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Original poster

Child escaped car seat…referral to social services

305 replies

A2010 · 30/12/2023 16:48

My 2 year old daughter absolutely hates sitting in her car seat and escapes literally every 30 seconds.

My husband took her out today when she escaped her car seat and climbed in to the passenger seat. He should have stopped but he told me because he was nearly there he didn’t. Which has absolutely infuriated me😭

Anyway, someone has obviously reported all this and the police pulled him over. He’s not been fined or anything like that, they just gave him a lecture but also said it was being logged with social services??

Does anyone know what will happen next, I’m absolutely beside myself.

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SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 18:37

Rear facing in the front might work as you can talk with her whilst driving and she wants to be in the front anyway?

Easylivin · 30/12/2023 18:37

coolkatt · 30/12/2023 17:17

your not fitting your child properly in her seat. you don't need a lecture on what could happen at any second.
you absolutely should be binning those car seats and getting a proper fitted one your child will not escape from. if she can open the latch get a padlock. if she can escape the harness it's not tight enough. coats should be off and all fitted snugly. go to a reputable seller, put her in every single seat possible. don't buy just for names or brands. get the one that does its job. good luck.

Absolutely do not get a padlock 🤦 but you are probably able to adjust the fit to make it hard to get out. There are Facebook groups that can advise.

mrsbyers · 30/12/2023 18:37

Should have been sorted the first time she escaped regardless of whose care she was in - the fact you’ve let this continue is ridiculous

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Occasional2023 · 30/12/2023 18:38

WiddlinDiddlin · 30/12/2023 18:25

For those saying 'oh paramedics/fire brigade etc won't be able to get a kid out of a carseat with extra devices attached'... they can, they do, they carry cutters precisely for cutting people including kids out of trapped belts. Good idea to have one in your car yourself though.

I think the risk of being trapped in a seat is the better one, compared to the risk of an accident caused by a kid climbing around distracting the driver.

When my sister went through that phase, she simply did not travel in the car unless there was a second adult to wrangle her, which was a pain in the arse I am sure, but apparently better than an RTA. (This was pre the days of modern car seats!)

My concern would be if the car was on fire. The fire brigade with their equipment wouldn't get there in time would they. Also as someone else mentioned, on Smart motorways you need to get kid out of car pronto.

Cerealkiller4U · 30/12/2023 18:38

Strictlymad · 30/12/2023 18:32

American style car seats have a chest clip that would be highly difficult for a child to undo, they are also incredibly safety conscious

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Yeah. I don’t think we have them

Child escaped car seat…referral to social services
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Child escaped car seat…referral to social services
middleeasternpromise · 30/12/2023 18:39

People often don't realise agencies have a duty to refer to one another. The police decided the incident didn't meet threshold for criminal response but they cannot make the decision that there isn't a safeguarding issue, therefore they are required to make a referral/notification when they have been involved with children to social services. Health professionals would do the same and social services personnel have the same duty when an incident comes to their attention but might meet criminal threshold, they have to do a police notification for them to make their own decisions about their respective legal responsibilities.

Depending on the level of detail the officers put on their notification and how pressed your local social services is, you may get nothing (NFA at source); a letter with advice or a phone call. A visit is a remote possibility but depends on your area and their pressures. This all depends on if you have prior relationship with the agency as they will be more interested if there is prior referrals/pattern of concerns.

If you see at as people doing their jobs rather than someone making an arbitrary decision to make things more difficult perhaps it might help if/when you have to deal with any further follow up.

In terms of children escaping, all I can say is I would agree with your point about consistency. If your daughter gets different responses from you both in relation to a problem behaviour, she is going to be less likely to make the change you are seeking as she will be confused about what she can and cannot do. She may see it as a game the getting out and climbing around if one of you stops and responds and the other keeps driving.

FlyingCherub · 30/12/2023 18:39

Police will stop you instantly if they can see a child moving around, they've seen too many horrific accidents where kids aren't secured. I've reported cars myself on the motorway where I've seen kids not strapped into seats.

I would phone the Police yourself OP and see if they give you the same version of events.

TyrannasaurusJex · 30/12/2023 18:40

As PP said, how was he "nearly there" if there was time for someone to report him and the police to find and pull him over??

doggiedoodah · 30/12/2023 18:43

SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 17:33

How did someone report him to the police, police dispatched, police find his car and pull him over so close to his destination?

HNRTFT but this is exactly what I was thinking!

AnneValentine · 30/12/2023 18:45

A2010 · 30/12/2023 17:11

That’s so funny you tagged that item, because that’s what I’ve just ordered!

They aren’t safe and are specifically advised against. Some insurance companies actually invalidate insurance over it.

As the parent of an escaper I recommend bumper car seats. Like the cybex.

triballeader · 30/12/2023 18:46

After a car seat escape by my ASD son who decided to play Peekaboo and cover my eyes whilst I was driving……..caused a low speed collision no one hurt but my no claims bonus insurance took the hit…I contacted the in car safety centre in Milton Keynes. they can offer extras beyond the standard that Halford do and they also sell a seat belt ripper and window hammer if you do need a more specialist hyperactive harness system. [Son did try and escape from the very specialist extra needs seat they provided and could not so worth the cost]

Doteycat · 30/12/2023 18:54

He's lying about the amount of time she was out of her seat.

OhwhyOY · 30/12/2023 19:01

My daughter escaped her seat a lot. We have a BeSafe belt collector (a clip that holds the straps togerther) and put a piece of velcro (the scratchy bit) on the button that clicks open the harness as apparently kids don't like the feel of it. She now can't escape, though does sometimes still manage to wiggle out of the straps.

MumoftwoGranofone · 30/12/2023 19:01

I think I would consider this a useful wake up call and get a new car seated asap.

BerriesNutsConkers · 30/12/2023 19:04

My ds was a real houdini. Its frightening when they escape, he was small with hypermobile joints also complicated by ASD and learning difficulties.We needed a special harness in the end!
Your dh should have pulled over as soon as he could.

housethatbuiltme · 30/12/2023 19:05

how on earth is she escaping if its fastened correctly?

I struggle to get them in and out its that hard to fasten and unfasten, its literally impossible for my kids to undo (and they can undo baby gates etc... easily so not thick its just physically really hard to do and requires a lot of pressure to release). None of my three have ever escaped a car seat. Without undoing the buckle they couldn't get out as its so tight, if they can wiggle out of the straps its so loose it would be useless in a crash.

ImNotAsThinkAsYouDrunkIAm · 30/12/2023 19:06

SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 18:37

Rear facing in the front might work as you can talk with her whilst driving and she wants to be in the front anyway?

Please only do this if you can turn the airbags off.

RosesAndHellebores · 30/12/2023 19:09

She should have been in a safe car seat with non escape features but I can't help thinking that when I was 2, there was no such thing as car seats, there weren't seat belts generally in the rear seats of cars. Seat belts became mandatory in about 1991 I think.

When I was 8 to about 16 about 8/9 of us used to pile into the boot of the local GP's volvo with the dogs.

Children just a year or three older than mine, probably approaching mid 30s now, slept in their carrycots on the back seat, with a seat belt harness thing.

Aged two to two and a half my dc sat on booster seats with just the seat belt.

I'm not saying our old norms were as safe as today's norms but this does seem to be a bit of a mountain out of a molehill and sight seems to have been lost in relation to probability.

Lookingatthesunset · 30/12/2023 19:10

RosesAndHellebores · 30/12/2023 19:09

She should have been in a safe car seat with non escape features but I can't help thinking that when I was 2, there was no such thing as car seats, there weren't seat belts generally in the rear seats of cars. Seat belts became mandatory in about 1991 I think.

When I was 8 to about 16 about 8/9 of us used to pile into the boot of the local GP's volvo with the dogs.

Children just a year or three older than mine, probably approaching mid 30s now, slept in their carrycots on the back seat, with a seat belt harness thing.

Aged two to two and a half my dc sat on booster seats with just the seat belt.

I'm not saying our old norms were as safe as today's norms but this does seem to be a bit of a mountain out of a molehill and sight seems to have been lost in relation to probability.

Bloody hell - we know better nowadays!! Are you mad?

RosesAndHellebores · 30/12/2023 19:12

@Lookingatthesunset certainly not. Are you?

Lookingatthesunset · 30/12/2023 19:13

I'm not the one harking back to dangerous practices...!!! And talking about a loose child in a car in 2023 being making a mountain out of a molehill??? That's beyond mad.

SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 19:14

RosesAndHellebores · 30/12/2023 19:09

She should have been in a safe car seat with non escape features but I can't help thinking that when I was 2, there was no such thing as car seats, there weren't seat belts generally in the rear seats of cars. Seat belts became mandatory in about 1991 I think.

When I was 8 to about 16 about 8/9 of us used to pile into the boot of the local GP's volvo with the dogs.

Children just a year or three older than mine, probably approaching mid 30s now, slept in their carrycots on the back seat, with a seat belt harness thing.

Aged two to two and a half my dc sat on booster seats with just the seat belt.

I'm not saying our old norms were as safe as today's norms but this does seem to be a bit of a mountain out of a molehill and sight seems to have been lost in relation to probability.

Sorry @RosesAndHellebores have to take issue with this.

Road traffic accidents are a preventable cause of death.

A small child through the windscreen dies.

Seaside3 · 30/12/2023 19:15

Sorry, op, but you're both responsible fir this.

  1. There's ni way a 2 year-old should be able to undo a seat if fastened in properly
  2. Every single time it happens you stop and out her back in, with a stern word.
  3. Make her journey more enjoyable. Toys, songs, tablet (if that's your thing)
  4. Praise good behaviour

And lastly, your husband is lying. She was out her seat for more than a couple of minutes. I hope he's learnt a lesson.