Child escaped car seat…referral to social services

[A2010]

My 2 year old daughter absolutely hates sitting in her car seat and escapes literally every 30 seconds.

My husband took her out today when she escaped her car seat and climbed in to the passenger seat. He should have stopped but he told me because he was nearly there he didn’t. Which has absolutely infuriated me😭

Anyway, someone has obviously reported all this and the police pulled him over. He’s not been fined or anything like that, they just gave him a lecture but also said it was being logged with social services??

Does anyone know what will happen next, I’m absolutely beside myself.

You do realise her father was lying don't you?

The device OP has ordered doesn't impede the opening in one button function of the car seat.

OP you probably have already done this but do check the straps are at the right height. If they are too low then DC find it much easier to escape. But even in a correctly fitted seat children can still escape. All they have to do is suck their tummy in and this creates a gap.

I do think unfortunately if you've tried clips then this one is likely to be no better, they can fairly easily push it out of the way. It works to deter an opportunist escapee, but not a persistent one. Add on devices are best used ASAP after you discover a child makes a successful escape as it can break the habit. If they get used to being able to get out, it just makes them more determined.

The shield car seats like Cybex Pallas are a better option than being unrestrained. There are a few offers on the G one that people have linked a few times in the thread.

i reckon he was driving longer than he says with her unrestrained and the police just noticed and pulled him

hes lucky he hasnt got a fine aswell

In the context of a traffic stop, for them to do a SS referral, your DH must've either been arguing with them or massively playing it down/refusing to see it as a big deal which would cause the officers to have concerns

I had a dc who did this it was so stressful I hated driving anywhere with them. Not going to lie I bought a tablet holder for the back of the car and put their favourite show on for any car journey that usually distracted them.
I also had a muslin square tucked super tightly over the car seat clip and extra clip that were on the car seat.
That worked most of the time but God it was so stressful going anywhere in the car until they grew out of it.

I had an escapee. Tried all the harnesses, tried putting him in at the very tightest setting but that's hopeless if they can undo the harness. Got the fright of my life the first time it happened on the motorway and he was stood in between the driver and passenger seat. And yes I obviously pulled straight in and strapped him back in. And yes I did give him into trouble firmly but in reality he was less than 2 so continued to push boundaries by doing it everytime he was in the car.

So we switched to a forward facing seat with an inpact shield. I understand the car seat safety fb group advice is extended rear facing and against the impact shield however I feel this is a tested seat that keeps them in is much safer than a child completely unrestrained every single journey. I had the cybex sirona so it was slightly different shape than the previous one linked but there was literally no getting out of it and it worked for us to get out of the bad habit.

They are not going to remove your child so don’t worry, you’re not as risk of that. A huge part of social services is supporting families. Something like this hardly meets the threshold for anything, especially if you can demonstrate that you’ve actually bought and tried several harnesses so stop her, so you’re trying. Hopefully they’ll have time to have a chat with you, and in particular your husband, to offer advice and support and also impress upon him how dangerous his actions were. He made a bad choice, there is no way around that. He decided to put her in an dangerous situation but he has also made it harder to teach her, because she got away with it and was allowed to sit in the front without her seat, so she is going to want to do it more now, not less. That’s an issue. He made a poor choice and I do think he needs the scare of social services talking to him about his decision making. But that’s all that will happen.

For those saying 'oh paramedics/fire brigade etc won't be able to get a kid out of a carseat with extra devices attached'... they can, they do, they carry cutters precisely for cutting people including kids out of trapped belts. Good idea to have one in your car yourself though.

I think the risk of being trapped in a seat is the better one, compared to the risk of an accident caused by a kid climbing around distracting the driver.

When my sister went through that phase, she simply did not travel in the car unless there was a second adult to wrangle her, which was a pain in the arse I am sure, but apparently better than an RTA. (This was pre the days of modern car seats!)

Ds was the same,escaped from everything. We bought a cover for the buckle from Halfords which was tenner (over 20 years ago!) and he'd broken the flipping thing before we left the car park. In the end we used gaffer tape and carried a pair of scissors in the car. It got tiresome very quickly but was the only way. There weren't as many options back then as there are these days. Get something sorted fast OP.

A properly fitted car seat they shouldn’t be able to escape from.

you can get things that stop children with Sen escaping. I would make it an absolute priority. I’ve gone to accidents where a child isn’t been in a car seat and it’s devastating.

No, it’s higher than most if anything. I just don’t pay much attention to people in other cars. Usually just watching the lights, or if a passenger, reading or on my phone. A lot of my driving is motorway/dual carriageways, I also tend to be either very early morning/late at night (shift worker) so don’t really see ‘normal’ traffic much.

If SS thought it was a worry (which I highly doubt) they would have a strategy meeting with police, health visitor and gp. They would decide if it met threshold for an investigation (which it wouldn't) and case would be closed.

For the love of god. Don’t padlock your child into a car seat!!!

in an accident that will screw the emergency services over. Might be a line between life and death.

My eldest was an absolute beast for wriggling out of his car seat. We sat him down and explained that he needed to keep buckled up like mummy and daddy and did an emergency stop (at 20 mph) to demonstrate why.

He changed his behaviour. Fortunately. Try this as DD needs to know why and may change her mind. Show her pictures of racing drivers in their five pronged straps.

Also DH is a bit of a knob. Most accidents happen close to home.

Cybex are one of the best seats on the market.

well obviously if you are reading your phone you wouldn't notice, but that is not the same as not being able to see!

American style car seats have a chest clip that would be highly difficult for a child to undo, they are also incredibly safety conscious

At 2yo my DD was a positive Houdini and regularly got out of her car seat, normally I would spot it in the rearview mirror and pull over. One day she climbed in to the car (2-door car) and on the way in she broke off the rearview mirror. I strapped her in and set off to get a new mirror, only to be pulled over by the police - she had escaped her seat and climbed onto the rear shelf, but without the rearview mirror I hadn't seen her. They checked the car, and I got 3 points and a fine - for a bald tyre, the only points I have ever had on my license. I bought the most escape proof expensive car seat I could afford and luckily it worked.

The car seat like the Cybex Pallas which has the waist belt. Rather than the 5 point harness. Is amazing.

Sometimes it's not safe to stop straight away.

True 😁. This thread has taught me I should pay more attention to what’s going on around me though. I tend to notice pedestrians more when I’m not on the motorway, particularly if they have dogs (lots and lots of dog walkers near me)!

Your poor husband must have been so frustrated with your toddler.
Rear facing and sitting in the back is best for all but if being next to him will aid her sitting in her car seat longer, maybe move the seat to the front?
Also, buy a shirt and put it on her backwards, there's YouTube clips on this.

@A2010 what kind of seat are you using? sounds very stressful. I’m also wondering if DH is telling you the whole story.

If you do end up with a new seat, can you go somewhere where she can be 'fitted' and try a few out?

Also if you do add anything to the straps of your current seat, just make sure someone else could get your child out quickly in an emergency (should you be in an accident and not be able to get her our yourself).

My 1st went through a short phase of doing this. I had to pull over every time. Didn't matter how upset he got, we were not going anywhere till he let me put his arms back in (and kept them). Bribery of chocolate buttons once we got to destination worked too.

I’m almost certain they’re not legal in the uk. For a safety reason. Hence why car seats aren’t sold with them.