  3. how you choose to handle things isn’t going to be everyone’s.
  4. as I’ve stated repeatedly, I have dropped it. Repeatedly. You and others are the ones who keep continuing it and seem to think you have the right to respond whilst telling me I cannot. That isn’t how life works. If you want to drop it, drop it. Stop continuing the exchange. Easy.
AnneValentine · 01/01/2024 23:29

hometimesanta · 01/01/2024 23:22

If people stopped bringing it up it would die.

I'm always going. To return to defend myself here. I'm happy to be wrong and I'm happy to be corrected, but, If I make a mistake and own it I don't expect to see the person who pulled me up on it in the first place still acting as if I haven't already apologised.

Yet here you are telling me I cannot do the same.

And I am not acting as though you didn’t apologise. I’m acting as though someone came along after you and continued with the ableist attitude. And I bet they come back again.