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Original poster

Child escaped car seat…referral to social services

305 replies

A2010 · 30/12/2023 16:48

My 2 year old daughter absolutely hates sitting in her car seat and escapes literally every 30 seconds.

My husband took her out today when she escaped her car seat and climbed in to the passenger seat. He should have stopped but he told me because he was nearly there he didn’t. Which has absolutely infuriated me😭

Anyway, someone has obviously reported all this and the police pulled him over. He’s not been fined or anything like that, they just gave him a lecture but also said it was being logged with social services??

Does anyone know what will happen next, I’m absolutely beside myself.

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Doteycat · 30/12/2023 19:16

Would you consider it making a mountain out of a molehill if the 2 Yr old went through the windscreen?
Idiotic comments.
And ignorant.
I would be having a serious conversation with my dh if he brought this trouble to our door by his carelessness.
It's quite unforgivable.

MerryBlueberry · 30/12/2023 19:22

@A2010 he wasn’t nearly home and he just drove home. He drove with her in the front for quite a while. There was time for another person in another car to see her, to call 999, for them to dispatch a police officer and find him and stop him. Unless they looked up where you lived and came to your house later on. But you know the issue is with him, and that he should have stopped. Any drunken idiot hitting your car and your daughter is out the windscreen. How about one of those car seats that have a lap bar that clicks into place to protect their spine more as they roll in a collision rather than a harness? Can she tell you why she doesn’t like it? Is there a sharp bit of strap digging in?

In the US everyone uses a chest clip and you would be kept upon for not using but over here it’s the opposite l

FortunataTagnips · 30/12/2023 19:23

When very-bendy DD was that age, an extra chest clip on the five-point harness was the only thing that would keep her in.
She’s now 9, and we use a high-back booster with an extra Crelling harness plus a chest clip. It’s a bit of a palaver but a lot better than the alternative.
The In-Car Safety Centre have been very helpful at every stage.

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MerryBlueberry · 30/12/2023 19:24

RosesAndHellebores · 30/12/2023 19:09

She should have been in a safe car seat with non escape features but I can't help thinking that when I was 2, there was no such thing as car seats, there weren't seat belts generally in the rear seats of cars. Seat belts became mandatory in about 1991 I think.

When I was 8 to about 16 about 8/9 of us used to pile into the boot of the local GP's volvo with the dogs.

Children just a year or three older than mine, probably approaching mid 30s now, slept in their carrycots on the back seat, with a seat belt harness thing.

Aged two to two and a half my dc sat on booster seats with just the seat belt.

I'm not saying our old norms were as safe as today's norms but this does seem to be a bit of a mountain out of a molehill and sight seems to have been lost in relation to probability.

Also less cars on the road, people driving less, people driving slower. But also more deaths so who cares? Maybe go back to when you were also encouraged to smoke whilst pregnant as that didn’t have a 100% death rate so must be fine?

In my day……

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 30/12/2023 19:27

SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 18:37

Rear facing in the front might work as you can talk with her whilst driving and she wants to be in the front anyway?

Do not fit rear-facing child seats into the front passenger seat if you have front airbags. If the airbags deploy, they will crush your child between the child seat and the back of the passenger seat.

I wouldn't do this with my nephew even though I can turn my airbags off. I've only got to forget to turn the airbags off once...

Readyforrespite · 30/12/2023 19:28

What car seat do you have? Mine have never escaped and I'm wondering if it is because with theirs the head rest comes down when the harness is tightened so I'm not really sure how they could escape. We have the Axkid Minikid.

Differentstarts · 30/12/2023 19:28

Although I do understand because my kids did this. I don't think your husband is being fully honest with you.

nottodaytomorrow · 30/12/2023 19:29

Honestly if the threat of SS calling is what it took to make you do something proactive about the situation then see it as a good thing. Sounds like it was needed.

nottodaytomorrow · 30/12/2023 19:33

Bibbitybobbitty · 30/12/2023 17:52

Fire brigade don't usually like the extra fasteners on straps as it makes it more difficult in an emergency for them to get childrennout quickly. The cybex seats who have already been recommended are great for escapees.

Rubbish! Everyday safety is more important. Emergency services will cut the straps to remove a child in the very rare event of an accident..

Lewiscapaldiscat · 30/12/2023 19:34

Get a Houdini clip - those Halfords sets are rubbish -

Original poster
A2010 · 30/12/2023 19:36

I’ve just bought the Houdini clip as well 👍

OP posts:
NoTouch · 30/12/2023 19:39

A2010 · 30/12/2023 18:12

I just want to say we have tried so many ways of stopping her from doing it. I’ve bought 3 different contraptions which she has found her way out of.

I am trying this last option and then I’ll be buying a new car seat.

How does she get out, are the straps too loose or is she opening the button?

What have you bought before? No point in anyone recommending the same 3 things you have already tried.

CleanAsYouG0 · 30/12/2023 19:39

You might want to look into career options as a locksmith for your DD when she's older. She sounds like a talented lass.

doggiedoodah · 30/12/2023 19:42

@RosesAndHellebores …I am probably a similar age to you and yes it was very different back in the day ….but cars are more powerful,more traffic,faster roads and people are generally more educated regarding road safety !!
I shall never forget the anguish as a nurse ,looking after a lady with two shattered legs ,whose toddler had died in the same accident. The grief and guilt that poor woman endured was beyond comprehension ,her toddler hadn’t been strapped in !

Seeingadistance · 30/12/2023 19:44

LutonBeds · 30/12/2023 18:03

I’m still not sure how someone else managed to see it? I’ve never been able when either a driver or passenger to look into another car and see in that much detail what the occupants were doing.

Assault can also turn into murder/manslaughter. The other points you mention are the reason I have alarms and steering locks.

Show quote history

It's really very noticeable when a small child is out of a car seat.

I phoned the police once when I saw a couple of children loose in a car. In town, so 30 mph. I was behind them and the children were moving around the car - standing on the seats etc - very easy to see what was happening. I was briefly next to them at traffic lights and gestured to the driver that the children should be in car seats - he blanked me.

Strictlymad · 30/12/2023 19:45

doggiedoodah · 30/12/2023 19:42

@RosesAndHellebores …I am probably a similar age to you and yes it was very different back in the day ….but cars are more powerful,more traffic,faster roads and people are generally more educated regarding road safety !!
I shall never forget the anguish as a nurse ,looking after a lady with two shattered legs ,whose toddler had died in the same accident. The grief and guilt that poor woman endured was beyond comprehension ,her toddler hadn’t been strapped in !

This! Truely heartbreaking, I can’t stand ‘in my day’ comments, yes you lived, many didn’t and things are safer and better now. Shall we put babies to sleep on their fronts, put brandy in their bottles and bleed already ill people to bleed out the illness …. I don’t think so

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 30/12/2023 19:47

RosesAndHellebores · 30/12/2023 19:09

She should have been in a safe car seat with non escape features but I can't help thinking that when I was 2, there was no such thing as car seats, there weren't seat belts generally in the rear seats of cars. Seat belts became mandatory in about 1991 I think.

When I was 8 to about 16 about 8/9 of us used to pile into the boot of the local GP's volvo with the dogs.

Children just a year or three older than mine, probably approaching mid 30s now, slept in their carrycots on the back seat, with a seat belt harness thing.

Aged two to two and a half my dc sat on booster seats with just the seat belt.

I'm not saying our old norms were as safe as today's norms but this does seem to be a bit of a mountain out of a molehill and sight seems to have been lost in relation to probability.

When I was a child, drivers and front passengers were routinely killed during collisions when the unrestrained rear passengers were thrown over the headrest-less front seat, breaking the front passenger and driver's necks. And the rear passengers then suffered fatal head and neck injuries on contact with the windscreen. Mandatory rear seat belts and front headrests eliminated those preventable deaths in cases where the rear passengers were adults but didn't stop a small child from becoming a fatal projectile or being killed.

Mandatory child seats now eliminate the hazards caused by having a small child loose or inadequately restrained in the car. No more does a small child break his parent's neck as he flies over the top of the driver's seat. No more does a small child collide with the windscreen at 70mph. As a PP said, an unrestrained small child can also cover the driver's eyes and cause a collision.

It's not worth taking the risk of any of these completely preventable outcomes just because the parent can't be bothered to stop and re-restrain the child.

Lookingatthesunset · 30/12/2023 19:51

doggiedoodah · 30/12/2023 19:42

@RosesAndHellebores …I am probably a similar age to you and yes it was very different back in the day ….but cars are more powerful,more traffic,faster roads and people are generally more educated regarding road safety !!
I shall never forget the anguish as a nurse ,looking after a lady with two shattered legs ,whose toddler had died in the same accident. The grief and guilt that poor woman endured was beyond comprehension ,her toddler hadn’t been strapped in !

That's awful - you must have been traumatised by what you witnessed.

I am probably a similar age too and I cannot actually believe that anyone would have posted such a stupid comment!

SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 19:54

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 30/12/2023 19:27

Do not fit rear-facing child seats into the front passenger seat if you have front airbags. If the airbags deploy, they will crush your child between the child seat and the back of the passenger seat.

I wouldn't do this with my nephew even though I can turn my airbags off. I've only got to forget to turn the airbags off once...

Edited
Show quote history

But most modern cars do allow you to turn the airbags off.

Off course they must be switched off, but a child in a correctly-fitted car seat there is safer than climbing around the car.

LangMayYerLumReek2024 · 30/12/2023 19:55

Social services are not the parenting police.

It's unlikely that you will even hear from them.

The most that is likely to happen is that someone will come and have a chat about car safety.

Please don't worry about this.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 30/12/2023 19:57

A2010 · 30/12/2023 18:12

I just want to say we have tried so many ways of stopping her from doing it. I’ve bought 3 different contraptions which she has found her way out of.

I am trying this last option and then I’ll be buying a new car seat.

When my DD did this, the thing that stopped it was me absolutely losing my shit over it in the car.

Generally speaking, I do not ever yell. But this was seriously dangerous and I needed her to just stop it.

IfTheresTeaTheresHope · 30/12/2023 19:58

A2010 · 30/12/2023 17:46

I don’t think I’ll be letting her travel with him again

She shouldn’t be travelling with either of you if she’s escaping literally every 30 seconds if you’re having to have one eye on her and the other on the road it’s not safe for anyone!

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 30/12/2023 19:58

SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 19:54

But most modern cars do allow you to turn the airbags off.

Off course they must be switched off, but a child in a correctly-fitted car seat there is safer than climbing around the car.

Show quote history

but a child in a correctly-fitted car seat there is safer than climbing around the car.

I'm not disputing that at all, I'm saying it's best to get a front-facing child seat if you want to put a child in the front.

Mikimoto · 30/12/2023 19:58

She is ALWAYS escaping and you didn't think to get a better car seat?
When it comes to child safety, not everything can be obtained from FreeBay you know.