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Original poster

Child escaped car seat…referral to social services

305 replies

A2010 · 30/12/2023 16:48

My 2 year old daughter absolutely hates sitting in her car seat and escapes literally every 30 seconds.

My husband took her out today when she escaped her car seat and climbed in to the passenger seat. He should have stopped but he told me because he was nearly there he didn’t. Which has absolutely infuriated me😭

Anyway, someone has obviously reported all this and the police pulled him over. He’s not been fined or anything like that, they just gave him a lecture but also said it was being logged with social services??

Does anyone know what will happen next, I’m absolutely beside myself.

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NoTouch · 30/12/2023 17:36

I am not surprised you are upset. Having to discuss with someone professional how you have both allowed her to continue to escape from her seat and actively done nothing about stopping it happening until caught by the police will be mortifying.

But take it for what it is. A wake up call to proactively look at all aspects of safety for your dd and solutions for any issues - in the car, around the home and out and about. She is two now, they get more capable, inquisitive and can get into all sorts of bother. I hope your dh is taking this as seriously as you now are.

Admit to the social worker it has been a much needed wake up call for both of you and you are back on the ball and they will just chalk it up to inexperience.

TeenLifeMum · 30/12/2023 17:39

@mfbx5sf3 my dd could get out of her maxi cosi 5 point harness from 18 months. I bought a strap like they use in New Zealand but was told they shouldn’t be used in the uk due to fire service finding them harder to release the dc. I contacted the fire service locally for advice and they felt the dc not flying through the car window was a higher priority so I used it. She only escaped twice before I acted and did something and I always pulled over when she freed herself. I can’t believe this dad carried on driving far enough for someone to see and report. I’d be livid with him.

StillWantingADog · 30/12/2023 17:41

Nothing more than a phone call.
But you need to sort this. I can’t believe it’s not possible to get a car seat or some kind of car seat attachment that is escape proof for a 2 year old.

not recommending this but if she’d be happier it’s perfectly legal to have her in the passenger seat as long as the airbag is off if the seat is rear facing. However at 2 years old that would be my last resort.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Families General parenting
WhichEllie · 30/12/2023 17:41

AreYouThereDog · 30/12/2023 17:30

Gently, OP, are you confident that your husband has given you the full story?

If he was so close to his destination that he decided to keep going, it seems unlikely that someone would have spotted him, called the police, and the police reached him in such a very short timeframe.

Any chance he could have been driving with her on the passenger seat for a more significant period of time and hasn’t told you?

Edited

Yes, I have to admit I would wonder if he regularly does this because he can’t be bothered to keep pulling over and putting her back.

fyn · 30/12/2023 17:43

We had an escapee and got this car seat, doesn’t even try to escape now! It’s not rear facing but equally infinitely safer than escaping!

https://www.johnlewis.com/cybex-pallas-g-i-size-car-seat-moon-black/p6387664?s_ppc=2dx_mixed_fashion_BAU&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAnL-sBhBnEiwAJRGigtyvkn7XMzWYl-t2RvXE06coVDMoAhA008ED4dXdJ-GMLR44AbPUnBoC0f0QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Original poster
A2010 · 30/12/2023 17:46

I don’t think I’ll be letting her travel with him again

OP posts:
enchantedsquirrelwood · 30/12/2023 17:48

This sounds astonishingly like another thread where a soon to be ex (I think) didn't stop as soon as his kids got out of their car seats (or undid the belts) on a motorway.

In that case it wasn't SS that got involved, but the police.

Cheesehound · 30/12/2023 17:48

SandyShores99 · 30/12/2023 17:33

How did someone report him to the police, police dispatched, police find his car and pull him over so close to his destination?

It’s possible. I’ve reported children being out of car seats twice and have seen police pull up alongside one car in minutes.

Jigglypuff87 · 30/12/2023 17:49

I wouldn't worry op, you have done the correct thing by ordering something to prevent this from happening again and correctly torn a strip off dh. If what you've ordered doesn't work pop a post of the sn boards. It's a common problem particularly among us and you'll get plenty of suggestions if you need them.

Tacotortoise · 30/12/2023 17:50

A2010 · 30/12/2023 17:00

Thanks for all your replies, I always stop straight away when she escapes when I’m driving and put her straight back and tell her no. So the social services referral has really upset me 😢

You know, there are several things you can do/purchase to stop her escaping in the first place.

Tacotortoise · 30/12/2023 17:51

Ah missed your post. Good.

Bibbitybobbitty · 30/12/2023 17:52

Fire brigade don't usually like the extra fasteners on straps as it makes it more difficult in an emergency for them to get childrennout quickly. The cybex seats who have already been recommended are great for escapees.

MamaGhina · 30/12/2023 17:52

Also think it’s pretty poor you haven’t sorted this issue out sooner. Whatever consequences you are giving her are obviously ineffective.

herewegoagainonmydog · 30/12/2023 17:52

Nobody has mentioned the Houdini strap. That's what I had to use. Off to google and see if it still exists.

NoTouch · 30/12/2023 17:53

I don’t think I’ll be letting her travel with him again

That is unsustainable. What's next, don't leave her home alone with him again, don't let him take her to the park alone again?

He was the one that was caught but you had a part here too, you knew she was escaping and did nothing to stop it happening. Getting caught is not the issue, allowing the risk to continue was.

It is only an issue if you now recognise the severity and risk of your inaction and he doesn't recognise his. If he doesn't you have bigger issues.

Therainfallingdownonme · 30/12/2023 17:53

herewegoagainonmydog · 30/12/2023 17:52

Nobody has mentioned the Houdini strap. That's what I had to use. Off to google and see if it still exists.

We have one. Ds just shoves it down and wriggles his arms out.

AreYouThereDog · 30/12/2023 17:53

A2010 · 30/12/2023 17:46

I don’t think I’ll be letting her travel with him again

How are you going to be able to control that? You refer to her as “my daughter” but is he her father?

diddl · 30/12/2023 17:54

A2010 · 30/12/2023 17:46

I don’t think I’ll be letting her travel with him again

Even if you manage to get her secured & she can't get out?

Honestly Op you both took the risk.

SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 17:54

A2010 · 30/12/2023 17:46

I don’t think I’ll be letting her travel with him again

If you don't trust him to do the basics, you have a very serious issue.

I don't think you should be too defensive with SS, just in case they have more to tell you than your DH has told you so far.

It is not great that you could previously have bought the harness but have only done so now!

Lookingatthesunset · 30/12/2023 17:54

The best way I found to sort this with my three was to stop immediately, every time, and strap them back in, until they learned not to do it.

herewegoagainonmydog · 30/12/2023 17:54

Yeah here we go!

Houdini Stop Clip amzn.eu/d/2W3Y3OB

Good luck OP

LutonBeds · 30/12/2023 17:55

I am astounded that a) someone was close enough to accurately witness and report that (obviously weren’t concentrating on their own driving)
and b) the police turned up, they don’t come out for burglary/car theft/assault but will do for this?

Therainfallingdownonme · 30/12/2023 17:56

@Lookingatthesunset That only works if you can

a) stop safely every time
b) have no time constraints (I don’t think that my workplace would be very happy with repeated lateness due to dropping ds late at nursery)
c) they don’t think it’s a wonderful game and laugh uproariously
d) you are going somewhere they want to go

RedHelenB · 30/12/2023 17:58

theduchessofspork · 30/12/2023 17:32

No more than a phone call.

But - sorry to be harsh OP - why the fuck haven’t you and DH sorted out a harness she can’t escape from. This is serious stuff.

This. It must be really distracting when you're driving.

SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 17:59

LutonBeds · 30/12/2023 17:55

I am astounded that a) someone was close enough to accurately witness and report that (obviously weren’t concentrating on their own driving)
and b) the police turned up, they don’t come out for burglary/car theft/assault but will do for this?

Current risk of injury/death is more urgent than something that has already happened, obviously. Avoiding future injury trumps invetigating assault, investigating assault trumps investigating property theft.

A young child was in a dangerous situation.