Child escaped car seat…referral to social services

[A2010]

My 2 year old daughter absolutely hates sitting in her car seat and escapes literally every 30 seconds.

My husband took her out today when she escaped her car seat and climbed in to the passenger seat. He should have stopped but he told me because he was nearly there he didn’t. Which has absolutely infuriated me😭

Anyway, someone has obviously reported all this and the police pulled him over. He’s not been fined or anything like that, they just gave him a lecture but also said it was being logged with social services??

Does anyone know what will happen next, I’m absolutely beside myself.

We have an Escape Me Not clip for our teeny Houdini, and it's really good.

https://amzn.eu/d/h0P628U

Maybe don't mention to social services that this has been happening for a while and you and your DH hadn't done anything about it. Thank goodness he got pulled over so you are actually fixing the problem..

I totally get that children must learn not to escape their safety harness, but my blood runs cold when I hear about extra straps or locks. If a car is in an accident and catches fire surely you MUST be able to get the kid out. I'd hate to hear of a child being killed because they had been so securely fastened into the car that they could not be got out.

My 2 year old regular removes her arms from the straps but isn’t able to actually take herself out of the seat (waist strap is too tight) how is your 2yo managing that? Wiggling out? Genuinely intrigued because I can imagine this is her next step 🤪

I had a Houdini , ( now 25 ) he’d get out and march across the back seat singing ! Once his dad , in desperation, gaffer taped the clasp . Not ideal , but got him home in one piece . You have my sympathy 💐

I’m still not sure how someone else managed to see it? I’ve never been able when either a driver or passenger to look into another car and see in that much detail what the occupants were doing.

Assault can also turn into murder/manslaughter. The other points you mention are the reason I have alarms and steering locks.

It worked for mine. No messing tolerated.

But now maybe you'll take it seriously and get a harness that she can't escape from rather than constantly taking the risk and stopping to put her back in.

If it is a serious assault that could end up manslaughter, that'll be a different team anyway.

But when I stand at traffic lights I can see into cars, sometimes for a number of minutes. When I am in the passenger seat I can see into cars, sometimes for a length of time.

Traffic moves slowly in town.

SS will check on their system to see if their have been any previous referrals in relation to your DD (or any other children you have). They may also contact your GP and nursery if they have these details. Assuming that this is the first concern logged with SS, then at most you’ll get a phone call (and then possible follow up home visit) from a SW to ensure that you and DH understand the concern and have a way to ensure your DD is not put at risk in the future (ie pulling over immediately in the future).

It’s positive that you have already looked at ways to stop this happening. I would also advise you to contact the car seat manufacturer / retailer to ask for advice to ensure that your DD is being correctly fastened and see if they can recommend any other solutions. I would then make SS aware (if they do contact you) of everything that you have done to ensure it won’t happen again.

SS, in most areas of the country, are incredibly overwhelmed, so it is possible that you won’t hear from them at all. However this will stay on your DDs SS “file” permanently, so even if they do not contact you on this occasion, if there is any future referral about your DD (or any other children) then this will also be considered when they assess the risk.

Also, as others have said, are you sure that your DH is being entirely honest about how long he allowed your DD to remain out of her seat before pulling over? Hopefully this will be a huge wake up call (for him) to pull over as soon as it is safe to do so if this happens again.

Not necessarily driving. I reported my concerns to the police twice - once when I was out walking the dog and another time when I was the passenger on a bus.

We had this issue with our youngest (many years ago). We found this car seat style stopped the problem instantly. He much preferred it, felt comfortable as no shoulder straps and he never escaped again as he couldn’t reach the clip.
https://www.johnlewis.com/cybex-pallas-g-i-size-car-seat-moon-black/p6387664?tmad=c&tmcampid=7&s_share=jlappios_Y29tLmFwcGxlLlVJS2l0LmFjdGl2aXR5LkNvcHlUb1Bhc3RlYm9hcmQ=

Exactly this. Also, how has it gone on so long that she's been escaping and you've not googled a way to stop her from doing it?

Ah, I mostly drive on the motorway and in slow traffic I’m singing (badly). Never thought to look in cars. I always have my dog in a harness on the back seat but I wouldn’t have thought you could tell just from driving past me.

I was thinking an HGV driver could see. The police did use an HGV for a while round here to catch people on their mobiles.

Yes, this, how have you not sorted it out before now? Would you have done anything if the police hasn't been involved?

I hope this gives DH a wake up call.

Its one thing to get out of the car seat but to climb into the passenger seat is extremely dangerous.

I would have stopped immediately to teach the child that they cannot get away with that.

Hopefully SS being involved will actually be a positive thing and have prevented a death or serious injury.

Its nothing to worry about.
They may not even contact you at all.

I’m still not sure how someone else managed to see it? I’ve never been able when either a driver or passenger to look into another car and see in that much detail what the occupants were doing.

Maybe Op's daughter was standing up/moving about & it was obvious?

I just want to say we have tried so many ways of stopping her from doing it. I’ve bought 3 different contraptions which she has found her way out of.

I am trying this last option and then I’ll be buying a new car seat.

This is a very good point, it may be better to frame this as, “she has only just worked out how to get out of her seat”.

(Unless your DH has already admitted to the police that this is a frequent occurrence.)

I’m not doubting it worked for yours @Lookingatthesunset but it doesn’t for mine. It turns it into a game. We have some success with the Houdini in one car seat but in the other he can get his arms out. Anyway - sorry, @A2010 . I just wanted to sympathise!

Are you driving a very low slung car? I can't imagine how you wouldn't be able to see what was happening in the next car at traffic lights or in very slow moving traffic

I’d invest your time in giving some tougher rules and parenting to your daughter, rather than investing in another car seat she’ll escape from.

You need to enforce “no” more regularly and more robustly. That goes for her father, too. Two years old is old enough to learn what no means.

Well you had long enough to sort the problem (buy a different car seat)
She is distracting you from driving and you're going to cause an accident.

Make sure you have something to cut her out of the seat if you use an extra securing device.

If you end up stranded on the motorway on one of these stupid smart motorways you need to get her out very quickly.